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Numbers

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Friday morning is my weigh-in day. Wanna know how I did?

Well, do you???

I lost 1.4 lbs.

:)

Woo Hoo!!!!

And for July I lost a total of 2.7 lbs.

Not bad for a month full of out of town visitors, four parties, one business trip and one week of being the only parent at home. These situations are all triggers for poor wellness for me. But, I did it. I'm proud. Go me.

So, this morning after I weighed myself I was thinking about what I would write about today on my lunch hour. As I looked at the scale I thought about how I was closer to being ok with posting my beginning weight here on my blog. I have been planning all along to do that once I hit onderland (199 lbs.) (oops, I just gave away that I weigh over 200 lbs.) Give me a second...

While I ...

Stop ...

Hyperventilating ...

I don't share my weight with anyone. Not even Jim. Although he's probably figured it out by listening to me spout certain numbers out when we're wellness talking.

Back to my story.

Today's weigh-in is significant because I finally got off that five pounds I've been yo-yoing the past six months. And now I can officially say I've lost 30 pounds instead of saying that with a mental asterisk that says depending on which week I'm weighing in.

I'm just going to jump in and not think about it.

Today I weighed in at 215.8 pounds.

That means I started this journey at 245 pounds.

And there it is.

Why do I have a knot in my stomach. It's because I've always hid that number. In my head I didn't look like I weighed 245 pounds. I thought people would be shocked to hear that number. But, you know what - that number doesn't define me anymore. 215.8 defines me today and that's it.

Here's another number - 225

Do you know what that number is? That's my weight on August of 2002. When I found out I was pregnant with my first born, Jacob.

Heck yeah - I weigh less today than I did before I had my kids.

Not just less, but ten pounds less!!! Now that's something to write about.

Take that stupid numbers.

Here's one more number for today - 196

That is how much I weighted in October of 2000 - the month Jim and I were married. That's my goal for this year. To lose 19 more pounds and weigh what I did 10 years ago. When I was 25. When I was in my twenties for crying out loud. I will do it, just you watch.

Ok, I lied, I have one more number - 29

I gained 29 pounds the first two years of my marriage. I've never thought about that number before. I need to take a look at why that happened. I have a feeling it was because I eat when I'm lonely and Jim worked a lot of nights those first few years of marriage and I was left alone in the house with all the junk food I bought from the store. I'm totally not blaming him, it wasn't his fault that I couldn't control my eating. I will give this topic some self-reflection and address it in another post soon.

Well, thanks for holding my hand while I wrote this post. I'm going to proofread it now and hope I don't hit the delete button.
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