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I had a couple of "poor-image" moments this past weekend. On Saturday I made it home from cheering on the 5k racers (post coming soon) with enough time to drop off Gracie and head over to the YMCA for Zumba.
I didn't think I would have time to go, so I didn't have my workout clothes (tank and pants) ready. I had on one of Jim's t-shirts and I put on some shorts (I never wear shorts to the gym).
So when I got to class and found a place in the front row, I had a really hard time looking at myself in the mirror. It wasn't the me I was used to seeing in the reflection. I looked big and dumpy and it was messing with my head ...
Then, at last night's Zumba class I wasn't feeling well, but really wanted to go. I hung out in the third row and was only able to give about 60% of what I normally give. I was a little down in the dumps on the way home and when I rounded the corner, I saw my neighbor/friend walking into her house wearing a super cute summer dress. (Kelley, I know you read this and I have to say - you look amazing.) I know Kelley's been running and I see her a lot in the mornings coming home from her morning workout as I'm on my way to work. She's been working hard and it's noticeable.
So the crappy self-image stuff along with being envious of my friend Kelley and not feeling very well, all lead to me coming into the house sitting at the kitchen table and putting my head down. Jim came in to talk and I told him I was frustrated with not seeing results the last few months.
I've pretty much been losing and gaining the same five pounds for the past three months.
Jim, being Jim, paused for a second and was thinking of what he could say to cheer me up and finally he said he didn't know way to say. He has suggested in the past that I go see a trainer that could look at my diet and exercise and help me make adjustments, but I'm not there yet. I have a hang up about seeing a trainer and I'm just not comfortable doing it yet.
So anyway, I got to work this morning and I realized I hadn't updated my exercise calendar. I have one of those yearly calendars taped to the slide-out shelf on my desk and I Sharpied (yes, it's a verb) out the dates that I exercised. I went back and updated the last three weeks and I had a huge revelation. I only exercised seven times in May, six times in June. That's compared to my 20 times in March and 15 times in April.
Obviously I wasn't working as hard as I thought I was.
So, I have a new attitude today. I'm back tracking points AND exercising 4-5 times a week and I know I will start seeing results again.
I do have some challenges coming up. Next week I'll be on a business trip and away from Zumba, but my friend Liz has already asked me to workout with her while we're there. Then the week after that Jim is on a business trip which means I'll need to take the kids to Child Watch which I don't really like to do (for no good reason - the kids like it). Then before school starts we're going out to Maryland for a week to visit my brother's family. Kim has told me she can hook me up with Zumba classes at her gym while I'm there.
So, I have a plan for my challenges. My goal is to be down another 10 pounds before our Florida trip in October and I think that's an attainable goal.