I'm My Favorite

Weigh In and My Dream

2012-02-10T10:04:00.000-06:00

Weigh in Day - Feb. 10
Previous weight - 199
Current weight - 198.6
Difference - lost .4 pound

Total weight lost - 46.4 pounds

Early this morning I had a dream that I was morbidly obese. The dream didn't last very long. I do remember that I was looking at myself in a full length mirror from the side and I was shocked at what I saw, especially my face. When I think back on the dream I remember the feeling of - there is nothing I can do right now to change how I look.

And you know, that is true and maybe that's why so many of us have given up in the past. There was nothing I could do in that moment, looking in the mirror and not liking what I was seeing, to change how I looked.

Any effort that I put into losing weight won't show up physically for awhile. There is no instant gratification when it comes to saying no to a piece of cake and then physically seeing your double chin get smaller at the same time.

Although it would be nice to have instant results I think part of the whole journey of losing weight should be that it's hard. That way you learn about yourself along the way. Plus, when you've worked so hard you don't want to put the weight back on and make all that hard work be for nothing.

I was thinking this morning about my .4 lb loss this week. I am happy with any loss but in my head I knew I could have done better. This week was pretty easy for me. I only worked out once, I went over in points again this week, I had several days where I ate what I wanted (but still tracked). It was pretty easy and I lost. But you know what? I don't want it to be easy. I want it to be challenging. And that's because I remember what it was like before when I was losing every week. It was hard, but so rewarding. Planning out my points so that I could have a burger at the end of the week is different than eating a burger and then manipulating my points the rest of the week to make it work. It goes back to being in control.

Like I've said the last two weeks, I'm taking teeny tiny baby steps right now but with each step I'm gaining my confidence and belief in myself. It's working for me.

Tanner & Peyton

2012-02-08T12:48:00.001-06:00

I don't think I've told you all about Peyton have I?

If you remember, I lost my black lab, Maggie, back in. Pause. I had to go back to my blog to see when Maggie died and it was Feb. 10, 2011. I can't believe it's already been a year. I saw this photo of her pop up on my screen and it hit me in the chest. I still miss her so much. I'm fighting back tears as I type.

Maggie was my wedding present from Jim. She was 11 when she died. In April I was finally able to write my goodbye to Maggie on my blog. Please read it if you haven't already. (ok, now I am crying)

It was in that post that I introduced you to our crazy dog Tanner that we had just adopted from Indiana Bulldog Rescue.

Over the spring and summer we got to know Tanner. He was about six months old when we got him and we were his third owner. We could tell it was his behavior that made him end up in the rescue. We're not sure about Tanner's history, but we could tell he didn't respond to positive or negative reactions from us. We would walk in the door and he would immediately start biting on us, wanting to play. He was full of energy and even long walks didn't tire him out.

We traveled a bit over the summer and we found an awesome lady to watch Tanner at her house. She has two dogs and a huge backyard and whenever Tanner would come home from doggie day camp he would be tired and lay around for two days straight. It happened every time. We knew that he was lonely and needed a playmate, but were we really considering getting another dog?

I thought it would be out of the question.

When Maggie and Cicely were still alive I used to look at the Human Society of Indianapolis' web site all the time and send Jim photos of the cute puppies I would see up for adoption. Well, one day in late October I happened to go out to that site for the first time in years. I browsed the different dogs stories, looking to see if any of them jumped out at me and then I found this little guy. Peyton.

I sent Jim an e-mail titled "humor me; i'm at it again ..." and the e-mail included this sentence from Peyton's bio “I also enjoy playing with big dogs who enjoy wrestling.” along with this photo.

Later that day I sent Jim a text about the dog and he replied "get that dog."

So we coordinated a date to meet Peyton and brought the whole family, including Tanner, to meet him. As soon as Tanner locked eyes on Peyton in the little garden area of the human society we knew it was over. They immediately took to each other and were having so much fun playing. They both loved wrestling, but never got mad at each other.

We talked to the volunteer for a long time about Peyton. Again, we don't know his history. He's the same age as Tanner (about a year at the time we adopted him). She said when he came into the shelter and was put in a crate he freaked out after a few days and she volunteered to keep him at her house until he was adopted. She said he was going insane in the crate with all the other dogs and noise.

It took him a little while to warm up to Jim. We can tell he's afraid of the garage and he jumps at sudden movements. It just breaks my heart to think about what may have happened to either of our dogs before they came to us.

I could go on forever about Peyton and Tanner, but the main point is that they are a match made in heaven. We knew right away we made the right decision and these two boys were meant to be together. They even have the same coloring and they have the same markings on their head.

They need each other. They played nonstop for three months. If they weren't asleep they were playing and wrestling with each other. Tanner became a perfect angel once Peyton came home with us. He never nibbles on us anymore. Peyton loves to cuddle, which I love. He will snuggle up with me and just be happy to be near me.

Ok, enough with the words, here are some photos.

Yep, Tanner still sucks on blankets :)

My big sweetie sleeping on me.

Tanner likes to lick Peyton's ears and face for some reason.

It took them awhile to get to this point, but they love each other so much now that they often "spoon" together.

Cake and Pickles

2012-02-07T11:24:00.000-06:00

One thing I've noticed the last two weeks is that I'm so hungry. Oh my gosh, I'm hungry all the time. It's so frustrating. It's usually a few hours after dinner that I notice it the most and that is one of my most vulnerable times. It would be so easy for me to grab a full meal's worth of points from the fridge or pantry if I'm not paying attention.

The two things that have been working for me are first (which I mention last night) I just go to bed. I fall asleep really fast and sleep soundly so I know if I just go to bed I'll be up before I know it and can eat breakfast. And secondly, I'm trying to fill up on zero or low point items. The last two nights I have been so tempted to get into the cake that the boys made for the Scout auction on Sunday. It would have been so easy to just take a forkful here and there (btw, the rest of the cake went in the trash last night).

Jacob and Jim's "CAKE" they made for the Cub Scout Cake Auction. So creative!
(I'm not allowed to help. Obviously.)

But instead I've gone through half a jar of pickles. They are zero points and actually somewhat filling. Plus, once you eat a pickle, nothing else really sounds good. My favorite are Claussen Dill Halves (thanks for the recommend Kim!)

Source

P.S.

2012-02-06T20:43:00.001-06:00

You know your successfully back on Weight Watchers when you're happy to go to bed because it means you can eat again in the morning.

Best Effort

2012-02-06T19:15:00.003-06:00

Zumba was great tonight. I knew going into it that the Monday night class would be the only one I would be able to make it to this week so I knew I wanted to make it count. I even made "put your best effort into Zumba tonight" as one of my three daily tasks. I left feeling awesome so that gets a big fat check mark.

Hey, did you guys notice that I blogged Monday through Friday last week? And I wasn't even trying! I definitely see benefits from blogging regularly so I'm really going to give it my best effort, even if it's just short posts like this one.

Weigh In and Girl Scout Cookies

2012-02-03T09:49:00.000-06:00

Weigh in Day - Feb. 3
Previous weight - 200 (Jan. 27)
Current weight - 199
Difference - lost 1 pound

Total weight lost - 46 pounds

First of all, I haven't done a weigh in post since Sept. 9 (I was 197.8 on that day). Nearly five months - ridiculous. I'm really glad I'm bringing these back.

Second of all, I felt really strange taking my weekly weigh-in photo. It had been awhile for one of those as well (July).

Thirdly, I'm thrilled with my one pound loss because according to my tracker I was wayyyy over in points this week. Which means one of three things 1.) it will show up on the scale this week, 2.) I overestimate points for the foods I didn't know nutritional information for or 3.) I've been eating so poorly before this week that even though I was over, I still made better choices than I have been and it showed with a loss.

I'm really hoping for number three because that will mean I will have a killer loss next week because I'm going to rock the point counting this week.

Fourthly, this has been a truly stressful week for me personally. There have been so many ups and downs this week that have happened so quickly that I'm proud that I still have my head in the game. There is nothing I would like more than to crack open five different boxes of Girl Scout cookies and eat them all right now. Thankful I wrote this down this morning.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Parallels

2012-02-02T11:45:00.001-06:00

I talked about my headaches once before on my blog. I was seeing a neurologist at the time that diagnosed me with cluster headaches. I stayed with him for a year and tried one prescription after another. The only thing that seemed to work were steroids but he kept taking me off of them once the headaches were gone and then they would promptly come back. I finally realized I really did not like this doctor so I decided to try another doctor in early November. (Sidenote - I was very annoyed when I called my physician for another referral and through our conversation the nurse told me she had heard similar complaints about the first doctor I had seen. Then why did you refer him to me???)

So anyway I went to my new doctor and immediately liked her. I told her about my history and treatment up until that point. She asked me why the other doctor hadn't had me try oxygen. I had wondered the same thing and I was already feeling more comfortable with her as my doctor. As I went into more detail about my pain she said she thought they weren't actually cluster headaches but I had what was called neuralgia. Neuralgia is nerve pain that occurs when a nerve is irritated. She schedule a bunch of tests and scans to rule out anything scary and she tried me on new medications. As my previous doctor had done, she started me off with a medication plus a steroid and so I wasn't surprised when my headaches went away after a few days.

... Just to remind you, I'm talking at least three headaches a day, every day without a break. I've had this for at least five years. They could be so painful that I would lay down because of the pain and wake up nearly two hours later and feel like I had passed out. I tried not to talk about them too much with my family because I didn't want to worry them about how painful they were. Most nights I would wake up in the middle of the night because of the pain and not be able to fall back asleep for at least an hour. I was taking Alieve every day and was worried about becoming addicted to it. It was a pretty miserable time. One of the worst parts is that I would be just going about my day just fine and then the pain would start under my eye and I would know the next 60 minutes would be miserable. The headaches happened around the same time of the day give or take an hour so I had to avoid scheduling work meetings during times I would be afraid I would get one. It was just awful. It hurts my stomach just to think about it ...

So back to my treatment, I took the steroid and the anti-inflammatory drug she prescribed and relished the few pain-free days I knew I would have while on the steroid. And as I tapered off the steroid to see if the anti-inflammatory drug held the headaches off I held my breath. I held my breath for 10 days and then finally felt comfortable enough to admit to myself that the drugs were working. It was amazing. I was still having some breakthrough pain in the middle of the day, but nothing like what I experienced before. My doctor was so thrilled at my follow up appointment. She prescribe another daily dose of the anti-inflammatory drug which eliminated the pain completely.

So now I take my medicine three times a day. I don't have any headaches. I haven't taken an Alieve in weeks. I feel wonderful. It's almost to the point now that I forget how much the pain used to effect my daily life. It's hard for me to remember the fear I carried around just waiting for the next attack. Afraid to go to sleep knowing I would wake up in so much pain. Feeling like I was missing out precious time with the family when I had to lay down because of "one of Mommy's headaches."

I have alarms set on my phone to help me remember to take my meds. Every once in awhile I'll forget to take a dose at the normal time and I will begin to feel a little bit of pain breaking through and it's then that it all comes rushing back to me and I'm so thankful I don't have to deal with the pain anymore.

I was thinking about all this last night and I realized you can draw similar parallels to losing weight. When I was 50 pounds heavier that weight would make me feel miserable on a daily bases. I never knew exactly when it would bring me down - whether it be seeing my reflection in a window, seeing a friend look great in clothes I wished I could wear, trying on bathing suits - but it happened daily.

I tried different diets and different theories. Sometimes they would work for a little while, but eventually the old feelings would come back. I stuck with the same plan of trying over every Jan. 1 even though I knew in the back of my mind that it wasn't right for me.

And once the weight was gone I was so excited. I could hardly believe it. I had no idea what it would be like to be thinner and it was a wonderful feeling. But as the days went on I got more and more used to my new body and healthy lifestyle that I didn't appreciate how far I had come. It wouldn't be until I fell of the wagon that it would all come back to me how unhappy I had been with the extra weight. Never again will I miss out on precious time with my family because I'm too overweight to participate!

I Can Relate to This Dog

2012-02-01T12:25:00.004-06:00

If (when) I lose my mojo again, read this ...

2012-01-31T11:32:00.001-06:00

I can feel myself starting to change and it feels different this time. It doesn't feel like fleeting feelings of hope. I'm feeling the confidence that I felt when I was losing before.

I feel a sense of urgency to write down what's going on and how I got here so that when I lose my wellness mojo again (because I'm sure it will happen) I'll know what to do to get it back.

Most importantly I'm tracking consistently. I've tried and failed to do this so many times over the last year. There is something different about it this time. My pattern before was to start on Mondays, not be consistent and then by the time the weekend came I would give up. Here's what's different. I'm bringing my lunch to work so my numbers during the day are low. That is boosting my confidence to have a modest dinner. When I stay within my daily points it is much easier to enter them. The hard part is still the weekend. I'm not sure what prompted me to do it this past weekend. I think it may have been my stubbornness. But I said enough already. You know you are going to have pizza on Friday and have a girls night on Saturday and you'll use up all your weekly points, but so what - own it. Note to mojoless self - Just get through a whole week of tracking and I guarantee you you will not regret it.

I'm blogging. When I write it builds my confidence in myself and gives me a sense of accountability. It also helps me uncover things that I might not have realized had I not sat down to write about them. To be honest I have struggled the last couple of weeks because my blog stats show that not nearly as many people read my blog as they used to. It's rare for people to mention my blog in conversation or even comment on the blog itself. But what has helped me the last couple of days is to just let go of that. It's not a good reason to blog.

I'm thinking about the WW points before I put the food in my mouth. So simple but makes a huge difference.

I've been down in the dumps lately. When I'm down I give up on myself and I eat. Gaining control back with my wellness goals is so empowering. Feeling like I have control over something when I have little control over anything else makes me want to hold on to that feeling of control and not ever let go.

I Know My Confidence Is Here Somewhere!

2012-01-30T11:16:00.000-06:00

Thank you Sabine, Mom and NAN for your responses to my last post. I really appreciate the feedback and knowing I'm not alone.

_____________________________________

One of the things on my task list last week was to sit down and journal about what I want. On Saturday I spent less than 10 minutes writing, but I did uncover a couple of reasons that have been hiding out in my head.

The first being I want to get down to my lowest weight again. Until I lose the 10 pounds that I gained back I will continue to feel like a failure. I haven't listed my weight here on my blog for several months and that's the reason why. Well I'm not going to wait until I get to the lowest weight to be truthful on here any more. The accountability and weekly weigh-ins have helped me in the past, so I'm going to take a step forward. My weight last Friday was 200 lbs.

The second thing I wrote is I want to be thinner. Yes, it sounds obvious, but this is the #1 reason I want to lose weight at this point. Two Sunday's ago I was finally back in the workout room at Zumba and when I saw my side view I cringed and looked away. I don't want to do that anymore.

I went to Zumba again on Thursday, but I didn't have any clean workout tanks so I wore a t-shirt which I never do anymore. It just makes me too hot and I always get down on myself on how I look in oversized t-shirts when I'm doing aerobics - I look huge.

All I could think about during class was how bad I felt about myself and how great my instructor looked. Julie was rocking her Zumba instructor tank, tight Zumba pants and cute little pigtails. But I was even more impressed because Julie has shared her before photos with our group before. I kept thinking about those photos as I followed Julie along doing the Zumba moves. She is proof that I can do this. She is motivating me. I can do this. I know it.

The good news is I'm getting there. I'm taking baby steps and I'm starting to gain my confidence back. The daily (manageable) task list is helping. I'm not eating after dinner. I'm tracking. Thank God I'm finally tracking again. I tracked all weekend and even though I'm in the red for my numbers this week, at least I tracked. I'm getting there. But until I see some physically results I'm just going to be going through the motions. That's just the truth. Until I see it in my clothes and my body I'm just going to have to believe in myself enough to know I can do it.

Daughters and Self-Image

2012-01-26T11:27:00.002-06:00

I want to talk about our daughters.

My daughter is 7. She is perfect in my eyes as well as her own. Everyone at school is her friend and likes her and she likes everyone.

My perfect daughter Gracie.

The thing is I was 7 once and I know things will change. I don't know exactly how or when it happens but we girls start comparing ourselves to other girls. Other girls are smarter, prettier and thinner. And we all know that girls can be mean and will point out that they are smarter, prettier and thinner.

How do I prepare my daughter for this? I feel a sense of urgency. This is the time RIGHT NOW that I need to ensure she has a high self-esteem. That she has a positive self-image. And how can I do that when I know I am guilty of comparing my daughter to other girls. Maybe I'm just human, but I feel awful about this - I compare Gracie's reading ability to other girls, I compare how she looks in her dance leotard to other girls, I compare Gracie's beautiful face to other little girls.

I worry about telling her she pretty too much. I worry that I'm not telling her she's pretty enough. Do I tell her she's smart as often as I tell her she's pretty? Am I over-analyzing all of this?

All I know is that when I put that single serving mac-n-cheese in the microwave for her because it's easy and she wants it I feel AWFUL! I feel horrible about it. If there is anyone that deserves my time and effort it's my kids.

And I know I'm being hard on myself. It's been a hard couple of weeks and we've dipped into the more convenient foods than we usually do. But I just feel this great sense of responsibility - and I should - I'm her mother. Who else is she going to look towards more than me on developing good habits.

And why do I not hear more conversations about this? In this day in age when we are all so open and you can find information about anything on the internet. Why don't I see more blog posts on how to talk to your daughters about their body image.

But it's not all about high self-esteem. There are some non-rainbow-and-unicorn things I need to be teaching my daughter and I'm scared to do it and I don't know how to do it. I want to teach her that she can't have snacks as much as she would prefer. Right now she asks for a snack and I decide if it's ok for her to have one or not based on what she's eaten lately. If I tell her no, she's fine with it. But I need to be having an open discussion with her about a balanced diet. I need her to understand all this before she's old enough to discover she can sneak food or that she can trade her carrots for Twinkies at school (these, of course, are the things I did when I was a kid). I need to talk openly with her about the fact that the decisions she makes now will effect how she will be as an adult. That just seems crazy to even type that and I'm starting to have a panic attack about this.

Ok - is this where everything is coming from. Do I wish (and sorry mom - i know you read my blog and will worry you did something wrong - you didn't - I love you. I love you so much, please don't feel like any of this is your fault) do I wish that I could tell my 7 year old self that when I get home from school to not eat one Little Debbie snack after another, to beg my parents to get me to move - to find something, anything, that would have gotten me off the couch. Do I wish that I could go back and tell myself that I like broccoli and oranges and brown rice and wheat bread?

Do I? Crap, I don't know. Sure it probably would have been easier to go through life healthier and thinner, but I am who I am today because of all of my previous experiences and I like who I am today.

Ok, I've rambled on long enough. You all have to have an opinion about this. So tell me your words of advice. Links to good books and articles. Please share with me - at least to let me know I'm not alone with worrying about this.

This photo is from my half-marathon in November. I ran up to give Gracie a kiss. Her sign was upside down and said "OG Wow OG. Do you think things like having her see me train for a marathon and cheering me on at the race will help her understand the importance of wellness?

Three Things

2012-01-24T06:45:00.000-06:00

It's not a new concept, but it's new to me. Each morning I'm writing down three things that I want to accomplish that day. I have two rules. Rule #1 One of the things has to be wellness related. Rule #2 I don't care what the task is as long as at the end of the day I feel good about myself having completed it.

Results

2012-01-23T11:47:00.000-06:00

The end of January is not my favorite time of year. "Chaos" is the word that comes to mind. I'm gone the first week in January, come home for a week and then Jim is gone for his training. I just don't feel like I have things together and organized like I usually do. I don't have our family calendar up-to-date, the Christmas tree is still up and I just feel like I'm a step behind where I need to be.

And it's the same with my wellness life as well. I'm in this place of limbo. I feel like I'm circling the tarmac and can't make up my mind if I want to land or keep flying. This past week I did awesome with my eating at work, but completely lost it at night. I'm not able to make it to Zumba as often as I want because of scheduling conflicts, but there are other ways to exercise besides Zumba when those situations come up.

I just feel like I'm in a fog right now. I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm in a constant state of procrastination. I'm in a funk. I know what I need to do - starting with taking a good hard look at what my goals are for the year. I need some brainstorming sessions and to-do lists. But I keep putting it off. It's not my favorite thing to do, so I don't do it. But I know once I finally just hunker down and do it I'll be kicking myself for not doing it sooner.

I do know one thing. I've come up with my mantra for 2012. It's "RESULTS." I'm so sick of the wishing and hoping and praying. When I put in the work I get results and that is what I want - in all areas of my life. I want results.

The Girl on the Right

2012-01-11T11:38:00.001-06:00

I was talking to a group of women from my parish the other night that I had never met before. We were talking about self-esteem and when it came my time to talk I couldn't help but share how my current self-esteem was tied to my weight loss.

I told them that just a few years ago my self-esteem was at a "3" on the scale we were looking at. I had a real problem with how I felt about my appearance.

I went on to share that I had a breakthrough and decided I wanted to do something about it. I had such little self-confidence that I was afraid to tell Jim, my husband, that I wanted to try and lose weight and start going to the gym. It took a lot of courage for me to admit to him that I needed to do this (at the time I thought that meant I was admitting I was a failure) and I was scared that he wouldn't be supportive of me leaving him with the kids at night so I could go to the gym (because that's how I would have felt if the roles were reversed). I was so relieved when I realized that Jim was my biggest cheerleader and he told me to do it!

So, back to the group ... I shared with them how I began to build my self-esteem by deciding that I was worth it. That I was worth putting in the time and effort to get healthy. I took a huge leap of faith believing in myself that I could do it. And as the weight came off, my self-esteem went up. As I gained confidence in the workout room, I gained the guts to talk to people in my class and not submit to the shy girl that I really am inside.

And finally I told the group that I'm at a "7" on the self-esteem scale today because I've taken the next step by putting myself out there with being vulnerable and sharing my experiences with other people - here on my blog and with friends and strangers that I meet every day.

As I was reflecting on all this I had an "ah ha moment." As you know, I've been struggling to get the last 20 lbs. off for over a year. I realize now it is because I'm not the same person I was when I started.

It's because I have higher self-esteem than I did when I began.

I want to share a photo with you:

I don't know, maybe you don't see much difference in these photos, but for me the difference is significant.

The photo on the left was taken in 2008 and the one on the right last week (2012). I'm pretty much standing in the exact same spot in both photos, just four years apart.

I've written about it before (here and here), but last week I was at an annual training I go to in Arizona. It's where the spark to lose weight first started.

The girl on the left was 32. She liked to have fun and was nice and all, but her head was constantly filled with thoughts of "I wish I was thinner" "I wish I could lose weight" "I wish I was in a size 14 jeans" "I wish I didn't have a double chin" and on and on. The girl on the left hated having her photo taken and hated when she caught glimpses in the mirror and realized how big she had gotten.

The girl on the left wished every day that she could be like the girl on the right.

The girl on the right, at age 36, represented everything the girl on the left would never have. The girl on the right had confidence, pride in her appearance, and was social.

How many nights did I lay in bed as the girl on the left and pray to God that I would wake up and be the girl on the right? Wishing, praying, setting New Years resolutions and writing in her journal that this year would be the year. Only to look back on Dec. 31 and be so disappointed that nothing had changed.

I was desperate. I had to do something. And that desperation paired with a little glimmer of hope is what made me take off the weight.

But now I'm not desperate. I'm happy and confident. And yes, I do want so much to get this last 20 pounds off, but not the way I did in the beginning. Now the desire to eat a delicious looking cookie is more powerful to me than the desire to get down another pant size. The thoughts of "oh, I can get back on it Monday" are louder than the urgency I once had to get the weight off as fast as I could.

While I was at the training last week I didn't once have that negative self-talk I did four years ago. I enjoyed getting ready every day, picking out which outfit to wear, doing my hair and make up, picking out the right jewelry and cute shoes. I was happy to have my photo taken and didn't avoid mirrors or windows that would show my reflection.

I don't know what it's going to take to get me to lose the last 20 pounds, but at least I know now that it's not going to be the same things that it was when I started. At least now I don't have to beat myself up every time I start and stop with the same plan and end up failing. No, now I need to look inside myself and figure out what it's going to take to make this happen. And maybe it starts with figuring out why I want to lose the rest of the weight. If I truly am happier with how I feel and look now, than why do I feel the need to lose more? I feel like there is a spark inside of me that's just waiting to be lit.

I wish I had the answer to share with you. I'm hopeful that I'll find it soon.

My New Do!

2011-12-19T07:28:00.001-06:00

I've had a hairstyle pinned on Pinterest for several months now and whenever I would go out and look at it I would get a little more courage to actually consider going to the hair salon and having a stylist match the cut.

Well I finally did it this past weekend and I love it! There's a lot to be said for the way a good hair cut can make you feel.

Slow Clap

2011-12-15T20:52:00.000-06:00

A giant, standing on the table, slow clap from me for this new HEALTHY vending machine at my YMCA.

It's going to be a lot harder to say no to the kids when they ask for a snack when we're at the Y!

What Sounds Good?

2011-12-14T14:44:00.001-06:00

There is a lot going on in my head right now when it comes to my weight loss goals. The facts are I'm just barely staying around the 197 lbs. mark and maintaining that is an unnecessary daily battle. I'm making it way harder than it needs to be. I would like to be at 180 lbs. right now. That's just a little over 15 pounds, but it something I haven't been able to accomplish this year and that disappointments me.

I've been doing a lot of thinking as to what's holding me back and I think I have it figured out.

I'm scared.

I've experienced this before. I gave up trying to lose weight after my kids were born because I didn't believe I could do it. I then proceeded to eat and eat until I hit my all time high of 245 lbs. When I started weight watchers I was so scared to even try because I didn't believe in myself enough to think I could do it.

So what am I scared of now?

I'm scared of the work it's going to take to get those last 15-20 pounds off. I'm not scared about the exercise part of the work. I'm scared about the eating.

I don't believe I can do it. I don't believe I can limit the food that goes in my mouth and I don't believe that I'll make the right food choices. Because right now I'm not doing those things.

I'm eating way too much fast food, too large of portions and too many treats. I float between being happy with how I look enough to justify eating a cookie and wanting to lose weight so much that I get sad that I'm not losing. Maintaining this weight is manageable and I'm scared that when I cut back on the food to get the rest of this weight off that it will be too hard to maintain the weight loss.

Yep, that's it. I'm scared that once I lose the rest of the weight that I won't want to keep up with the work to maintain it. I feel like I already cut back on the foods I love so much now that in order to be at 185 lbs. I'll never be able to eat anything "good" again.

I need to get over this. This fear is holding me back.

What I need to do is breakthrough this mental war with what I eat. I'm constantly asking myself "What sounds good?" Especially at lunchtime. 11 a.m. hits and I didn't bring my lunch (because I haven't been to the store) and I ask myself "what sounds good?" And the answer is never good.

Monday I had the day off and I was cleaning up the house and decide to run out to pick up lunch (because we had no food in the house - see the cycle here). I was in the car and asked myself what sounded good. I decided I wanted Chinese food. As I started driving to the restaurant I decided that didn't actually sound good. "What sounds good" I asked myself again. Ohhh, Steak-n-shake chili mac and cheese fries is what sounded good. Oh my, it sure sounded good. I could smell the fake cheddar cheese already. But something snapped in my head and I literally yelled at myself in the car. I shouted out loud "what are you doing?" I was really mad.

What am I doing? It doesn't have to be this hard. I don't have to make these poor choices that ALWAYS make me feel bad after I make them. There's no reason to keep doing this to myself.

So Monday I made a good choice. I went to Chick-fil-A and got a grilled chicken salad. After I ate the salad I didn't feel bad about myself like I would have if I had gotten the Chinese food or cheese fries. Yeah, the salad didn't "sound good," or even taste "good" but it took care of my hunger and I was able to get back to my housework, which is what it's all about isn't it? I didn't think about those cheese fries the rest of the day. I wasn't disappointed that I didn't eat them, but I can guarantee you that if I had eaten them that I would have been upset about it the rest of the day.

But I'm tired of the constant battle. I'm tired of fighting with myself over what sounds good and what is good.

It's so so so simple you guys. I know this. I know what I have to do, so why am I not doing it?

Because it's hard. Well, suck it up Stephanie and put in the work!

Dec. 2007 vs. Dec. 2011 - same work event; four years later
(will post this again once I get a higher quality photo)

Here's what I have to do:

Grocery shop every week
Bring my lunch to work
Track points
Exercise

Here's what I need to do to accomplish these things:

Grocery Shop - I have to go every Sunday. No excuses. So what if I'm too tired. It all starts here. If I don't buy groceries, I don't bring my lunch, I make poor choices at lunch and then I give up for the entire week.
Bring my lunch/blog - I will be so much happier if I bring my lunch. When I bring my lunch I won't be asking myself what sounds good. And I have to blog. When I blog I lose weight. I know this. I miss blogging. I miss having people tell me they're inspired by what I write.
Track - Put in the effort to track. Stop being lazy about it. Stop whining about it. It works for me. Just do it.
Exercise - This is one thing I have going for me right now. I'm making exercise a priority. It's taking some major schedule juggling, but I'm making it to Zumba three days a week. I missed Zumba so much while I was training for the marathon. I'm so excited about being able to go even more once the holidays are over.

What do you guys think? Can you relate to the "What sounds good trap?"

Note to Self

2011-12-08T12:03:00.001-06:00

When you eat like crap you feel like crap.

Never give up.

Note to Self for November 2011

2011-11-28T06:54:00.001-06:00

Original posted 1/1/11

Note to Self for November 2011

Dear Self,

December is going to be really, really hard for you wellness wise. You'll breeze by Thanksgiving and think you'll have no problem with December, but you will be wrong.

You know you don't do well when your routines are out of sorts and during December routines are totally out the window. You will be stressed with too much to do and not enough time. You will feel guilty about not spending enough time with the kids and you will try to do it all and not succeed.

You will do fine at work. You will be able to resist the coffee cake and chocolate and cookies that are on the nook outside your office.

Your biggest temptations will be at home and with your lack of time. Don't buy cookies "for the kids" don't keep sweets from the party "for the kids." Because they won't stick around long enough "for the kids" to eat them.

Your word for the month of December should be "PLAN." Know you will be short on time and will be tempted to take the easy way out and go through the drive through. You'll give up your time at the grocery store for a fun evening at the local Mexican restaurant. Plan better than that.

The best thing you can do is to not take part in your "normal" weekly splurges like Five Guys on Friday night because of all the other parties that you will be going to.

You need exercise. You need it physically and mentally. You won't have time to go to your classes like you usually do. You'll work your calendar around so you think you'll be able to go, but life will come up and you won't go. PLAN. Get workout dvds in the house for the month of December so you can do them after the kids go to bed. You will feel better when you do.

And most importantly keep everything in perspective. You've felt like a wellness failure this entire month, but when you look back at your weight on Nov. 26 (194.4) and Dec. 31 (196.2) you only gained 1.8 pounds. Only 1.8 pounds. You can take that off in a week no problem. Maybe instead of waisting so much time beating yourself up you could have just accepted that December is a hard month for you, acknowledge that you'll never give up, that you'll never throw in the towel during December and just start over in January - that's just not your style. And instead, enjoy your crazy, busy life during the month of December for what it's worth.

Love,
Me

Just Slow Down

2011-11-11T12:30:00.000-06:00

This is a crazy busy time of year for me at work. I sent my coworker Stacey an e-mail the other day telling her that I was having old feelings of wanting to deal with the stress of being busy at work by eating it away with brownies and cookies.

Since the marathon last week (has it only been a week?) I've been trying my hardest to clean up my eating. I went back to Zumba and felt awesome. And I'm happy to report that I'm down two pounds this week (there was a lot of carb loading last week).

But it still hard. Man it's hard. It's hard to make the right decisions every single time. It's a lot of pressure.

I haven't been to the grocery store which is mistake number one. I finished off the bag of bagels I had at the office earlier this week and yesterday morning I just had some instant oatmeal for breakfast.

On the way into work this morning I debated stopping at Chick-fil-A and battled with myself over what I would get. I kept thinking I'd stick with their oatmeal or yogurt, but man that breakfast burrito sure sounded good.

I decided to just go to the office and have instant oatmeal again. I walked into the kitchen to get my stuff and then I saw it. A tray of leftover brownies from Paradise Bakery. I could smell them through the container.

Usually I'm pretty good about saying no to sweets at work, but with everything going on I had the overwhelming urge to grab one, wrap it in a napkin and sneak it to my desk. Luckily one of my co-workers was in the kitchen with me so I was too embarrassed to follow through with my plan.

I made my oatmeal and headed back to my desk. But I was still thinking about that brownie. I started a debate in my head to justify eating it. I said I could just skip the oatmeal, have the brownie for breakfast and just eat "good" the rest of the day. It couldn't be that bad could it? I could start to taste the brownie already.

But here's what I did right. I looked up the WW points for the brownie BEFORE I ate it. Paradise doesn't have their nutritional information online, but from what I could find I was looking at 17 points for that one brownie. Over half a days points for something that would make me hungry in 30 minutes and make me feel bad about myself for eating.

It was easy from that point on. Once I saw that 17 pop up I knew it wasn't worth it. Funny how that works isn't it? I happily ate my oatmeal and went on with my morning.

It pays off to just slow down and think before you eat!

Indianapolis Monumental Marathon Half Marathon - I Did It

2011-11-06T14:14:00.002-06:00

Recap to come ...

Reflections of Marathon Training

2011-11-01T20:38:00.001-05:00

136 miles

36 hours

This past Sunday I laced up my shoes and headed out in my neighborhood for a six mile walk. It was just like any of the other 30 walks that I've gone on over the past 14 weeks. It was a beautiful fall day and I was listening to my walking playlist on my phone. About a mile into the walk one of my favorite songs from my playlist came on - Mumford & Sons' Roll Away Your Stone. It was then that I started to tear up a little. You see, this six mile walk was my last long walk before my half marathon this Saturday.

I was overcome with emotion. I'm so proud of myself. I don't mind bragging about it. It's quite an accomplishment to train for a marathon. I had absolutely no idea how huge an accomplishment it was until I went through it myself. I started training on Aug. 4. That's nearly three months ago. There are not many things that I can say I stuck to for three months.

On Sunday, I couldn't help but reflect on my three months of training. To remember all the early mornings and late nights of walking. The hours and hours of walking. The majority of my walks were by myself. I'd guess about 25 hours with just me and my walking shoes. When I started my training in August it was too hot to walk outside and now it's so cold some mornings that I need gloves and a hat. It's amazing to me to do something so long that the seasons have changed.

Another thing that I didn't expect was how attached I would become to my walking playlist. I've walked to the same playlist the whole three months. These are songs that for the rest of my life when I hear them I will remember this marathon. There are songs that always make me smile and quicken my pace (Wannamama by Pop Levi and my very favorite song Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis). There are songs that very few of my friends would have recognized back in August, but now many of them would because it's the theme song to a new, popular television show - 2 Broke Girls (Second Chance by Peter Bjorn And John).

And then there's the song that just recently has made me start crying when it comes on my earbuds. That song is Black Night by the Dodos. I'm listening to this song right now as I write this post and I know why it makes me emotional. From the beginning there's a marching beat to it. It just sounds like I'm walking. The march gets stronger and louder. I can picture myself walking on my neighborhood sidewalks that I spent hours on this fall. Looking down at the concrete, my feet crunching the leaves. The beat gets faster and faster. Then two minutes into the song the singer starts repeating "You want it all. You want to walk. You want to walk.Crack through it. You had it all. You had it all. You had it all." Those words are so powerful to me. Maybe it's the word "walk" or maybe it's "you want it all" but whatever it is, I feel so strong and so proud and in that moment I feel like I can accomplish anything.

But it hasn't all been rainbows and kittens. It's been really hard. My first mistake was the first time I skipped a walk. I managed to go eight weeks before that happened. After I missed that first walk it was much easier for me to miss other walks. I ended up skipping nine of my 39 walks. Four of them were my long walks and that is my biggest regret. But I know I will still kick butt at the marathon so I try not to dwell on that too much.

I missed a week of training after I sliced the bottom of big toe open while camping. I think it's saying something when I'm in a park bathroom at 3 in the morning with blood pouring out of my toe and the tears falling down my face are not because I'm in pain but because I'm afraid I won't be able to participate in my marathon. Luckily, I allowed myself to heal and my toe is just fine. Note to readers: take a flashlight when you walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night in flip flops.

I've walked in rain, scorching heat and brutal winds. I've been chased by dogs and yelled at by people in cars. I've missed out on sleeping in. I've missed out on family time. I've struggled, really really struggled with my weight loss during this training.

But I know it's all been worth it. So very worth it. On Thursday I will pick up my first ever bib number, I will experience carb loading :) and on Saturday I will walk my first half marathon.

Quick Update

2011-10-10T14:13:00.003-05:00

I don't have time for a post, but just wanted to let you all know I'm doing awesome. I'm meal planning and tracking 100%. Scale says I'm down three pounds. I feel great.

Accountability - Friday Menu

2011-10-07T07:49:00.002-05:00

My goal is to have my menu for the week finished tonight and grocery shopping done by tomorrow afternoon. My WW week starts on Fridays so keeping with my promise to plan my menu and track, here is what I have planned for today:

Breakfast
Market Day Oatmeal - 4 pts.

Morning Snack
Quaker Oats instant oatmeal - 3 pts.

Lunch (business meeting)
Seasons 52 chili and salad (lunch portion) - 7 pts.

Afternoon Snack
Pretzels - 1 pt.

Dinner
Chick-fil-A chicken strip salad with berry vin. dressing - 14 pts.

Late Night Snack
Banana, strawberry, milk smoothie - 2 pts.

Daily Points Used - 31 pts. (31 pts. is my total daily point allowance)

I'm going to a jewelry party tonight (hi Mary Ellen) and I'm just going to plan on not eating anything there - it will be easier for me that way. I need to build up my confidence.

So, I will most likely feel hungry today. I feel like this is a lot less food than I've been eating lately. I want to start of this way though. I do have 49 weekly points that I have available to use and I will dip into those most days. I also have a scheduled 16 miles of walking this week which will also give me another 23 exercise points this week. I have a party tomorrow night so I will use some extra points there for dinner and drinks.

I Will Not Eat My Kid's Halloween Candy

2011-10-05T11:44:00.004-05:00

Let it be known ...

I will not eat (anymore of) my kid's Halloween Candy

source

That's what I posted on Facebook just now as I was eating my lunch.

I've been struggling blog friends. I am nowhere near being in control of my eating and haven't been for weeks.

I was eating my Jersey Mike's sub in my car just now and for what feels like the hundredth time trying to figure out how to get my control back.

So I'm working on a plan. I'm not giving up.

1. My first action step is no Halloween candy.

I had a little preview of Halloween candy this past weekend. We went camping and the campground had trick-or-treating for the kids. I don't know why Jim and I think it's ok to eat the kid's candy, but we always have.

We didn't realize there would be trick-or-treating so we improvised on the kid's "sleepwalker" costumes.

I remember last year at Halloweekend (another annual camping trip) that I just ate and ate and ate mini chocolate candy bars and then I just kept eating it after the Halloween came and went. I remember feeling super bad about it. Counting up the WW points in my head that I was mindlessly eating. I don't want to do that again this year, so I'm not.

Now that it's on Facebook and here on my blog, I won't do it. Accountability is my strength.

I still have many things to work out. I KNOW that I have to track. I've been saying this to myself for weeks and I've yet to track a complete day.

Since I haven't successfully tracked yet, I need to set myself up for success in able to do it and that leads me to ...

2. My second action step is to plan my meals for a week.

I've never done this, but I know if I do it, I will track and I will lose. Which will naturally lead to ...

3. My third action step is to track.

There it is friends - three simple steps. I promise to write and let you know how my plan is going.

Guest Post - Weight Loss Success Story - Janell

2011-09-22T15:33:00.001-05:00

I have a special treat for you today. Below is an inspirational success story from one of my "Zumba sisters." I first noticed Janell when I went to one of Lindsay's 8 p.m. classes. I was getting a kick out of her class because to me it looked like Lindsay had started her own little group of Zumba groupies that reminded me of the small group of girls that I gotten to know when I first started going to Zumba. Janell and her friends were all excited to see each other at the beginning of class and they had their own favorite songs that they would give "woo hoos" to and it was just so refreshing to see this new generation of Zumba girls so excited about this exercise class. Their enthusiasm and positive spirit was contagious and inspirational.

Janell definitely got my attention. I could see it in her face how much she loved Zumba. And I could definitely hear it in her voice :) She's not shy about being loud in class! I became friends with Janell on Facebook and we would chat in between songs at class and I got to know her a little better. I knew she had lost a significant amount of weight and I knew she was motivated to do whatever it took to reach her goals. Her enthusiasm for Zumba reminded me so much of myself when I first started and so I've always been curious about her story - so I asked her to share it with me and all of you on my blog. I'm so happy she agreed. Here's Janell's story ...

Janell - before and after

My Story
One year ago I was at my cousin’s house for our yearly Indy 500 Race Party. Her husband went around taking pictures of everyone hanging out. I tried all evening to stay out of his sight. Well, he got me in a picture after all. I didn’t think much of it. Then he sent out an e-mail to all my family … cousins, aunts, uncles, great aunts … so on. When I opened the pictures that was when I saw me. And I mean actually SAW myself. I broke down in tears. I cried so hard that night. I just kept thinking that is not me; I don’t want to be that person anymore. I had had it. I knew I needed help, and I had already tried Weight Watchers. That program just didn’t work for me. So I decided to call Jenny Craig. That was the day my life changed forever.

I was ready. I talked to my consultant, ordered my food, made a workout plan for myself, and said … "this is it; it’s time to put me first and to stick with it." And I did. I followed the weekly program faithfully. It wasn’t easy. I was hungry all the time. It was like I was feigning for food like an ex-smoker feigning for a cigarette. To keep from cheating, I would call my mom and talk to her. She was my rock. I had to make myself start working out every day, which wasn’t easy. I literally had fights in my head with myself. It was just such a struggle. In my mind, I just didn’t think I was going to lose weight. The doubts were so heavy on my mind.

My workout plan was to walk a fast pace, and then gradually start running. I just would laugh at myself thinking … "me, run, not likely." But I put on my favorite music and started walking. Thirty minutes was all I could stand. I hated that too. I didn’t like feeling winded, short of breath and tired. However, that is also what kept pushing me; to overcome that.

When that first week was up and I had to weigh in, I was so nervous and scared. I got on my scale first thing in the morning. When I looked down, I was in shock. I lost 3 pounds. I even got off the scale and got back on just to make sure it was right. And it was. When I saw those results, that’s what pushed me to keep going. I was so happy. I called my husband, my mom and my best friend. Those were the only people who knew at that time what I was doing. They were all so proud of me, cheering me on. I felt so good that day.

So I continued on my journey of losing weight. I kept strictly to my menu plan and my workout plan. Before I knew it, I was jogging on my treadmill. I wasn’t going very fast, but it was for me. Another accomplishment was reached. A small one, but I was happy. The following months the weight just kept coming off. I just couldn’t believe it.

But then everyday life was still happening. Friends wanted to meet for lunch or dinners, or family wanted to get together. I had to start telling people what I was doing. I was embarrassed at first to admit that I was on Jenny Craig. I thought it was bad to admit I needed help. But when I got positive feedback from everyone, it wasn’t so bad. I did have my problems with others saying “its ok to cheat every now and then” and “oh come on, one bite won’t hurt you.” Dealing with that was so hard. They have no idea what it’s like to be overweight and trying to lose. But I was determined to stay strong; I did not cheat once when tempted by others.

That was and still is the hardest thing to deal with. I honestly have no idea where my determination comes from. I guess I had it set in my mind that nothing was going to stop me from reaching my goal. That and the fact that Jenny Craig was so expensive and I was paying for it, I wasn’t about to lose money on it. There also were people who made comments that they’ve heard others try things and they didn’t succeed. I’m a pretty competitive person, so I took that as a challenge. I wanted to show those people, yes it can work, as long as you’re committed, and I was.

When I started to really lose some weight to the point people could tell, I decided I needed to change things up a bit with my workout. I started talking to one of my friends and we both wanted to try this new class called Zumba, but neither of us wanted to go alone. So we decided to go together and try it out. We fell in love with it. Not only was the class fun, the people there were fun. Nobody judged anyone, everyone there was there for the same reason, to get a great work out and have fun doing it. I was hooked.

So at this point, I was running in the morning, and doing Zumba two times a week. And yes I said I was running. I was now running and fast walking 3 to 4 miles every morning. So the weight just kept coming off. After a while, I started going 4 an 5 times a week. I started to become a regular. Then I met one of the instructor, her name is Geraldine. She was and is the sweetest person I’ve ever meet. She truly cares so much about her class and their health. Once I started talking to her and telling her my story, she offered to meet with me and go over some ways to eat healthy. That was the beginning of an awesome friendship. I meet with her, told her my story in more detail and how I wanted to go out on my own but was so scared of eating “normal food” and not gaining any weight. She was amazing. We talked for over two hours. She had so much faith in me then, before she even really got to know me, it was unbelievable.

The next time I talked to my Jenny Craig consultant, I told her I was ready to go on my own. She was really excited for me, and she too thought I would be ok. At that point I still had 40 pounds to go. My goal was to lose 100 pounds. I was so nervous to venture out on my own with every day food. I started trying new work out programs on top of running at home. I started counting my calories, writing down everything I ate, what I did for a workout, and I talked to Geraldine and my friends often when I had doubts or questions. There was so much I didn’t know about food and how what I ate and when I ate it could really make a difference, and I’m still learning to this day.

I’m now 10 pounds away from reaching my goal. I’m not going to lie; these past 30 pounds have been the hardest. I’m losing slower, which I know is good, yet frustrating too. I’m such an impatient person, I want results, and I want them now. Part of me wants to be content with just losing the 90 pounds, and the other part of me knows I won’t be satisfied till I lose all 100 pounds. This is where I have to keep strong and keep pushing.

Every day is a struggle, even now. I know I’m happiest after I exercise, but I still argue with myself to go exercise. I think I will always have that struggle with myself too. When I look back on this past year, I’m still amazed at what I have already accomplished. I use that as my motivation to keep going, that and talking to all my friends and family. They are my greatest support system. When I’m feeling down, mad, sad, or even happy, they are always there for me. If I didn’t have that, I’m not sure if I would be as successful as I am. When you have people you can relate to it helps to stay motivated. They give me the inspiration I need to keep going, and I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

Janell all dressed up for Zumba 80s night

Lisa, Janell and Tina getting down!

Monon Trail, Indy Greenways - 9 Mile Walk

2011-09-16T15:19:00.002-05:00

My walk yesterday was awesome! Awesome I tell you. After about three miles in I said to Stacey, "I'm really enjoying this walk. Do you think you might want to do more of our long walks after work on this trail?" And Stacey gave me an enthusiastic "Yes!"

The trail I'm talking about is The Monon Trail a 10+ mile trail in Indianapolis. I've known about the Monon for years and years but have never actually been on it. Earlier this week I was telling Stacey I wouldn't be able to do our long walk this weekend and was trying to squeeze it into the work week and she asked if she could join me. I was trying to figure out a plan that wouldn't have us walking too late at night and that's when I thought about heading to the Monon straight after work since it's just down the street. Stacey had never walked it either so we were both super pumped.

All day yesterday I kept thinking about the fact that I was going to be walking 9 miles in just a few hours. For some reason it just seemed so much longer than the 8 miles I did a few weeks ago.

So quitting time came around and Stacey and I got our gear on and headed out to our cars.

Ready for 9!

We met over the parking lot near the trail where we were going to start out and did a little stretching. It was in the low 60s and we were both a little worried about being cold since we were both in tanks, but we ended up being fine. We did see someone wearing earmuffs on the trail though :)

As we started walking I just kept thinking how nice the trail was. It was big and roomy and we were surrounded by beautiful trees. Every few minutes we would hear "on your left" as bicyclists would ride by. We passed the back of the Jordan YMCA where we go at lunch to lift weights.

Waiting at a stoplight

Our plan (thanks to a little advice from our friend Ali) was to walk 3 miles south towards Broad Ripple and turn around for 3 more miles. We would stopped at our cars for a quick drink and then head up the trail north for 1.5 miles and then head back to complete the 9 miles. I LOVED that plan. Breaking it into chunks made it seem like we weren't walking as far.

My favorite section of our walk was when we got to Broad Ripple and past by all the wonderfully smelling restaurants.

So the first 3 miles went by super fast as we were gabbing - that's what I love about walking with a friend. As we reached our first turn around spot after the 3 miles our legs both started to feel a little heavy. At 6 miles we stopped at our cars for water and some energy snacks. I had these Jelly Belly which I really liked and my stomach was able to handle. I had given Stacey a pack of pomegranate chews I had picked up and they were so nasty she spit it out and then of course I had to try it to see how bad it was and it was really bad. I threw the package away so I don't remember what they were called.

We both noted that we really enjoyed walking on the trail and we were walking noticeably faster than we usually do (Distance: 9.14mi Time: 02:33:06 Pace: 16:45min/mi Speed: 3.58mi/h). I credit it to being on a trail with other people out exercising and that fact that it wasn't 7:30 a.m. and we weren't half asleep.

We made our way up the mile and half and then headed back to our cars. It went really well for me - I had a little irritation on my right arm that was either from the cold and/or my arm rubbing against my side. It feels fine today but was burning a little during our walk. Unfortunately, Stacey ended up with two blisters on her feet after the walk, but she bought some new running shoes today so that problem should take care of itself.

We crossed a couple of really pretty bridges

So overall, a successful walk and I can't wait to do it again. I think my favorite parts were seeing the adorable dogs out for a walk. We also saw a bunny and had a crazy bird dive at our feet that made me scream out loud.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Do You Know What's Crazier Than Walking Eight Miles?

2011-09-15T13:32:00.000-05:00

Walking nine miles, that's what! I'm walking nine miles after work today kids! Nine miles.

I remember doing a 5k with my family years and years ago. (Mom, do you remember which walk I'm talking about? I think it was for melanoma.) I'm pretty sure it was after I was married but before kids. I remember towards the end of the walk I was soooo thankful it was over because I didn't think I could walk much further.

Nine miles!!!

What To Do After A Bad Walk

2011-09-14T15:06:00.005-05:00

So my last post was about my "bad walk" last Thursday. After that walk, my next scheduled walk wasn't until Sunday and I dreaded it for the entire two days leading up to it. Having a bad walk can really mess with your confidence. All day on Saturday I kept remembering that I would have to get up early to walk on Sunday and I could think of a dozen things I rather be doing and the number one reason was sleeping.

Stacey and I had planned on meeting at the Y at 7:30 a.m. If she hadn't planned on walking with me I'm sure I would have talked myself into sleeping in and delaying my walk until Sunday afternoon and who knows if I would have done it.

I went to bed on Saturday night and set the alarm for 6 a.m. I didn't have a good night sleep at all. Tanner was not cooperating and around 1 a.m. I finally gave in and slept in Gracie's room (she was downstairs sleeping in her tent).

My alarm went off on my phone at 6 a.m. and I snoozed a couple of times. Dreading getting up, I finally made my way to the kitchen and ate something. I was secretly hoping Stacey would text me that she couldn't make it so I could go back to bed.

By 7 a.m. I was dressed and finally awake. At 7:05 a.m. Stacey texted me and said she wasn't going to be able to make it. I swear if she had sent that text ten minutes earlier I would have gone back to bed. But I didn't. I can't explain it but I had already mentally committed to the walk so there wasn't any going back. I left Jim a note telling him what was going on and that I'd be walking the neighborhood.

I still wasn't feeling "good" about the walk. The memories of the bad walk were still fresh in my mind and now I was going to be walking part of the route that I had gone on the bad walk. I put in my earbuds, kept my music pretty low so I could still hear the sounds of my neighborhood and started walking in the crisp, cool air.

I was walking pretty slow for the first couple of miles of my six mile walk. More than a 17 minute mile pace. I just wasn't feeling it. I made my way past the kid's school and thought about the parishioners that were sitting in the 7 a.m. Mass. On my right was the local public high school and as I passed their football practice field I noticed the beautiful sunrise. Not surprisingly a lot of my thoughts on this walk were reflections of the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

As I made my way around the next section of my walk, my pace started to pick up more and I started to feel a little better. When I got to the part on my route where Tanner and flipped out on me a few days before I started to feel some anxiety. I told myself that I needed to take back control over that stretch of road and bury the negative feelings I had about that bad walk once and for all. So I did. I pushed it all out of my mind and was taking in the present.

I finished the first three miles and then started on my second loop of the route. By this time I was warmed up and feeling confident. I finished the six miles with 16:23 minute mile average pace.

Unfortunately my evening schedule this week has been crazy so I haven't been able to walk since Sunday. I've had to do some major moving around on the training schedule this week and am actually going to be doing my long walk (9 miles) tomorrow night instead of this weekend. I'm a little nervous about it. The 8 mile walk two weeks ago was exhausting and I was really tired for two days after. But I'm also excited because Stacey and I are going to be walking a new route that neither of us have walked before and it should be super fun. I'll try and snap some photos along the way.

Until then ...

Weigh In and a Bad Walk

2011-09-09T20:25:00.003-05:00

Weigh in Day - Sept. 9
Previous weight - 198.6 (Aug. 16)
Current weight - 197.8
Difference - lost .8 pounds

Total weight lost - 47.2 pounds

Activity
Friday - 3 miles
Saturday - 8 miles
Tuesday - Zumba (60 minutes)
Wednesday - 3 miles
Thursday - 4 miles

Last night was my 4 mile walk. It did not go well. at. all.

First mistake was taking Tanner with me. I had contemplated taking our dog with me on my training walks before but I didn't want him to slow me down. However, Tanner has been cooped up in the house all week because of the rain and he has been such a handful at night. This photo isn't of Tanner, but sums him up perfectly.

So I get myself together, grab Tanner and head down the street. The pooch then proceeds to poop three times before we reach the next block. So it's back to the house with the bags of pooh so I didn't have to carry them for 4 miles. I should have taken that as a sign to leave him at home.

So here's what else went wrong:

I wore the worst shirt imaginable. It kept riding up my back and front and I ended up having to hold it down with my hand the whole time so I wasn't self conscience or choking.
I wore bad socks and got a blister on the back of my ankle.
It was raining so obviously it added to the misery.
I was feeling really dizzy. I thought maybe it was dehydration, but I'm dizzy today and I think it's the cluster headache meds I'm on. I'm tapering off of them so I'm going to have to deal with it for a few days I think.
I was so hungry and even though it was raining people were grilling out and making me want to eat my arm off.
Last summer we were at a friend's house and we were hot tubbing at night and when I got out I fell up their deck stairs. (yes, I fell UP the stairs - it was that kind of night) and I totally messed up my shin. It was bruised and swollen for weeks and some of the bruising lasted for months. I think I must have ended up with some nerve damage. I don't know if it's related but when I was walking last night I was getting this weird prickling sensation under my skin in the spot where it happened.
I was so stressed out by all the above bullets that I totally went the wrong way on my walk and not the way I had mapped out.
Two miles into the walk Tanner totally flipped out. Just totally lost it. We were walking along and then he turns back at me with that look in his eye (see photo above) and started biting the leash and jumping up on me and trying to bite me. This has happened before and I'm 100% sure this is why we were Tanner's third owners before he was six months old (when we adopted him from the rescue). I ended up calling Jim and having him take Tanner home.

So when Jim rounded the corner I pushed Tanner's butt up in the Jeep and I jumped in the back. Jim was taking us home and I mentioned that I hadn't even gotten two miles in. He said I should finish my walk.

I so wanted to just go home. To be defeated and throw in the towel. To take a hot shower and feel sorry for myself. But I couldn't make myself say the words, so I instead I said ok and reluctantly got out of the Jeep and headed back out in the rain to finish the two mile while holding my shirt down and feeling my blister get worse.

I'm really proud of myself for finishing those last two miles. A bowl of chili followed by a hot shower was well deserved after that night.

More 80s Night Photos and Training Update

2011-09-08T13:54:00.000-05:00

I had so much fun at the 80s Zumba night on Tuesday. It was two hours of pure awesomeness. All the instructors worked so hard to pull off coming up with and LEARNING routines in a week! I've never heard so much hooting and hollering in our class before. We all had so much fun. Rumor has it that they'll be planning more theme nights like this one. Here's a photo that my instructor Tina took of me.

Here are a few of my favorite photos I snapped.

Julie and Stephanie


Lisa, Janell and Tina having a good time.

Y.M.C.A


Just a few of our awesome Zumba instructors

Emily, Lisa, Amy and Linda all dolled up for 80s night!

So last night I had three miles to walk for my training. It was raining out, so I headed to the Y to hop on a treadmill. I was feeling really good and keeping a pretty consistent 4.0 pace and sometimes even 4.1.

Here's where I was at 2 miles in.

I was really excited to see my ending time and my average pace but must have gotten a little too excited because I ended up knocking my phone off the treadmill and onto the belt and I panicked and pushed stop instead of pause and lost my stats :( BOO!

I wanted to just leave after that, but I got back on and finished up my last mile.

So I went to fill in my spreadsheet today and was feeling really good about how my walks are going and how I feel like 3 milers seem so easy now. So much so that I say "I'm so glad I only have a 3 miler tonight" and then I go and see this:

4 MILERS! I only have one more 3 mile walk next week and then they switch to 4 miles (besides my long weekend walks). Oh well, I'm sure that's the way it's supposed to work right? I'm actually excited to try out a new route in my neighborhood tonight if the weather holds out. I'm going to try a 2 mile loop - I think it will make it seem to go fast to do the loop twice instead of a 4 mile loop.

And I just have to throw this in too. Look what my husband got me earlier this week "just because." I love the necklace and earrings. Thanks honey!

80s Zumba Night

2011-09-06T20:57:00.001-05:00

This is what I was doing tonight.

80s Zumba night.

It was awesome!

Yours truly.

Tired

2011-09-02T20:50:00.001-05:00

Our internet is out at home so just a quick check in from my phone tonight. I had the day off and it flew by. I did three miles in 47 minutes this morning. I have eight miles in the morning. I see an afternoon nap in my future tomorrow. I'm beat. Night all.

I'm Going Back

2011-09-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

I received some exciting news today. Exciting for me anyway. I was asked to be a class advisor for a program I graduated from this past January. This is something I really, really wanted and since I hadn't heard anything in eight months I figured I didn't make the cut.

This program is where I decided to make a change with my diet and lose weight. And this past January when I walked across the stage to graduate 50 pounds lighter than when I started the program, it was a very emotional accomplishment all the way around.

Photos of me at the program 2008 vs. 2011

So naturally, one of the first things I thought of after getting over the initial excitement of going back to this program and seeing all my old friends and making new ones was - it's time to make some new goals.

When I weighed in last Friday I was at 198.6. I've gained nearly five pounds since the beginning of June. It hurts to write that and I'd been avoiding it. I really thought it was going to come right off the last couple of weeks once I started eating better, but it hasn't so far.

My goal weight that was given to me by my doctor this past June is 180. (I'm almost 5'7"). I'd like to hit my goal weight by June 2012 so it would make sense for me to be about half way there by January 2012. That's about 18 weeks away and would put me at half a pound to lose every week. I think that's a decent goal to have.

I'm am scared though. Scared of failing. I've been stuck in the 190s for a year now. A year. I feel like I've put in enough effort to be maintaining my weight (which I've done successfully) but I haven't been putting in the effort to LOSE weight. I know how hard it is and I've been stubborn and I haven't wanted to put forth the extra effort.

So there it is. My mini goal is to be 190 by Dec. 30.

Killed It

2011-08-31T19:55:00.000-05:00

Tonight was one of those nights that I almost didn't do my planned workout. I hadn't walked since Sunday which I now know is too long for me to go between walks. Yesterday I was itching to get out and walk and tonight I was making excuses not to go.

I've really enjoyed the last two nights coming home, making dinner, doing homework, a little housework, shower and then cuddling up with a good book. On the way home from work tonight while I was figuring out what to pick up at the store for dinner is when the internal dialog started. I was talking myself into staying home tonight and making up my walk on Friday when I'm off work. I even went so far as to put on my pjs while I was making dinner.

The one thing that was going for me was that I was really hungry and starting to get grumpy. I told Jim when I got home that I might not go for my walk but then said that I'd decide after I ate. I was hoping after I wasn't hungry anymore my mood would improve and I'd want to go for my walk.

While I was helping Jacob with his homework after dinner I decided I would walk. I knew I'd feel better after my workout and I was right.

I started off my walk in my neighborhood. I was pretty slow going when I started out because I was full from dinner. I remembered my earbuds this time and I think that really helped pick up my speed. It wasn't long before I picked up the pace and started to feel really good. In between songs I could hear my feet crunching on the ground and my heavy breathing. I was in the zone.

The Map My Run lady came over my speakers after 20 minutes and said I was walking at a 16 and something pace. 30 minutes in I was walking under a 16 minute pace and that just pumped me up. At 40 I was still under 16 minutes and I couldn't wait to see what my final average speed would be.

My final stats were:

3 miles
47:24 minutes
15:44 pace

Killed It!

Running vs. Walking

2011-08-30T15:29:00.001-05:00

Back in January I tried the C25k program and failed miserably. It just wasn't for me and I was ok with that. The longest run I made it to was 90 seconds and I hated every 90 seconds of it. I never made it past Week 2 and finally announced on my blog in March that I quit the program.

I still love the idea of running though. I love reading running blogs, I love hearing about the marathons my brother runs and I'm so extremely proud of my mom and sister-in-law who have stuck with the 5k training that I gave up on. All three of those family members will be running races at Disney in October.

My brother, Erick, crossing the finish line of his first full marathon.

My mom running her first 5k.

The dream of crossing the finish line and having that medal wrapped around my neck felt like a lost cause to me.

Then one fabulous day I was sitting on my friend Julie Ann's deck intently listening to her talk about her upcoming training. I was so excited for her and asking her questions and she said I should run with her. When I said I don't run she said that's ok, you can walk it.

And then the game changed.

I thought about it for awhile. Could I really do it? Could I walk 13.1 miles? Would I want to walk 13.1 miles? Yes, I thought I did.

I talked to more friends about it, I researched training schedules, solicited my brother's advice on which training to follow and then I told you all I was going to do it.

The first two weeks were just a trial run in my mind. Of course I was afraid I would fail miserably again like I did with the C25k. Things didn't start well with shin splints but I didn't give up. I rested, bought new shoes and slowed my pace and I was back in the game.

Now that I'm entering my fifth week of training I can confidently say that I love it. I love having a goal. I love highlighting my spreadsheet after walks. I love that I get up at 7 a.m. on Sunday to do a long walk. I feel like a bad@ss because I'm doing this.

I'm excited about my potential to improve my time. I'm excited about the fact that I might end up really loving this and it will become part of me - the marathon walker. I'm excited that my friend Stacey is doing this with me and I get to spend so much time with her. There aren't many people you could spend two hours walking with on a Sunday morning and never have a lag in conversation.

My training makes me happy. I feel good after my walks. I'm SO THRILLED that walking is more flexible on my schedule - I can go after the kids are in bed without feeling guilty about choosing exercise over family time.

I didn't feel ANY of these things those few weeks that I did C25k. It just goes to show you that we're not one size fits all.

More Fun With Numbers

2011-08-29T15:00:00.004-05:00

I wouldn't call myself a numbers person and I certainly don't know my way around Excel, but I love a good spreadsheet.

So my walks have been going really well and I'm really enjoying them. My longest walk so far was nearly 7 miles yesterday and the most common distance my training has me going at this point is 3 miles.

Here are a couple of spreadsheets I've put together with my progress to date.

And then I separated out my three mile walks so I could see the progress I've made:

Now, I don't really count the Aug. 4 stats because I was nursing shin splits for that walk, but look at the numbers after that. In one week I shaved a minute off my time. I have to admit that Aug. 24 session I was hauling butt on that treadmill. I really wanted to push myself and see how fast I could go. You'll also notice that my average pace outside was a bit higher than the walks before and after that one. I can already tell it's hard to keep a faster pace when you're walking outside. It's so easy just to type a speed into a treadmill, but when you have the distractions of walking outside it's harder to keep pace.

One tool that's helped me is Map My Run. I have the app on my Droid and it records my walk while I'm doing it. I have it set to give me updates every 10 minutes on my distance, speed, average pace, etc. I also set it up so it automatically posts my walking stats on Twitter and Facebook after my walks which is kinda fun.

I have been a bit worried about keeping the 15 minute mile pace the first seven miles of the marathon, but after looking at these numbers and seeing the progression I'm making has me feeling pretty good. Plus I still have 10 weeks of training left to keep improving.

Wonderful Weekend

2011-08-27T19:08:00.000-05:00

We are having a great weekend and I wanted to check in really quickly before Gracie and I watch Gnomeo and Juliet. Jim and I had a date night last night while the kids spent the night at Grammie and Grandpa's house. Jim and I went on one of our favorite dates - shopping Goodwills and dinner. I found two really cute purses, an adorable pair of shoes and a green tank.

For dinner we went to On the Border and had too many chips and salsa and split a pitcher of Dos Equis while we watched the Colts game in the bar. We rented a pretty disappointing movie with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. Jim fell asleep during it and I tried to make it to the end but got fed up and just turned it off. I don't even remember the name of it.

This morning Jim and I went to garage sales before picking up the kids. Jim went for a run when we got home and I read for awhile. We went to Mass and now we are hunkering down for the night. Jacob and I are playing a little Smurf Dance Party.

Do you like my jammies? Don't mind the double chin - bad photo of me.

Jim promised the kids that if they cleaned up the basement they could sleep in their single serving tents tonight.

The tents were a garage sale find earlier this summer

I have my 7 mile long walk in the morning. Talk to you all tomorrow.

Pinterest Obsession

2011-08-26T14:59:00.000-05:00

I mentioned Pinterest the other day and said if you hadn't heard of it you'd be using it in six months. This coming from the girl who joined Facebook in March 2008* at the age of 32 while my friends and family were all laughing at me for being on it. Who's laughing now!

So I first found out about Pinterest after reading about it on Cassie's blog Back to Her Roots at the end of May. I checked out the web page, couldn't find out how to get my own account and then left the web site without much thought. I went back to her blog post later to comment on another web page Cassie recommended (Teudeux) that I wanted to thank her for recommending and that's where I read the comments from her readers about being addicted to Pinterest and I felt like I was missing out on something. So I went back to the web page and clicked on the Request an Invite button.

I entered my e-mail and clicked the Request Invitation button.

Well, I never heard anything from them and I forgot about it again until Cassie blogged about the web site again and again and again. That's when I went digging around my spam filter and found my invite.

I haven't been the same since.

Actually, that's not entirely true. It did take me awhile to get comfortable with their site layout and concept. I also didn't realize the potential benefits right away so it was a fondness that grew into a love affair. Here, let me explain to you why I'm on the Pinterest bandwagon.

Let's start with the boards. Once you join Pinterest you want to add the Pin It button to your toolbar by following these instructions. Then you're ready to get started creating boards. Here are a few of my favorite boards.

This is just part of my Kitchen Board.

Our next home renovation will be our kitchen and installing hardwood floors. At first I thought I wanted light wood, but once I started pinning light and dark wood floors to my kitchen board I realized I really, really like dark wood floors with wide panels.

Here's My Style Board.

I talked about this board in my post on Wednesday.

Next is my Recipe Board that I pin recipes that I find on my favorite blogs.

Here's one for Halloween Costume Ideas.

And here's one I named "Wish List" that I can send to my friends and family during the holidays so they know the perfect gift to buy me ;)

I currently have 24 boards and I can add, delete and rearrange them. I can move pins between boards.

What's a pin you ask? Well each of the photos on my board is a "Pin." I can pin something by clicking on the Pin It button I installed to my tool bar.

When you are on a web site and you see something you want to pin, you click on that button, choose which photo from that web page that you want to pin, decide which board you want to add it to and click save. It's as easy as that. You can also write a detailed description, add the price (which shows up on the pin), tag a friend that might want to "repin" the pin, and on and on.

One of the great things about pinning is that you can reference the original web site. For example, when I want to go back and buy that green t-shirt above with a dog riding a bicycle I just click on my pin and it takes me to the web site that I originally found it, in this case an Etsy shop.

Now the Pinterest feature that gets me in trouble is this one:

If you click on that link it will take you to a page of all members pins and you can just scroll down for days and days and "repin" all these amazing ideas that other Pinterest members are pinning. That's where I find most of my pins.

Ok, I'm realizing I could continue to go on and on about Pinterest because I've just scratched the surface, but I'm not getting paid for this walking advertisement so I figure my job is done. If you have questions ask me in the comments or if you want me to send you an invite to join (which is faster than requesting an invite directly from Pinterest) send me your e-mail.

*Wanna know how I figured out when I joined Facebook? I remembered who my first Facebook friend was so I went to his page, clicked on "See Friendship" link on the right and then at the top of that page it told me that we had been "Facebook friends since March 2008."

Spreadsheets

2011-08-25T20:17:00.000-05:00

I wanted to post my half marathon walk training spreadsheets. I revised them from before because it was getting confusing with the walks and cross training on one spreadsheet so I divided them into two. The walks are a priority of course and I haven't missed any since I began my training.

I've decided that I will do at least one day of cross-training a week which right now includes Zumba and/or weights.

Cross-training is a little bit harder to plan. I have to do my short walks in the evenings during the week and I don't want to be away from home too much in the evenings so I prefer to do weights with my friend Stacey during our lunch hour. So this spreadsheet above has squares marked in black for days I already know are no good, the blue squares are week day evenings that don't work for me (Cub Scouts) and the green squares are appointments that either Stacey or I have during lunch. So that gives me a good idea of what days I have open to get my cross training in.

So as you can see I've been pretty flexible with moving walks and cross training around to fit my schedule. If we have back to school night on Tuesday when I the spreadsheets says I should be walking three miles, I just find a different square to move it to that will work for me.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's 9 p.m. and I don't have anything else that has to get done tonight so I'm going to head to bed and curl up with a book and hopefully drift off to sleep before 10:30 p.m. which sounds like complete heaven to me.

This Was Fun

2011-08-24T12:04:00.001-05:00

I've always been a bit of a fashion misfit. I'm so thankful that I was in college during the grunge period because flannel shirts were so non-threatening and comfortable. Once I gained weight I just wore what fit. But now that I'm down 50 pounds I want to look nice.

So in most cases when I go shopping I buy what's on the rack and match it with a pair of black shoes. I just don't have that natural fashion gene.

Enter Pinterest. If you haven't heard of Pinterest I bet you will be using it within the next six months. It's a-ma-zing. Seriously. (future post coming soon). Some of the pins I've been repinning lately are outfits that people put together using the web site Polyvore.

So yesterday I had the brilliant idea of printing off a couple of my favorite outfit pins, heading to the nearest Goodwill and trying to replicate the outfit.

It was so fun.

Here's the first outfit I tried to recreate.

And here's what I came up with.

I know what some of you are saying, "it's just a white shirt and a gray sweater." But what I liked about this is that I walked in Goodwill, spent 10 seconds looking at the gray sweaters, 10 seconds looking at the white tank tops, and 30 seconds looking at the jeans and I was ready to head to the dressing room. Normally when I go to Goodwill I spend sooo much time looking at all the racks just trying to find things in my size to try on. This was much more fun.

Plus, shopping at Goodwill is a good way to try on brands and sizes that I haven't tried before. Here's the breakdown of this outfit.

Sweater - Joseph A. Size M

Ribbed tank - Mossimo Size Large

Jeans - Merona Size 18

I also wanted to try and recreate this cute outfit I saw on the blog Sunday Crossbow.

I've seen a lot of belts lately and I really want to try them out on dresses and skirts. Unfortunately the Goodwill I was at didn't have many belts and I only found one wide one which was way too small and not very stylish, but I tried it anyway. I didn't find any pieces that came close to the shirt or skirt, so I just tried my best.

So obviously some things looked better on than others, but it was fun and it gave me an idea of sizing for some of these labels that I've never tried on before.

I ended up buying the Merona jeans and white ribbed tank for $9. I think I can find a gray sweater that I'll like better so I put this one back since it was $5.

Look at Life Through the Windshield

2011-08-23T09:50:00.001-05:00

One thing I've been struggling with lately is comparing where I'm at right now to where I was a year ago and why I can't seem to get back to the mentality I was back when I was on program 100%.

I've finally come to the realization that I don't have to be the person I was a year ago to be successful.

There's a quote we use a work a lot (thanks Stacey).

"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror."

The windshield gives you a clear vision of what lies ahead while the rear view mirror is only what’s behind you … and it’s a dangerous way to drive.

I've also learned I personally need to blog every day. I miss it. It helps me. I need to do it.

So my promise to you dear reader, if you're still there, are daily posts. Even if it's like this one.

And because I like to have images in my blog posts ... here's an image that will give you a sneak peak at a blog post I'll be writing soon on my half marathon training. Which I am SO excited about.

Wednesday Humor

2011-08-10T05:37:00.002-05:00

Source

I CARE!

2011-08-09T15:28:00.003-05:00

I find I struggle the most when I stop caring. That's how I got to be 245 pounds. By not caring about any of it. Not caring about what I ate, not caring that I never exercised, not caring that I didn't own any cute clothes.

But that's not entirely true. Yes, I didn't care about those things, but it was only when I was justifying that sixth cookie I was shoving in my mouth. Yes, that's when I didn't care. When I was shoving down emotions or loneliness with food. Trying to comfort myself with delicious tasting treats.

But it was not worth it. And when I lost the weight I realized that feeling healthy was so much better that "not caring."

I still have those times when I think I don't care. And this summer it's seems like I have had more of those times than I'm comfortable with. I think I don't care when I go to my favorite restaurant and eat too much bread. I think I don't care when I suggest we go out for ice cream. I think I don't care when I don't track my weight watcher points. And I think I don't care when I only go to Zumba ONE time the whole month of July.

But I do care. In the long run I care and I wish that I would have made different choices. Then I get scared and wonder what happened to my drive. What happened to the person that was 100% on the program. Then I try again and do ok for a few days or weeks and then I go back to that not caring enough attitude. And then I get really scared that I'm going to end up back to where I was before.

I won't let that happen.

I read Suzi Storm's blog post today on what it's like after reaching goal and it's no surprise that she said still struggles. I know that. I know that I will have to try every day for the rest of my life. As long as I never give up I'll be ok.

Suzi said,

"Why is it that I’ve lost 101 lbs, but gained a couple back and all of a sudden I feel like a huge blob, yet I’m under goal weight & when I was at this weight eight months ago I felt like Hedi Klum (please tell me I’m not crazy)?? Every weight loss, big or small, comes with it’s own set of “new struggles”. But of course, these new struggles mean new learning’s which mean new self growth!"

It's these little ah-ha moments that are more powerful than the "not caring" moments. No, she's not crazy - I totally get her comment about feeling like a blob at a weight she felt skinny at 8 months before.

That's what I miss. I miss that feeling of feeling more fit every day, the feeling of my pants getting too big and seeing new muscles being formed. That's what I need to care about. That's what I need to think about when I start to think it's not worth it. That the taste of chocolate is NOT better than the feeling of losing weight.

I am actually in a good mental place right now. It's taken me several weeks to get there, but I'm exercising consistently again. I'm struggling with my hunger right now. It might be the medications I'm on now for my cluster headaches (which are finally gone after nearly a year of trying different medications) but I think I can work it out.

I don't know if other people are like me, but my weight loss has a pattern - it happened in two waves. I lost 25 pounds in the first six months, then I maintained that loss for about nine months. Then last July I was 100% on my game and lost 25 in six months, then I maintained that loss for about nine months.

There is definitely a pattern there. Last June I had reached a point that I wasn't caring any more. That's when I started my blog and found some accountability with that. I also was motivated by my sister-in-law Kim's determination to get healthy and then Jim joined Weight Watchers and we became a team.

But now I find myself in a sort of limbo. I feel like I'm waiting for the next motivational thing to come along and kick me in the butt. Well, others can help motivate me, but I'm the one that has to do all the work.

I have to decide that I care. And you know what? I do care.

Thanks for reading my head trash - I feel better now.

________________________

Yesterday Stacey and I went to the Jordon Y on our lunch hour intending to do 3 miles on the treadmill. Well, we were disappointed to find that we were only able to fit in 1.71 miles before we needed to hit the showers and head back to the office.

Jim was able to pick up the kids so I headed straight to the Baxter Y after work and hit the treadmill. I was hoping to get the whole three miles in at that time, but I needed to stop a little short to head downstairs to the gym for Zumba. My two walking sessions combined were 4.46 miles.

There weren't any fans in the gym for some reason and so I over-heated a bit about 40 minutes in and headed for the locker room to put a cold paper towel on my face. I ran into my Zumba friend Emily and we talked True Blood for a few minutes before I headed back to the gym.

I was feeling the effects of walking over four miles already that day so I left class about 10 minutes early, only to be greeted with a dead car battery. Jim came to my rescue though and I made it home.

Time - 77 minutes
Distance - 4.46 miles
Average Pace - 17:28

Teachable Moments

2011-08-08T08:43:00.003-05:00

We have a tradition that on the way home from our annual summer vacation in Maryland we stop at the outlet mall in Pennsylvania to buy school shoes. It's always fun and it little nerve racking as four of us pile boxes at the end of the aisle and try on shoes. Last weekend, after we had paid for four new pairs of shoes I told Jim that I was going to take Gracie to the the bathroom while he and Jacob went in another store.

As I looked in the mirror while Gracie and I were washing our hands I realized that my hair was a mess from driving in the car. I took out my rubber band and was pulling my hair back up when I looked at my stomach and saw it was sticking out a little more than normal. I turned to get a side profile view, hands still in my hair and said to Gracie, "oh Gracie, look at my tummy, I need to get back to Zumba."

And I hear this shy, quiet voice say back to me, "I think you look perfect Mommy."

My hands dropped and I looked in my daughter's eyes. So many thoughts went through my head in that split second. I had that little shot of joy that comes from a compliment, I was a little shocked at her response, but most of all I thought about how I really, really have to think about how I talk about self-image in front of my little girl.

I dropped down to my knees and looked at Gracie and thanked her for the compliment and told her it made me feel good. She smiled. Then I told her that she was right and that I am happy with the way I looked. I told her that what I should have said was I missed working out because it makes me feel so good and keeps me healthy.

Gotta love those teachable moments when your kids are the ones doing the teaching!

My smart, beautiful girl.

______________________________

Marathon training is going well. My first long walk was on Saturday. I did 4 miles. My legs felt great, but I was fighting a little cold and had a few moments where I was trying to talk myself into stopping early since all I wanted to do was go back home and go to sleep. I did get a little bored while I was on the treadmill and decided to hop on a different machine 3/4 of the way through so that I could look out the window. I need to work on some playlists to help with the boredom. I was really proud of myself for doing the 4 miles, especially because my Saturday was packed full of errands I had to run before heading to a party in the afternoon.

Weigh In and Half Marathon Training

2011-08-05T09:29:00.000-05:00

Weigh in Day - Aug. 5
Previous weight - 194.4
Current weight - 195.5
Difference - gain 1.1 pounds

Total weight lost - 49.5 pounds

Activity
Monday - 1.5 mile walk
Thursday - 3 mile walk

I've been out of town the last two weeks. I was in West Palm Beach two weeks ago for a conference and to see my favorite person, Liz. We had such a good time catching up.

And last week, I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law in Maryland for our annual summer trip. It was so great to relax and spend time with my family.

The crazy busy summer of 2011 is coming to a close. And although it's been one of the best summers that I can remember in a long time, I'm actually looking forward to the kids going back to school and all of us getting back into a normal routine.

Speaking of routines, I'm happy to report that I started my walking half marathon training yesterday. I found a 14 week training program online and am so excited to start tackling the workouts on my spreadsheet.

Wednesday we drove home from Maryland and stopped to get new tennis shoes for everyone. I got some running shoes to wear during my training and was anxious to try them out last night. I had done a short 1.5 mile walk on Monday with my old, old Zumba shoes and walked too fast and ended up with shin splints. I was still pretty sore last night walking on the treadmill, but I kept a pretty slow pace of 3.3 or 3.5 and concentrated on walking properly. It hurt a little. I made sure I stretched after and iced my shins with some frozen fried rice for a little while when I got home (until Tanner kept trying to eat the bags). I'm happy to report that my legs feel great today :)

So there you have it. I'm anxious to see how I do with this training. My friend Stacey from my office is going to train with me when our schedules match up so that will be fun too. We're going to try and do some of the 3 and 4 mile walks on our lunch hours.

Have a great weekend everyone. Get out there and move!

Weigh In and the Drivers License Photo

2011-07-22T09:57:00.000-05:00

Weigh in Day - July 22
Previous weight - 194.3
Current weight - 194.4
Difference - gain .1 pounds

Total weight lost - 50.6 pounds

Activity
Monday - Zumba (60 min.)
Wednesday - Weights (back and arms)
Thursday - Weights (legs and back)

Last week I was at a reception for a convention that I was on the planning committee for and a table of us were talking and all got out our driver's licenses to show each other for reasons that aren't worth explaining here. I dug mine out of my wallet and I looked at the photo and was shocked. I hadn't really looked at it in a long time and it was just a great reminder of how far I've come.

Feels So Good

2011-07-18T20:26:00.002-05:00

I missed Monday Zumba two weeks ago because the Y was closed for the holiday and I missed last Monday because it was moved from the gym to the classroom and I knew I wouldn't get there early enough to get a spot in the room.

Three weeks without Zumba was enough to knock me out of my Zumba funk and I was excited to get back to it tonight.

Heading to Zumba

The odds seemed stacked against me.

When I got home tonight and started to get dressed I realized I left my gym bag at work that had my only sports bra in it. I guess I need to finally break down and get another one. I wasn't going to let that keep me from going though so I wore a regular bra which I wouldn't recommend.
My workout buddy Stacey sent me a text that she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be going to class :( Feel better Stacey.
When I finally made it to the Y and got a spot in the gym I noticed after chatting with some friends that we were 10 minutes behind schedule and it looked like there was a problem with sound system.
Geraldine finally made the call that we were going to have to go upstairs to the classroom and there was a stampede to the stairs.

BUT - I managed to make it through all those obstacles and make it through class. Yay!

Here's what I loved:

I loved lacing up my hot pink shoes (even though Tanner thought we were going for a walk when he saw me).
I loved the familiar routine of getting dressed, filling my water bottle, and checking in at the YMCA.
I loved seeing the familiar faces in class.
I loved talking to Emily for 10 minutes about True Blood and the Sookie Stackhouse novels.
I loved meeting a new lady in class who told me she was inspired by my blog (nice to meet you Diana).
But most of all, I loved moving and getting my heart rate up and sweating like crazy. It was awesome.

Are we going on a walk Mama?

Indianapolis Monumental Half-Marathon

2011-07-18T14:40:00.000-05:00

This is my next thing. I'm really excited about it.

I will be walking the Indianapolis Monumental Half-Marathon on Nov. 5.

I was talking to my girlfriend, Julie Ann, a few weeks ago about fitness like we normally do and she was talking about how she would be training for this half-marathon soon. She told me I should run it with her and I told her "I don't run." She had an answer to that statement that got me excited. She said that they had several girls in her group that walk the half.

I saw JA again this weekend and she and her friend Laurie were telling me more about the training and I got really excited.

I'm excited to finally be a part of a race. I'm excited to have my family cheering for me with signs from the sidelines. I'm excited to get to know Julie Ann even better (she's my favorite) and to meet some new friends. I'm excited to create an Excel spreadsheet training program. I'm excited.

Playing with Fire!

2011-07-16T08:17:00.000-05:00

I haven't been making the right food choices, have barely exercised and the scale has been the same at 194.4 for the past three weeks. I'm entering very dangerous territory trying to figure out how long until the scale calls my bluff and see how much I can get away with.

Switching Things Up

2011-07-07T20:58:00.000-05:00

I've heard one of my Zumba instructors, Lisa, say time and time again that in order to be successful at weight loss or maintenance you have to keep things fresh, switch things up. She says if you hit a plateau you should try a different exercise. And all those times I've heard Lisa say that, I've been resistant to her advice. In my head I say "yeah but, I love Zumba" or "yeah but, I would miss all my friends."

Well, I wish I would have taken Lisa's advice sooner because the unthinkable has happened ... I've burned myself out on Zumba. The last few weeks it's been easier and easier to come up with excuses not to go. The result has been a sense of being lost.

I'm happy to report I think I've gotten myself out of this rut. I've found a work-out buddy and it's making all the difference in the world.

Me and Stacey. Darn sun washed out our faces.

I've mentioned before that my co-worker, Stacey, joined the YMCA and has been going to Monday night Zumba which is so, so fun. I enjoy that hour so much and it's mostly because she's there besides me. Stacey has a young family and it's hard for her to get away in the evenings to work out, just like it is for me. Stacey had the brilliant idea a few weeks ago to go to the YMCA up by our office during lunch. She asked if I would like to join her and before I could think it over, I shouted an enthusiastic "YES!"

Our plan was to spend our lunch hour in the fitness room and work with weights. Stacey has past experience working with different trainers, but I on the other hand have zero experience in this area.

We started last week. On Tuesday we worked on our arms. Stacey consulted her workout log from a previous training session and picked out exercises for us to do. She instructed me on form and technique and we would alternated doing sets with weights or do sets together facing the mirror.

It was fun. Which is the one ingredient I need to keep me coming back for more.

I loved the feeling when we got back to the office and I couldn't lift my sandwich to my face to eat. I loved it when I woke up the next morning and texted Stacey "Ow." I felt those couple of arm exercises the whole next day.

On Thursday we did legs. I've been thinking about my legs a lot lately. It's an area I really want to concentrate on and I feel like it's not an area that gets much use in Zumba. Stacey had us doing three exercises with two sets for each exercise. Friday morning I texted Stacey "OMG. I can barely move." It was Sunday before I could walk normally again. It. Was. Awesome.

Today we did more arms. We did some bicep curls on a machine and I was surprised how weak I was in that area. We've used those big bouncy balls for crunches. We've passed medicine balls. I've used dumbbells and barbells and hand weights oh my.

So my advice, especially during this post-holiday time that has so many of us struggling ... break out of your comfort zone, try a new class, schedule an appointment with a trainer, find a work out buddy and switch it up!

Still In It

2011-06-27T09:10:00.000-05:00

My kids are at camp and no tears were shed by anyone :)

I was an absolute mess the past few days leading up to dropping the kids off at camp. I was so full of anxiety about making sure I packed everything they needed, telling the kids everything they needed to know and worrying about not knowing for an entire week if they would have fun or not.

And I dealt with that anxiety by eating. It was not a good weekend on the food front and I felt horrible after the last bite of everything I ate. AND, I only went to Zumba once last week.

The good news is once we got to camp yesterday afternoon my anxiety lifted. I saw the smiles on my kids face, remembered how awesome the camp is and how prepared we, as counselors, were to handle any situation that would come up with our campers. My kids are in good hands. I really liked all of their counselors.

How stinkin' cute is my daughter?I love the knee high sock trend that is out right now!

Yes, there may be some homesickness or some things that don't go according to my plans, but what's important is that my kids will have a great time at camp this week and this is just the beginning of so many wonderful memories to come. Gracie, my 6-year-old, is already talking about being a counselor when she gets older.

Gracie on her way up to the girls cabins to find out which cabin she was assigned to.

Jacob, on the way to his Yurt.

Jim and I took Tanner on a walk last night after we visited a pizza buffet. It was really nice to spend time together outside, just the two of us. He's ready to get back on the program as well. Tonight I'll be going to Zumba and my co-worker, Stacey, just asked me if I want to start lifting weights on our lunch hour and I'm super excited to give that a go.

So, this morning as I was walking into work, thinking about what the kids will be doing at camp today and feeling optimistic about a fresh start with my wellness program, while trying to push away any negative self talk, I saw my reflection in the glass door and noticed my collar bones sticking out and I just had to smile.

Yes, the past couple of days have been really bad with the food situation, but the fact remains that I've lost 50 pounds. I'm not going to gain it all back over one weekend. Yes, if I kept up those poor eating habits I would gain it all back, but I'm not going to let that happen.

See - I'm smiling!

Busy Busy Busy

2011-06-22T21:03:00.000-05:00

Just a quick note to let you all know how I'm doing. I've been spending the majority of my time obsessing over the fact that my six- and eight-year-olds will be going to sleepaway camp next week. I'm equal parts excited and terrified. This is the camp that Jim and I worked out in the 90s and we absolutely love the camp. I know the kids will have a wonderful time - they're very independent and don't get homesick when they sleepover at other peoples houses. They've also gone to the YMCA's day camp for the last three summers so they "get" camp. It's just the things that mom's worry about that have my stomach in a knot constantly. Things like: how is Gracie going to take a shower without us there to help her, how is she going to read her mail, will Jacob's allergic reactions to bug bites be a problem and will he remember to change his underwear every day. I've been making packing lists, and lists of things to buy and still have yet to start packing or buying any of it. Life is just so darn busy it's hard to get anything done. We've had parties and Father's Day and 5ks and my birthday and Jim's birthday and well, you all know how it is. So anyway, that's what's been going on with me.

I made it to Zumba on Monday and felt fan-freakin-tastic, but I missed class on Tuesday for Jim's bday dinner and had planned to go tonight until I got a reminder call from the dentist that Jacob and I had appointments tonight. I've been eating ok, not anywhere near where I was during the Shakeology challenge, but I'm still taking my lunch to work and and following the program pretty well during the week. I'm just not getting enough exercise in.

Well, I need to head to bed because I have the day off tomorrow and am going to Cub Scout camp with the kids tomorrow.

This is Gracie at the camp she will be going to next week. We were there a few weeks ago for an alumni event.
Look at that face. She's going to have a blast!

Weigh In and Happy Birthday to Me

2011-06-17T13:16:00.000-05:00

Weigh In Day - June 17
Previous weight - 188.6
Current weight - 188.8
Difference - gain .2 pounds

Total weight lost - 56.2 pounds

Activity
Monday - 2 mile walk

Total lack of activity resulted in slight gain. I ate really well all week, just didn't get enough exercise in to show a loss. I did really enjoy my time with the kids this week though. But, I'm ready to exercise - I've missed it this week and I've been so tired as a result.

Yesterday was my 36th birthday :) The dress above was a present from my parents. You may recognize it as one of the dresses on my list of ones I wanted to buy last week. It's size large. And people, it's so short. I haven't worn an above the knee dress since my Catholic school uniform in grade school. I'm trying to wear it with as much confidence as I can. Baby steps.

Review - 10-Day Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-14T11:05:00.000-05:00

Overall, I was very happy with the results of the challenge. I am going to keep up with the majority of the guidelines I learned from the challenge including:

5-6 small meals per day
at least 90 oz. of water
eating certain types of food at certain times of day
move every day
do other exercise besides Zumba

I am not going to cut out soda entirely (yet) but I am not going to drink more than one a day and will focus on only having one when I really, really want it. I hope to break from this bad habit by the end of the year. I would like to continue with the shakes, but I need to crunch some numbers before I make that commitment.

Here are my general thoughts on what I learned.

I liked the shakes more than I thought I would. I enjoyed the taste more and more each day and really looked forward to drinking them in the morning. I loved how quick and easy it was to eat breakfast and the fact that it kept me full in the morning for about 4 hours. I have no idea what the shakes did for my body, but I figure whatever it did, it wasn't a bad thing.
There are other ways to exercise besides Zumba ;) I exercised all 10 days of the challenge so I was forced to try some additional forms of exercise besides Zumba. I was already taking Tanner for walks, but one night when it got to late too take him out I scrambled to come up with an exercise source and found Exercise TV on my cable's on demand. I will definitely continue with this. I love that I can do a quick 20 minute ab workout on days that I don't Zumba and not feel guilty about not working out.
I love eating little meals throughout the day. Most days my schedule was this - 6 a.m., 10 a.m., 12:30 p.m., 3 p.m., 6:30 p.m., 8:30 p.m. When I was hungry (which wasn't often) it was usually time to eat again. It also meant that I was eating a lot of different food in small portions, which was fun.
Drinking a ton of water got easier every day and I found that I began to crave it. The one downside to drinking so much is the constant need to go to the restroom - especially at night while I'm sleeping. But I know how good drinking water is for me so it's worth it.
Being accountable to a coach that critiques your daily food log is hard. It's hard to lay it all out on the table. For me, it kept my eating clean. I didn't want to disappoint her and even more than that I didn't want to be lectured on poor eating choices, so I made the effort to do everything right. By day 10 I was ready for that part of the challenge to be over (it also takes a lot of time and effort to type all that out). The important thing is that I learned what I needed to learn from her and can do this on my own now.
I was successful at this challenge because I followed the guidelines while also tracking WW points. I think I would have been lost if I didn't know how big my portion sizes should have been. Doing this challenge renewed my belief in tracking. For me, it's the most important part of my diet. It's like having a personal coach without the lectures ;)
I already mentioned it, but the most important thing I learned from this challenge was about what to eat and when. Here, let me break it down for you again:
- Meal 1: Protein + Starchy Carb &/or Simple Carb + Fat
- Meal 2: Protein + Starchy Carb &/or Simple Carb + Fat
- Meal 3: Protein + Starchy Carb &/or Simple Carb + Fat
- Meal 4: Protein + Fibrous Carb + Fat
- Meal 5: Protein + Fibrous Carb + Fat
Following these guidelines made it easier for me to decide what to eat. I really like this formula and I felt great the whole time I was following it. I never felt overfull, overly hungry or lethargic and I'm sure that had to do with what I was putting in my body.

That's it for now. If I have more thoughts I'll continue to share them with you.

Results - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-12T08:24:00.000-05:00

June 12
Ending weight – 187.6
Chest – 39.5 in.
Waist – 35 in.
Hips – 48 in.

June 2
Starting weight - 194.4
Chest – 41 in.
Waist – 38 ¾ in.
Hips – 48 in.

Difference
Weight -6.8 lbs
Chest -1.5 in.
Waist -3 ¾ in.
Hips – no change

I currently have two kids begging for my attention on this Sunday morning so my ending thoughts on the challenge will have to wait until tommorow.

Day 10 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-12T08:11:00.000-05:00

My photo didn't save, but Day 10's weight was 188.8. Up a little again.

Exercise was a walk with Tanner and 20 minute abs.

Here's my Day 10 food log:

I forgot to mark yesterday, that I lost enough weight last week that my daily point total has gone down to 29 pts.

My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 29 pts. I used all 29 pts. today.
I earned 4 Activity Points today and used 4 pt.
(33 pts. total used today)

Water intake – 96 oz.

Exercise – 1 mile walk and 20 minute abs.

Saturday, June 11
Breakfast 8 a.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.) protein

Morning snack 9 a.m.
• Organic Valley Stringles (2 pt.) protein
• 1/4cup grapes (0 pts.) simple carb
• 4 strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
• 2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.) starchy carb
• 1 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (3 pt.) fat

Lunch 2 p.m.
• 1 cup carrots (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• 1 Tbsp. Cedar’s All Natural Hommus Roasted Red Pepper (1 pt.) fat
• 2 eggs (4 pts.) protein
• ¼ cup cheese (3 pts.) protein
• 3 slices oven roasted ham (1 pt.) protein

Afternoon snack 4 p.m.
• 1/2 cup Oikos Organic Greek Yogurt Vanilla (2 pts.) protein
• w/ ¾ cup Kaski Go Lean Crisp Toasted Berry Crumble (4 pt.) starchy carb
• grapes (0 pts.) simple carb

Dinner 8 p.m.
• iceburg lettuce (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• romaine lettuce (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• homemade salsa (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• ½ grilled organic chicken breast (2 pts.) protein
• 1 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (3 pt.) fat

Result post coming up next.

Day 9 - Shakeology Challenge (and shopping)

2011-06-11T16:11:00.000-05:00

Up a little again today.

Yesterday was pretty good. My schedule was a little off. I had a half day of work and went shopping when I got off work and didn't eat lunch until 2 p.m. so I ate a little more than I would have. We went down to our old summer camp that Jim and I and some friends worked out at so I didn't have as much control over what I ate. I stuck to water, salad, veggies and small piece of pork. I avoided the dessert table and biscuits. We stopped at a gas station on the way home and although I was hungry I didn't buy anything.

Here's what I bought at Stein Mart. These two dresses were 50% off.

I tried on a ton of stuff. Here are the things that I like that I hope go on sale soon.

That one flap that is not pulled down really bugs me - this is a high maintance top!

This was actually a really short dress, but I'd wear it as a top.

Exercise yesterday was walking all over camp with my family. I think we decided we're going to send the kids to camp this summer. A lot of our favorite memories are at this place and I'm so excited for my kids to start experiencing their own wonderful memories here.

Day 9 - Walking around Flat Rock River YMCA Camp

Here's my Day 9 log. Just one day left to go.

My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 48 pts. today.
I earned 3 Activity Points today and used 3 pt.
I use 15 Weekly Points today
(48 pts. total used today)

Water intake – 90 oz.

Exercise – 1 mile walk

Friday, June 10
Breakfast 6 a.m.
· Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
· w/ strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
· w/ banana (0 pts.) simple carb
· w/ 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat
· w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.) protein

Morning snack 10 a.m.
· Organic Valley Stringles (2 pt.) protein
· ½ cup grapes (0 pts.) simple carb
· 4 strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
· 2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.) starchy carb
· 2 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (5 pt.) fat

Lunch 2 p.m.
· ½ cup Trader Joe’s Three Cheese Pasta Sauce (2 pts.)
· 6 oz. Trader Joe’s Spaghetti (6 pts.) starchy carb
· 6 Weight Watcher recipe meatballs made with lean ground beef, olive oil, chicken broth, onions and spices and 1 egg. (5 pts.) protein fat

Afternoon snack 4 p.m.
· Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
· w/ strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
· w/ banana (0 pts.) simple carb
· w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.) protein

Dinner
· 1 banana (0 pts.) simple carb
· 1 small piece pork, seasoned (4 pt.) protein
· Salad with tomato and cucumber (0 pts.) fibrous carb
· balsamic vinegar dressing (2 pts. ) fat
· steamed carrots, broccoli and cauliflower 3 pts. fibrous carb

Late Snack 10 p.m.
· 6 slices oven roasted turkey (1 pt.) protein
· 1 cup carrots (0 pts.) fibrous carb
· 3 Tbsp. Cedar’s All Natural Hommus Roasted Red Pepper (2 pt.) fat

Happy Anniversary Little Blog!

2011-06-10T08:54:00.000-05:00

It's been one year since I started my blog :)

Here are the highlights:

I've lost 31.4 lbs. since June 10, 2010!!!
I Zumba'd for 143 hours (yes, I log my all my Zumba hours)
206 blog posts

This year on my blog I:

My Zumba events included:

And this is my favorite post from this year. It made me cry when I read it yesterday

"It Has a Cape, So I'm a Prince!"

But I think this year can best be summed up in photos. So without further ado:

Day 8 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-10T08:32:00.000-05:00

I was up a little bit on Day 8. I'm still six pounds down overall so I'm not upset. I've talked to three girls doing the shakeology challenge this week and they have lost between 1-2 pounds. I credit my six pounds to the fact that I had a gain over the holiday and I have not been eating as healthy as I thought I was. I've learned so much from this challenge.

I had planned to take Tanner on a walk for exercise, but Jim was able to come home early so I headed over to the Y for Lindsay's Zumba class at 8 p.m.

Day 8 - Zumba

I'm keeping this post short because I have an exciting one I'm going to post later today.

Here's my Day 8 log:

My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts. today.
I earned 9 Activity Points today and used 5 pt.
(35 pts. total used today)

FYI – I had 34 extra points left over this week!

Water intake – 96 oz.

Exercise – Lindsay’s 8 p.m. Zumba class

Thursday, June 9
Breakfast 6 a.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
• w/ 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.) protein

Morning snack 10:30 a.m.
• Oikos organic Greek yogurt – chocolate (3 pts.) protein
• ½ cup grapes (0 pts.) simple carb
• 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat

Lunch 1 p.m.
• 2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.) starchy carb
• 6 slices oven roasted turkey (1 pt.) protein
• 1 slice tomato (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• 6 Weight Watcher recipe meatballs made with lean ground beef, olive oil, chicken broth, onions and spices and 1 egg. (5 pts.) protein fat
• 1 cup strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
Afternoon snack 4 p.m.
• Organic Valley Stringles (2 pt.) protein
• 1 banana (0 pts.) simple carb
• 1 cup carrots (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• 2 Tbsp. Cedar’s All Natural Hommus Roasted Red Pepper (1 pt.) fat

Dinner 6 p.m. (before Zumba) (I missed a protein here – didn’t realize it until after Zumba)
• 1 cup couscous (5 pts.) starchy carb
• 1 cup lettuce (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• ½ tomato (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• Geraldine dressing (2 pt.) fat

Post-workout snack 10 p.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.) protein

Day 7 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-09T11:39:00.000-05:00

Day seven and nearly seven pounds down. Things are starting to become routine now. Water is easy. I do miss my Diet Dr. Pepper, but I will continue to not drink it during the challenge.

I want to share my routine for figuring out what I'm going to eat at work.

This week I've been getting up about 30 minutes earlier than normal. I get the kid's clothes picked out and pack their day day camp bags. I sit and drink my shake while I relax a bit and then I go in the kitchen to figure out what I want to take to work.

My strategy has been to make sure I have at least three proteins, one starchy carb, three simple carbs and three fats to cover the three meals I'll have at work. Then I pack a few extra things just in case I want some additional options. Then around 10 a.m. when I'm hungry I grab my lunch bag from the fridge and take it to my office. I open my Weight Watchers Plan Manager and then start deciding what I want to have at each meal. Then I just slide those items over from the list of foods over to the times of day, like so.

"Midday" includes my lunch and afternoon snack

I like having the variety of foods to choose from and then figuring out which meal I want to eat them at.

Here was Geraldine's comment on my Day 7 log:

"Your food log looks great today!"

That made me so happy. It goes back to my desire to receive praise from my teachers :)

I debated my whole commute home (45 minutes) what I was going to do for my exercise on day 7. I really wanted to go to Ashley's Zumba class or Interval Training at the Y, but I left it up to the kids and they didn't want to go to the Y so we went home.

I fed the kids, kept Tanner from chewing up everything in the house and cleaned up the kitchen. I changed into a t-shirt and laced up my shoes waiting for Jim to get home so I could take Tanner for a walk as my exercise. At 8:30 p.m. he called and said he was 40 minutes away. That would be too late for me to go out so I had to think of something. We have AT&T Uverse so I turned on their On Demand to see if they had any exercise videos and they had a ton on their Exercise TV channel.

I quickly looked through the menu and decided on a 20 minute Latin dancing video. It wasn't the same as being in class, but at least I got my heart rate up and broke a sweat.

Since it was only 20 minutes I decided to do another video and this time settled on a abs and back workout.

I actually kind of enjoyed that. I think this might be a great thing for me to do on days that I don't go to Zumba or Interval Training. It will help me switch up my exercise and push my body. I'll definitely look more into the Exercise TV. Do any of you do these videos and have suggestions for me?

Day 7 - Latin Dancing and Abs/Backs

Here's my food log for Day 7:

My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts. today.
I earned 3 Activity Points today and used 1 pt.
(31 pts. total used today)

Water intake – 96 oz.

Exercise – 20 minute latin dance and 20 minute ab and back workout

Wednesday, June 8
Breakfast 6 a.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
• w/ 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.) protein

Morning snack 9:30 a.m.
• Organic Valley Stringles (String Cheese) (2 pt.) protein
• ½ Banana (0 pts.) simple carb
• 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat

Lunch 12:30 p.m.
• 2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.) starchy carb
• 6 slices oven roasted turkey (1 pt.) protein
• 1 slice tomato (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• Dozen grapes (0 pts.) simple carb
• 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat

Afternoon snack 3:30 p.m.
• Oikos organic Greek yogurt – chocolate (3 pts.) protein
• ½ Banana (0 pts.) simple carb
• ½ orange pepper (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• ½ cup cauliflower (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• 2 Tbsp. Cedar’s All Natural Hommus Roasted Red Pepper (1 pt.) fat

Dinner 6 p.m.
• 2 eggs (6 pts.) protein
• ¼ cup cheese (3 pts.) protein
• 6 slices oven roasted ham (2 pt.) protein
• ½ orange pepper (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• 2 cloves garlic (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• ½ cup mushrooms (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• ½ Tbsp. Olive Oil (2 pts.) fat

Day 6 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-08T12:07:00.000-05:00

Chugging right along on Day 6. Six pounds in six days. I'm pretty proud of that. I've been following the plan exactly and it's awesome to see the results. Today I want to share some of the Q&A I've had with Geraldine over the past couple of days.

Stephanie:

One thing I wanted to ask you about is the rapid weight loss that I’m seeing with this challenge which is awesome, but it does concern me. Four days into it and I’m down four pounds. I thought 1-2 pounds lost per week was what was recommended. I understand this is a challenge and it may be ok to have a large loss after 10-days but what if I continue with this program after the 10-days – I won’t still see those big numbers will I? I worry about losing to fast and then putting it back on.

Geraldine:
Hey, 4 pounds so far is great! But I will tell you that the weight loss will slow down as you get used to this kind of eating. You are absolutely right, 1-3 pounds is a good rate of weight loss, but even though it is coming off quick right now, you can keep this off, it is just the initial phase of your body detoxing and getting used to your new, healthier way of eating. It’s just that you are starting to take away some things that have been holding you back, and some of the weight loss will be water as well, that’s just natural. The Shakeology really helps too, but like I said, this initial weight loss is great but the rapid pace will definitely slow down, trust me I’m living proof of that, but it is a much healthier way to eat, so you will still see results, just not this much once your body gets regulated, so no worries! SO, just celebrate those 4 pounds and be excited for more results to come, but don’t worry, you won’t put it back on if you keep up with this healthy lifestyle!

Stephanie:
I would like to know more about the food guidelines. Specifically, I’d like to understand why we eat certain types of food at certain times of the day and why we avoid others at other times of the day.

Geraldine:
Basically, with regards to the food guidelines…most people do not get enough protein in their diets. Protein, as I am sure you know, is the building block of muscle tissue and the more muscle tissue you have, you are not only leaner, but your metabolism is higher even at rest, meaning you burn more calories ALL the time! Besides that, eating a protein at every meal also keeps you satisfied and full longer which keeps you from over-eating. Finally, the reason I say to eat protein in the evening is again, two-fold: any unused protein WILL NOT turn into fat (UNLIKE natural starchy carbs which are grains, etc. and simple carbs which are fruit) and secondly, at night when we sleep is when our body repairs the damage done to muscles which lead to gains in strength and growth, and so having protein in the body in the evening helps with that process.

As I references in the previous paragraph, that is why we time the nutrients: to optimize fat loss … I am not a low-carb fan – your body needs carbs, especially you brain! But I know that the time of day does matter when it comes to losing fat! SO, eating simple carbs and natural starchy carbs earlier in the day allows you to use their calories for energy and to metabolize them properly so you don’t store any of it as fat … whereas fibrous cabrs, aka veggies, do not do that because they are lower on the glycemic index and they will not cause fat loss if unused, therefore making them the prime source of carbs to eat later in the evening. I am also not a fan of low-fat diets as that tends to keep people away from the healthy fat that your body needs … and what most people don’t realize is that your body needs to consume healthy fat to lose body fat! Also, people who are on low fat diets tend to find themselves eating a lot of processed foods labeled low-fat in hopes that they are sticking to their diet, so instead of getting fat they are getting a ton of other chemicals, sugar and other artificial sweeteners and high fructose corn syrup to make up for the loss of fat … not to mention that they tend to be hungrier as well, as fat is another macronutrient that creates the feeling of satiety and fullness … thereby warding off eating too much! A small amount of healthy fat with every meal also helps your body metabolize the other macronutrients, specifically, the carbs, so again, helping your body make better use of the food you’ve eaten!

The eating 5-6 times a day also has a purpose … to rev your metabolism! Your body can better break down the food you’ve eaten if it is in smaller quantities … just like a fire. In order to have a hotter fire, it is necessary to start small and to continue to add kindling (small sticks to get it going). Once you get it going with kindling, the hotter it gets and whatever fuel you add to it will get burned up and used for energy. If you were to just put a huge log on a pretty small flame, it would put it out and you would never get it burned – same goes with our bodies!

______________________________________________

All very interesting, don't you think? I'll need a few days to let all this sink in. I'm not opposed to change, I just need time for the adjustment.

Guess what I made for the first time in my life yesterday? MEATBALLS! Yeah, I've always been too scared to make them but they were super easy. My little Gracie LOVES meatballs so I knew she'd be happy. I wish I would have gotten a photo of her eating them.

Here's what they look liked.

They are a weight watcher recipe - the web site says it's 4 pts. for 6 small meatballs but I uped the number a bit in my food log just in case.

It's been extra hard to get to Zumba this week. Jim has been working every night (I'm not complaining, it's a good thing) and I just have a hard time dragging the kids to child watch when they've been at camp all day long and I feel like they should at least get to see one of their parents for more than an hour a day, right? So, I've been going to a lot of the 8 p.m. Zumba classes since the kids are already in bed by then. So anyway, I went to Lindsay's class last night and it was a lot of fun. All the front row spots were taken by the time I got in the room so I was back in the third or fourth row - which is always nice to switch it up. I like to look around the class and see all the ladies smiling faces, it's really motivating.

Day 6 - Zumba

Here's my Day 6 log:
My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts. today.
I earned 8 Activity Points today and used 3 pts.
(33 pts. total used today)

Water intake – 96 oz.

Exercise – Lindsay’s 8 p.m. Zumba class

Tuesday, June 7
Breakfast 6 a.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.) simple carb
• w/ 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.) protein

Morning snack 9:30 a.m.
• ¼ cup Oikos Organic Greek Yogurt Vanilla (1pt.) protein
• w/ 1/8 cup Kaski Go Lean Crisp Toasted Berry Crumble (1 pt.) starchy carb
• w/ Banana (0 pts.) simple carb
• 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat

Lunch 11:30 a.m.
• Apple (0 pts.) simple carb
• 1 cup Seeds of Change Organic Whole Grain Brown Basmati Rice (6 pts.) starchy carb
• w/ 1/8 cup cheese (1 pt.) protein
• 1 tsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s (1 pt.) fat

Afternoon snack 2:30 p.m.
• ½ Orange pepper (0 pts.) fibrous carb
• 1 Tbsp. Geraldine’s Dressing (1 pt.) fat
• Organic Valley Stringles (String Cheese) (2 pt.) protein

Dinner 6 p.m. (before Zumba)
• ½ cup Trader Joe’s Three Cheese Pasta Sauce (2 pts.)
• 6 oz. Trader Joe’s Spaghetti (6 pts.) starchy carb
• 3 Weight Watcher recipe meatballs made with lean ground beef, olive oil, chicken broth, onions and spices and 1 egg. (4 pts.) protein fat

A Fun Challenge You Can Do

2011-06-08T08:40:00.001-05:00

You all remember my friend Liz right? She's my favorite! Well, for those that don't know read this and this. Liz and I are really close, but only see each other once a year at a conference. We are both super excited to see each other next month and after Liz heard about the challenge I'm doing she wanted in on the fun. We talked it over and decided to do a 50 Days Until Miami Challenge.

Exercise, tracking, water and weekend eating are the areas both of us need some butt-kicking in so we decided to send each other a photo of ourselves pre/post workout and let me tell you, it's only been a couple of days but I love getting those texts with her photo in them. It's motivating and exciting and fun. And it makes me feel closer to her. (Kim, I'd love to do this with you too if you're interested) We're also telling each other how many WW points/calories we're eating every day and she's telling me how many calories she's burned. (I want a heart rate monitor!). It only takes a few seconds to do each day but it's great accountability and did I mention it's fun? Here are a couple of our photos so far.

P.S. - I totally posted this without asking Liz first, but I'm sure she'll be cool with it :)

Day 5 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-07T12:11:00.001-05:00

Half way through the 10-day challenge and I had a breakthrough. I'm finally getting it. I read through all of Geraldine's group e-mails and the ones she had sent to me with feedback on my food logs and it clicked for me. It's all about this:

Meal 1: Protein + Starchy Carb &/or Simple Carb + Fat
Meal 2: Protein + Starchy Carb &/or Simple Carb + Fat
Meal 3: Protein + Starchy Carb &/or Simple Carb + Fat
Meal 4: Protein + Fibrous Carb + Fat
Meal 5: Protein + Fibrous Carb + Fat

Geraldine sent us this meal plan before the challenge started and I did look at it and the list of foods that fall under each category, but I really didn't get it. I was too busy making sure I liked the way the shake tasted and eating only the foods that were on her list. I didn't get that there was a strategy to which foods you eat and when. Now that I'm understanding this more I am going to get some feedback from her on the reasons why.

But here's what I did yesterday. I took all the foods that I liked from each category above and put them in a simple list as you see here below:

Protein – meat, eggs, fish, greek yogurt, cheese, milk, regular yogurt, nuts, nut butters
Fats – almonds, peanuts, peanut butter, olive oil
Starchy Carbs – beans, rice, couscous, bread, corn, cereal, pasta, tortilla
Simple Carbs – fruits
Fibrous Carbs – veggies

Now I just make sure I follow the formula above to figure out what I'm going to eat at each meal.

And how am I doing with that you ask? Still really well. I am really loving eating constantly throughout the day. Before I was eating to the point of being overly full and then being uncomfortable for a few hours when I would be hungry again. Now, I eat and I'm satisfied and when I start to feel hungry again it's time to eat again. I really like it.

Of course I am concerned about getting bored with this meal plan. It seems pretty limited but things are often not what they seem. I need to be daring. For example, last night I added orange peppers to my eggs for dinner and it was awesome. I was worried I wouldn't like it but it added so much flavor.

Half eaten dinner when I decided to take a photo.
Notice the LEGO village in the background that was supposed to be moved to the basement that is still on the kitchen table!

Backing up a little, here's how my evening went ... I had a second shake before Zumba because I was in a hurry, plus it just sounded really good. I was pretty hungry and it hit the spot. Zumba was insane. Zumba is in the gym on Monday and there must not be any air conditioning in there because I was sweating before the class even started. I was dripping sweat after each song. It was almost too much.

Day 5 - Zumba

I was pretty hungry after the kids and I got home, but I wanted to spend some time with Tanner since he had been stuck inside all day. I didn't get around to making my dinner until about 8 p.m. and I was hungry. I made scrambled eggs with orange peppers, salt and pepper, garlic, a little cheese and milk. It was delicious.

I also made Geraldine's recommended salad dressing to use on the rest of the orange pepper. The first bite reminded me of Easter eggs because of the vinegar, but the more I ate it the more I liked it. I could really seem some potential with it on dressing, marinades and for dipping.

The past two days I've felt skinny. My abs seem tighter which I think also goes along with not overeating during meals and begin full. I like this feeling. I remember it and it's so motivating. Yesterday I hit 190 - officially my lowest weight to date. My original goal was to get down to 180 or 175 (I'm 5'6"). I'm so close. It's exciting and scary at the same time.

Here's my day 5 log:
My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts. today.
I earned 10 Activity Points today and used 5 pts.
(35 pts. total used today)

Water intake – 112 oz.

Exercise – Zumba in the Sauna

Monday, June 6
Breakfast 6 a.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.)
• w/ banana (0 pts.)
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.)

Morning snack 9:15 a.m.
• fresh fruit – strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, grapes and pineapple (0 pts.)
• 2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
• w/ 2 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s Knees (5 pts.)

Lunch 11:30 a.m.
• 2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
• 6 slices Oven Roasted Ham (1 pt.)
• Kashi Cherry Dark Chocolate Granola Bar (3 pts.)
• Banana (0 pts.)

Afternoon snack 3:30 p.m.
• Oikos organic Greek yogurt – chocolate (3 pts.)

Preworkout snack 5:30 p.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.)
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.)

Dinner 7:30 p.m.
• 1 tsp. olive oil (1 pt.)
• 2 eggs (4 pts.)
• 2 garlic cloves (0 pts.)
• ½ orange pepper (0 pts.)
• 1 Tbsp. cheese (1 pt.)
• ½ orange pepper and vinegar dressing (1 pt.)

Day 4 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-06T11:39:00.001-05:00

Sunday, Day 4, was a nice, relaxing day. I was a little down because the weekend was coming to a close. I'm having a hard time with school being over. Gracie is now in 1st grade and Jacob in 3rd. They are getting too big. I loved being home with them for a long weekend and that just makes it harder to go back to work. They're at their first day of day camp today and it just makes me a little sad that I can't spend the summer days with them.

Sunday was my first soda free day!!! It's my goal to make it the rest of the challenge without soda. Water isn't an issue anymore. I find myself craving it now. I walked into my office this morning and before I turned on the light I realized I left my water tumbler in my car - I take that as a pretty good sign that I'm aware of my water! I'm also finding that I look forward to my shakes in the morning. I'm really starting to like the taste of them and I'm so glad they are filling.

Yesterday's exercise was another walk. Tanner came along this time, but he got tired out by the end of our walk. At one point he literally laid down in a water puddle.

Poor, hot Tanner

I'm trying to get photos of my exercise every day for the challenge, but it's difficult to take a photo with a puppy!

Day 4 - Walk

This is one of my favorite parts of our walk. Yesterday, when we walked this street we heard the church bells and it was just so quiet and peaceful.

Food was fine yesterday. We had taco salad for dinner and the kids loved it. I'm so proud of Jim and myself that our kids are benefiting from our healthier lifestyles. When we asked them if they wanted taco salads or soft tacos for dinner they both said salad. They both ended up having a taco as well which was a whole wheat tortilla and they gobbled it up. I probably would have turned my nose up to whole wheat anything when I was a kid.

Here is my log for Sunday:
My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts. today.
I earned 3 Activity Points today and used all 3 pts.
I used 8 of my Weekly Points.
(41 pts. total used today)

Water intake – I lost track, but I know I got in at least 112 oz.

Exercise – 1.5 mile walk

Sunday, June 5
Breakfast 9 a.m.
• Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
• w/ strawberries (0 pts.)
• w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.)

Lunch noon
• ½ Tbsp. Olive Oil (2 pts.)
• Mushrooms (0 pts.)
• 1 egg (1 pt.)
• 1 egg white (0 pts.) (I only ate half of the eggs and mushrooms)
• 1/4 cup cheese (2 pt.)
• 1 Wheat tortillas (3 pts.)
• 1 serving Tostitos (7 chips) (4 pts.)
• Salsa (0 pts.)

Afternoon snack 3 p.m.
• 2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
• w. 2 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s Knees (5 pts.)

Pre-walk snack 6 p.m.
• Oikos organic Greek yogurt – chocolate (3 pts.)

Dinner 7 p.m.
• Iceburg and romaine lettuce (0 pts.)
• Salsa (0 pts.)
• 6 oz. 93/7 lean ground beef (6 pts.)
• 1 serving Tostitos (7 chips) (4 pts.)
• 1 Wheat tortillas (3 pts.)

Day 3 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-05T20:40:00.001-05:00

I'm still going strong on my challenge.

Usually, weekends are the hardest for me to make wise choices, but being on this challenge has helped me in that area.

Saturday morning we got up early and I was anxious to get on the scale.

I had a shakeology and then we loaded the family in the Jeep to hit up a few garage sales. It was really hot, so we didn't stay out too long. We came back home, I had a snack and more water and then we headed up north to go to Paw Fest. Indiana Bulldog Rescue had a booth set up and we wanted to bring Tanner to met up with some of his Bullie friends.

Tanner hanging out by the sprinkler.

No ice cream for me (there was an ice cream truck parked in the lot the whole time we were there) but Tanner had some puppy ice cream. He didn't like it - you can tell he's adopted!

Aren't Bulldogs so cute!

Tanner was wet so I was stuck riding in the back on the way home.

Everyone was hungry by the time we left. There was a Ralley's right next door and we walked over and Jim and the kids got burgers and fries. I had some water and knew I would be ok until we got home and I could have a healthy snack. I was very aware of the fact that had I not been on this challenge I WOULD have had ice cream and burgers and fries while I was there and not thought much of it. I hadn't realized how much my discipline had dwindled away these past several months.

When we got home I had a serving of almonds and a banana. I still needed to get some exercise in for the day and wanted to go for a walk, but I was worried my walking buddy, Tanner, would be too tired to go. I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk and he jumped up and I put his leash on and we headed outside. We made it about five houses down and he plopped down under a tree. Poor guy.

I took a quick photo of us and then walked him back home.

I went back out and finished my walk, took a quick shower and then met up at a girlfriends house for a girls night. It was a great evening, but I did partake in some mindless eating of chips and salsa and cheese and crackers that made me unhappy later. The damage wasn't too bad - I have the weekly points for them, I just was disappointed I didn't have more control.

Here's my log for Day 3:

My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts. today.
I earned 3 Activity Points today and used all 7 pts. that were in my bank.
I used 13 of my Weekly Points.
(50 pts. total used today)

Water intake – 114 oz.

Exercise – 1 mile walk

Saturday, June 4
Breakfast 8 a.m.
Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
w/ banana (0 pts.)
w/ strawberries (0 pts.)
w/ 1 cup skim milk (2 pts.)

Morning Snack 11 a.m.
2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
w/ 2 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s Knees (5 pts.)

Lunch 2 p.m.
Salad
iceburg and romaine lettuce (0 pts.)
cherry tomatoes (0 pts.)
2 Tbsp. Annie's Lite Raspberry Vinaigrette (1pt.)
1 serving turkey (1 pt.)
1/2 can Diet Dr. Pepper (I’m going to try and cut out soda the rest of the challenge. This will be very difficult for me.)

Afternoon snack 4 p.m.
1 serving (1/4 cup) Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds – Dark Chocolate (4 pts.)
banana (0 pts.)

Dinner 6 p.m.
2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
w/ 1 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s Knees (3 pts.)
Trader Joe's organic reduced sugar strawberry preserves (1 pt.)

Girls Night
1 skinny girl margarita's (1 pt.)
fresh fruit – organic strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, grapes and pineapple (0 pts.)
cheese and crackers (I think they were Club crackers and Colby) I’m guessing I had six of these (12 pts.)
homemade salsa – peppers, canned tomatoes (no salt or sugar added), lime juice, onions, cilantro (0 pts.)
Tostitos tortilla chips – 3 servings (12 pts.)

Day 2 - Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-04T15:10:00.002-05:00

I had another good day yesterday. It was the kid's last day of school so I had taken the day off since they would be getting out early. I dropped them off at 7:15 a.m. and finished my shake as I pulled back into the garage. I liked the shake a lot better yesterday when I used skim milk instead of water.

I decide to go to Geraldine's Zumba class at 8:15 a.m. but she was sick so Lindsay was subbing for her. I was pretty tired and sore since I had just done two hours of Zumba 12 hours before. I was glad to get my workout down early though and then I headed to the school to pick up the kids.

Day 2 - Zumba

I felt a little self-conscience decked out in my workout clothes and sweatiness while surrounded by all the mom's that were dressed nicely. But I got over when I saw the kids running out excited to start summer.

The rest of the day consisted of hanging out at the YMCA pool for a few hours, meeting up with some friends and sitting in my driveway with a good friend while our kids played in the basement.

I did get a response from Geraldine about my Day 1 log. Overall, she seemed pretty pleased with my activity and choices. She would like to see me incorporate some new activity besides just Zumba. She had some suggestions for homemade salad dressing and knocked me for my two Diet Dr. Peppers (not surprisingly).

Gracie had asked if we could go to Outback for dinner (Jim was at a golf outing all day/evening) and I said sure. I texted Geraldine for her suggestions which I took. I told the waiter to leave the bread off the table and I ordered the salmon and veggies without butter. It was really good and filled me up just fine. Usually I would have had bread and a salad too, but I didn't even miss it.

It did take some willpower to not eat off the kids plates, but I managed.

So far I haven't had any issues with hunger. Eating a little bit every few hours really seems to work for me. I was pleased to see I was down .6 lbs. on the morning of Day 2.

UPDATE - I thought I included this photo in my original post, but it looks like it didn't save.

Here is my Day 2 log:

My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts. today.
I earned 9 Activity Points today and used 5 pts.

Water intake – 96 oz.

Exercise – Lindsay's 8:15 a.m. Zumba class

Friday, June 3
Breakfast 7:30 a.m.

Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
w/ banana (0 pts.)
w/ strawberries (0 pts.)
w/ 1 cup Skim milk (2 pts.)

Morning Snack 10 a.m.
2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
w/ 2 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s Knees (5 pts.)

Lunch 12:30 p.m.
2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
6 slices Oven Roasted Ham (1 pt.)
Kashi Cherry Dark Chocolate Granola Bar (3 pts.)

Afternoon snack 3 p.m.
banana
1 serving Whole Grain Rotini (5 pts.)
½ serving Trader Joe’s Three Cheese Pasta Sauce (1 pt.)
Diet Dr. Pepper

Dinner 7 p.m.
Outback Salmon w/o butter (9 pts.)
Outback veggies w/o butter (1 pt.)

Day 1- Shakeology Challenge

2011-06-03T10:07:00.000-05:00

Well, Day 1 was great, as you would expect any Day 1 to be. Motivation is high, confidence in strong. It was a great day.

In preparation of Day 1, I went to Kroger on Wednesday night after we got home from Mary's graduation. I stuck to the outer aisles of the grocery store and loaded up with food that was good for the whole family. I actually felt pretty good about this trip, having been educating myself on healthy eating these past couple of years, my grocery cart contents didn't look all that much different than they would on any other day.

While I was waiting in line for about 10 minutes in the one check-out lane that was open, I noticed an employee getting ready to open another register. Since I was the next person in line, I got ready for her to make her announcement (which she DID) that she would help the next person in line. As I started moving my cart, this guy walked in front of me without a cart or groceries and called for his buddy to get in line. Now, a few years ago I would have just let him go ahead of me, but not the person I am now. We must follow rules people. I promptly moved my cart past him and started putting my groceries on the belt. The guys says to me in his best sarcastic voice "well, go ahead then." I calmly turned towards him, looked him in the eye and smiled my biggest smile and in a sweet voice said "she said she would help the next person in line." I smiled again and kept looking at him and he muttered "oh."

Mean people suck.

So anyway, let's get to the recap.

I woke up Thursday morning and braced myself for my first weigh-in. I had not been eating well or exercising much since the holiday weekend so I knew the numbers wouldn't be great.

My starting challenge weight. 194.4

As I shared in yesterday's post, I experienced my first Shakeology shake.

I knew I wanted to have a turkey sandwich for lunch, but hadn't planned much more than that since it was a late night. So my strategy was just to take a bunch of food with me to work so I was prepared for anything.

My bag of goodies for work.

Like I said yesterday, the shake kept me full until 10 a.m. which was perfect keeping with the 5 or 6 small meals a day. I went to the kitchen at my office to figure out what I wanted for a snack and saw this when I walked in the door.

I just smiled and opened the fridge door. There was nothing in that Panera box that could shake my Day 1 confidence. I settled on an orange pepper and low-fat Ranch dressing for my snack.

I was really busy at work yesterday preparing for having Friday (today) off, so I actually ate my lunch and afternoon snacks later than I usually do, but I wasn't hungry which was good and also a welcome change. I'm sure it's because of the excitement of the challenge, but also because I was loading up on more filling foods than I have been lately.

The hardest part of yesterday for me was this.

It's not that I dislike water, it's just that it's so much water. I'm not used to drinking that much of any liquid in one day. It will take some getting used to. I figured out that top green line on my Starbucks tumbler is 16 oz. I had four, 16 oz. servings while I was at work and then two more 16 oz. servings while I was at Zumba last night. I also had my shake in the morning and two cans of Diet Dr. Pepper. That's a lot of liquids and a lot of walks to the restroom. I'll get used to it though. I know how good it is for me.

While I was eating my lunch at my desk and working on yesterday's blog post, I had a little ah ha moment. As I entered my 6 pt. lunch into the weight watcher plan manager I said to myself "this is how I lost weight." Seriously, how soon we forget. I have been eating out at lunch almost everyday for the past several months. Most of my fast food/restaurant lunches are at least 14 pts. No wonder I would be so discouraged when I got home and didn't have many points left for snacks or dinner.

I was talking to some of the girls at Zumba last night about this. When I was consistently losing it was when I would take my lunch to work and blogging on my lunch hour. It really is all connected. I'm excited to be doing this all again.

Speaking of Zumba, I decided to do back-to-back classes last night. I took Stephanie's class at 7 p.m., ate a granola bar during her cool-down and then took Lindsay's class at 8 p.m. It felt great and I felt strong. Talking in the hall before both classes I found out that two of my classmates were also doing the 10-day challenge right now, so of course I had to get a photo of all of us together.

Karen, me and Greta before Lindsay's class

I got home from working out and knew I need to eat again. I ended up eating some scrambled eggs with mushroom and cheese. I was exhausted.

I sent my daily challenge log to Geraldine, took a shower and hit the hay. Here are the details of my Day 1 for those interested.

My daily Weight Watchers PointPlus target is 30 pts. I used all 30 pts.

pts.

Water intake – 96 oz.

Exercise – Stephanie’s 7 p.m. Zumba class and Lindsay’s 8 p.m. Zumba class

Thursday, June 2

Breakfast 7a.m.

Chocolate Shakeology (4 pts.)
w/ banana (0 pts.)
w/ 1 Tbsp. Peanut Butter & Co. The Bee’s Knees (3 pts.)

Morning Snack 10 a.m.

½ orange pepper (0 pts.)
2 Tbsp. Light Ranch dressing (2 pts.)

Lunch 12:30 p.m.

2 slices low fat wheat bread (2 pts.)
6 slices Oven Roasted Turkey Breast (1 pt.)
1 slice tomato (0 pts.)
3 large strawberries (0 pts.)
Kashi Cherry Dark Chocolate Granola Bar (3 pts.)
Diet Dr. Pepper

Afternoon snack 3 p.m.

Banana
½ orange pepper (0 pts.)
2 Tbsp. Light Ranch dressing (2 pts.)
6 slices Oven Roasted Turkey Breast (1 pt.)

Pre-work out meal 6 p.m.

1 serving Whole Grain Rotini (5 pts.)
½ serving Trader Joe’s Three Cheese Pasta Sauce (1 pt.)

Snack between Zumba classes 8 p.m.

Kashi Cherry Dark Chocolate Granola Bar (3 pts.)

Post-work out meal 9:30 p.m.

1 Tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil (4 pts.)
Mushrooms (0 pts.)
3 Eggs (6 pts.)
¼ cup cheese (3 pts.)
Salt and pepper to taste
Diet Dr. Pepper

Starting weight - 194.4

Chest – 41 in.
Waist – 38 ¾ in.

Hips – 48 in.

Green B.E.A.N. Delivery and My First Shake

2011-06-02T12:24:00.000-05:00

I've had my eye on Green B.E.A.N. Delivery, but like most things, the cost has kept me away.

Enter GROUPON. Hurray for GROUPON!!!

Green B.E.A.N. Delivery: "Networked with the best local farmers and artisans, Green B.E.A.N. Delivery is proud to provide home delivery of organic produce & natural groceries to the Indianapolis area."

My co-worker Ali (hi Ali!) told me about this home delivery service which she uses and I spent some time checking out their web page. Once I saw that there was a groupon for $35 worth of products for only $15 I knew it was my chance to try them out.

I chose the fruit bin since that's the our produce of choice at home. The regular price for the fruit bin is $42. I was afraid to have the fruit sit out at my house all day while we were at work so I had it delivered to my office instead.

I was so excited when I got the call yesterday afternoon that the delivery guy was there. I took him into the kitchen so he could drop off the huge green bin. I thought he was going to unload it there and take the bin with him, but I quickly discovered that the bin stays with me and they pick it up the next time they deliver.

I took these photos when I got home.

After I said bye to the delivery guy, I opened the lid to see what goodies I got. I saw that inside the bin was a Styrofoam cooler and inside that was a big ice pack. So that solves my problem of having it delivered at home - it will stay cool until I get home from work.

Here's what was inside.

1 pineapple
32 oz. strawberries
1 ear of corn
2 apples
1 orange
2 peaches
1 apricot
½ pint berries
2 kiwi
6 oz blueberries
1 lb. grapes
Package sundried tomatoes
3 lbs. bananas

I figure that the price is pretty fair when you factor in delivery charges and the price for organic and/or local produce. A huge benefit for me is the time savings. Any parent of small children knows how valuable their time is and how disastrous taking hungry, tired, cranky ~~kids~~ mom to the store can be.

I had a banana right when I got the bin and it was the best tasting banana I've ever had - not sure why - might have been because it was chilled. So far I've had and apple and strawberries. Both were pretty good.

The loot

So, Jim and I need to figure out if this is something we want to continue with. It will depend on the quality of the produce and I do want to get an accurate cost comparison at my local Kroger to see what the price difference is. I'll keep you posted.

So the challenge started today. I'll have a Day 1 recap either tonight or more likely tomorrow. It's been smooth sailing so far. I had my first shake this morning.

My shakes came in the mail yesterday.

I decided to try out the Chocolate Banana Nutter recipe which consisted of the chocolate shakeology, ice, 1 Tbsp. natural peanut butter, 1 banana and 1 cup of water.

I was secretly hoping that the shakes would taste like something straight from the Dairy Queen drive-thru, but I should of known better.

It wasn't bad. As I was drinking it on the way to work I was trying to think of how I would describe it here on my blog. The words that kept coming to mind were "strong," "rich" and "aftertaste." It tasted like it was a shake full of good things for you that was trying to cover the taste of those good things with a strong chocolate flavor - which makes sense. I was happy it wasn't gritty or chunky. It definitely has to be cold. The banana and peanut butter combo was ok, but I think I'll like some of the other recipes better. I'll keep trying.

The good news is that it filled me up and kept me full from 7 a.m. until I had a snack at 10 a.m. Which I can't say the same about the fruit smoothies I've been making recently. I would mix a strawberry, banana, water smoothie to drink on my way to work and would be ravenous by 9 a.m. and would have to have a snack early.

So there you have it. Not a bad start. Check back later for all the Day 1 details.

P.S.

Last night my niece Mary (Jim's sister's daughter) graduated from 8th grade. It was a wonderful evening of watching her go up time-after-time to receive awards and scholarships for all her hard work. She was top of her class and gave the closing speech. I remember the day she was born and look forward to watching her accomplish all the goals she makes for herself in the future.

Me and Mary at the graduation reception

Jumping in the Deep End

2011-06-01T15:21:00.001-05:00

I have been treading water the past several months. Staying just aware enough to keep an eye on what I eat and make sure I exercise about three times a week. The result has been being stuck in the 190s since the end of October. I've managed to get down to 190.4 but the pattern has been I lose a little, gain a little. Luckily, I've done more losing than gaining. But I miss the days of being confident in my behaviors enough to know that every week when I stepped on the scale I would have a loss. That's where my head was last July through October. Back in July I had a goal to get to onderland by my October anniversary and I was 100% in the game. I want to be there again. I've had good-hearted attempts the last several months that have resulted in the scale getting down to the lower end of the 190s but I'm want to get back to the weekly confidence. So here's how I'm going to do it.

I'm doing a 10-day Shakeology Challenge!

So, if you know me at all, that statement above will have surprised you.

I'm not into shakes and powders and energy drinks. I've never believed they work like people say they do. To say I'm skeptical is an understatement. When I drink a Redbull I don't see any difference. Now, that may all be in my head, but all I can think about is I wasted my money on this Redbull and I'm still sleepy.

So why am I doing this? Reread that first paragraph and that's the main reason. I need a challenge. I need to push myself and prove that I can accomplish my goals. Yes, the challenge includes drinking one Shakeology a day (more on that in future posts) and paying for the shakes (enter my skeptical nature) but it also demands daily exercise, eating 5-6 small healthy meals a day, drinking at least 80 oz of water a day and checking in with my coach daily. I am not doing ANY of those things now.

This is me - when I commit to something like this, I go all in. I will do each of those things EVERY SINGLE DAY. And now that I've typed that on here you can be dang sure I'm going to do it.

This is my jump start. So honestly, I don't really care if the shakes do anything or not. It's the whole package that I need. Yes, the cost was what kept me from doing this in the past, but when I factored in that I was NOT going to be eating fast food for breakfast and/or lunch during this challenge, that I would make that money up.

Another reason I decided to do this now is because I finally got a Magic Bullet.

But wait there's more ...

I got a Magic Bullet at a garage sale for $3.

The lady had it marked for $5 and I asked her why she was selling it and she said she was too lazy to use it and she only used it a couple of times. Then my awesome husband haggled her down to $3. So that's a $57 savings right there. (See what I did there? This is how I justify spending money. My husband loves this about me - insert sarcasm). So I've been using the bullet every day and we were already spending a ton of $ on fruit every week and my new smoothy habit has already added to that budget so I figure a shakeology a day is going to save some of that fruit budget in the end. [JUSTIFIED]

And the final reason I'm doing this challenge is because my Zumba instructor is leading it and if there's one thing I know about Geraldine is that she's trustworthy. She's never once asked me to try Shakeology or pushed the product on me. Which makes me trust her even more (I think I realize I have a trust issue after typing all this).

Me and Geraldine!

So I stopped worrying and debating and I sent Geraldine this message "Ok, I want in on your next 10-day challenge. Please send me the dates, cost and details. Thanks!"

I jumped in the deep end ... I'm done treading water!

Part of my commitment to this challenge is I'm going to blog all 10 days of the challenge. So watch out for more posts about the challenge and how I'm doing with it. I also talked to Geraldine about that fact that I was going to blog about this challenge and she was totally supportive of that - she told me to share whatever I want about the challenge. If your curious about what Shakeology is, you can check out the web page here. But the boilerplate version is this - "Shakeology is a patent-pending nutritional protein shake that provides a wide spectrum of healthy nutrients in a low-calorie formula. Whether you use it as a meal replacement for weight loss or simply to ensure your body gets all the nutrients it needs for optimal health, Shakeology takes the guesswork out of nutrition." Shakeology is available exclusively through the Beachbody Coach Network (think P90X).

If you have any questions for Geraldine you can contact her here. You'll here more about Geraldine over the next 10 days. But here are few post here, here and here about the Zumba classes I take with her.

Challenge starts tomorrow!

P.S.
I keep forgeting to acknowledge this blog award I received from the fabulous Whitney at Getting Healthy. Thanks Whitney! I recently shared a few of my favorite bloggers in this post.

Weigh In and My Favorite Blogs

2011-05-27T08:40:00.000-05:00

Weigh In Day - May 27
Previous weight - 194
Current weight - 191.8
Difference - 2.2 pounds (still need to lose 1.4 lbs to get to 5/6/11 weight)

Total weight lost 53.2 pounds

Activity
Sunday - Stair climbing - (60 min.) (this was just in my basement, but I went up and down those stairs a million times)
Monday - Zumba (60 min.)
Monday - Interval Training (60 min.)
Wednesday - Zumba (60 min.)

I think this top is cute, but it's not doing anything for me by hiding my thinnest area - oh well, it was clean!

I'm finally getting some of these extra pounds off. My body hasn't felt right the last few weeks. I've been bloated and my stomach hasn't been feeling well. I'm starting to feel better and at the same time the scale is going down. I put on my rings this morning and a lot of the swelling was down. I guess it was just one of those things I had to work through.

I wanted to share three of my favorite blogs I'm reading right now. These are the three that I read first when I see they have a new post on my Google Reader.

Back to Her Roots - Cassie is a Hoosier like me, so bonus points right there. My favorite things about her blogposts are her recommendations. So far I've made her Garden Onion Burgers, purchased Bondie Bands for my weirdly shaped head, and started using TeuxDeux to get my life organized. Next on my TeuxDeux list is Cassie's recommended Jump Bag to prepare my family for all these tornado warnings we have every spring.
Enjoying the Small Things - Kelle's blog isn't wellness related, but it is all about life and appreciating every day that we have on this earth and spending it with the people we love the most. My favorite thing about Kelle's blogposts are her gorgeous photographs and her talent for storytelling.
Running off the Reese's - Now this blog is just fun! Cely has a great sense of humor and I crack up at her multiple daily posts. My favorite thing about Cely's blogposts are the hilarious photo captions she writes on the photos she posts - usually of celebrities. I also found out about the free, photo-editing web site Picnik from her blog.

Ramblings

2011-05-20T09:36:00.000-05:00

Whenever I'm away from my blog too long I always put off posting even longer because I have so much I want to talk about and I feel like I need a lot of time to devote to writing. So, instead of doing that I'm just going to write some random bullets about what's up with me and what I'm thinking about these days ...

It's so predictable, but I'm one of those bloggers that stays away when I have a gain. I don't want to disappoint my readers by posting a gain. It makes me feel sad and like a failure. I know we all have our struggles and I should just get over myself and do what's best for my program and what's best is to keep blogging. It helps me so much.
I'm up to 194 and some change. I was 190.4 two weeks ago. I haven't been tracking consistently enough to know what my trouble areas are, but I feel like I shouldn't have gained that much weight over the past two weeks.
I've been in a Zumba funk lately. It's so scary to type that. I think it's just a little boredom setting in after having exclusively Zumba'd the last couple of years.
So when my friend Stacey said she was going to try out a interval training class at the YMCA, I jumped at the chance to join her. I went to Zumba at 6 p.m. on Wednesday and then met up with Stacey at 7 p.m. for the interval training class. The first 30 minutes were step and the last 30 minutes were weights and resistance bands. We both really liked it. It seemed like a moderate level class and the instructor was a lot of fun and made us feel welcomed.
When I grabbed a step for the circuit training class, I had a flashback to when I started exercising and how I didn't even start with a step, I just did the moves on the floor so that I could try and make it through the whole class. On Wednesday, I was proud of the fact that I killed the 30 minute step portion on a regular step, especially since I had already done 60 minutes of Zumba.
Holy sore abs! I was talking to Stacey this morning (two days after class) and she said "how are you feeling?" with a sly look on her face and I said "I'm in so much pain." Both of us said our abs and legs were sore.
It's amazing how when you do a different type of exercise that works areas of your body that you're not used to working, your body will show you that you're really not in as good as shape as you think.
I had some major self esteem issues last night. I went to Zumba and wore my new Zumba pants (that I've washed now) and three songs into the class, my pants were falling down my bottom. Luckily, I had on a long shirt, but there was no way I could make it through the class worrying about wardrobe malfunctions, so I went home defeated. I didn't want to be all grouchy the rest of the night so I changed clothes and went to the 8 p.m Zumba class. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror during class. Whenever I would get a glimpse of myself I would cringe and see every roll and giggly part and it was all I could do to make it through class without crying. But I stuck it out and completed the class and felt better for it.
Jacob's First Communion was last Saturday and I wore my new dress. Now, totally unlike the above bullet, I felt so beautiful this day. I was proud of how I looked and excited to be wearing the dress! (and super proud of Jacob of course)

Me and Jacob

My beautiful family

My eating has been my weakness lately (mostly portion sizes) but I have had some things to be proud of: after talking my mom out of eating cookies she was being tempted with at work, I proceeded to take a Jimmy Johns cookie from my office break room, sneak it to my office and start eating the edges from it. I got to the middle of the cookie, which I was saving for last because it's the best part and I stopped for the split second that I needed and said - "what the heck am I doing" and without thinking I just threw it in the trash can. I threw that thing away like it was on fire.
My dog thinks he's a cat

This made me so stinking happy

as did this

I can't really top Ron Swanson dancing so I'll end for now.

It's Always Diet and Exercise

2011-05-11T12:26:00.000-05:00

Conversation I overheard in the lobby of my office building:

Man #1: You've lost weight haven't you?

Man #2: Yeah, I have!

Man #1: What have you been doing? .... (insert chuckle) and don't tell me diet and exercise ...

I just smiled as I walked past them, the last two years flashing before my eyes.

IT'S ALWAYS DIET AND EXERCISE. ALWAYS.

I felt like I was in on the secret with guy #2 - I think once this clicks for you, that you realize that you have to put in the work to actually see results and you prove to yourself you CAN do it, it gets so much easier from there.

I Can't Believe This Is Me

2011-05-10T12:31:00.000-05:00

I tried on and bought this dress today. I tried it on and looked in the mirror. I snapped a few photos with my phone and looked in the mirror again. Then I looked at the photo I took on my phone. It was not registering that it was me. I cannot believe this is me. Then I teared up and then I started sobbing and had to sit down. I muffled my cries as best I could since there were other ladies in the dressing rooms. It's still unreal to me. I still think I look like this.

Weigh in and NSV

2011-05-06T16:21:00.000-05:00

Weigh In Day - April 22
Previous weight - 191.2
Current weight - 190.4
Difference - lost .8 pounds

Total weight lost 54.6 pounds

Activity - week of April 30
Saturday -Walk (1.75 miles)
Sunday -Walk (1.75 miles)
Monday - Zumba (60 min.)
Wednesday - Zumba (60 min.)

and last week's activity for good measure:
Activity - week of April 23
Saturday - Zumba (120 min.)
Monday - Zumba (60 min.)
Tuesday - Zumba (60 min.)
Wednesday -Zumba (60 min.)
I don't remember which days I walked Tanner that week

NSV

That, my friends, is my first pair of Zumba pants. I never bothered ordering them before (for one, they are ridiculously expensive) but two because I knew they wouldn't fit. I ordered these last week after reading they were supposed to be roomier. I held my breath as I slid them on and was so excited that they fit! I wore them to Ashley's class on Wednesday, and although I don't look perfect in them, I'm pretty happy with the progress I've made. I asked Jacob to take a photo of me and I posted it on Facebook and had so many nice messages from my family and friends on how they look.

Harry Potter Birthday Party Scavenger Hunt

2011-05-05T17:05:00.001-05:00

Even Death Eaters have to do their math homework.

Not wellness related at all, but I have to share the super fun birthday party we had for Jacob last weekend. I'm not going to lie, I love (LOVE) that my son wanted to have a Harry Potter birthday party. When Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was published in 1997 and I found out that my co-worker had gone out at midnight to buy it and then spent the next two days devouring the book any free moment she had, well, I promptly made fun of her for reading a children's book.

She gave me Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and told me to just read it already. I then proceeded to read all seven books back-to-back and it was so freaking awesome. Love it!

So Jacob went through all the appropriate boy stages: Thomas the Train, Scooby Doo, Cars, Transformers (ugh), Star Wars and then last summer I gave him my copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I like to think it was the book (and not the Harry Potter Lego Wii game) that made Jacob fall in love with all things Harry Potter. He's currently reading book five - Order of the Phoenix.

Jacob has known for a long time that he wanted to have a Harry Potter theme at his 8th birthday party (squee) and as no surprise, I waited until the last minute to plan it.

I spent some time online looking for ideas and was kicking myself when I saw cute things like stuff owl displays and homemade signs.

I took a deep breath and decided that Jacob's party would be awesome even if I didn't have hand-sewn house banners hanging on the walls. I did some additional research and decided to do a couple of special things for his party: make butterbeer and do a scavenger hunt.

I'm making the butterbeer while Jacob opens his presents.

The butterbeer was easy. I found the recipe online. The ingredients consisted of cream soda, butterscotch sundae topping and Reddi Whip. Of the 10 kids, only two of them liked it, but what's important was that it was awesome. It was butterbeer for crying out loud.

Butterbeer and Slytherin Cake = awesome

Butterbeer mustache

Wait a second. Did you all catch that cake?

How awesome is that cake!!! My sister-in-law, Stephanie, made it. (Yes, my husband has a sister named Stephanie.)

Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself. So let's back up about three weeks, when Jacob keeps reminding me that we need to go to the party supply store and get his HP decorations. That turns into me waiting until three days before the party. I drag both kids to Party City or whatever it's called and we walk down the kid aisle - we see Star Wars and Transformers and that Justin Bieber kid and Twilight. Huh, we must have missed the Harry Potter section. Another walk back down the aisle and we still can't find it. I go up and ask the employee filling balloons where I can find their Harry Potter section and she says they don't have one. What? What?

Crap.

Jacob looks like he's going to burst into tears.

Quick mom thinking and I tell him that it's ok, we'll make our own decorations.

So I printed off HP lego figures and we spend the next night cutting them up and taping them around the kitchen. Jacob's favorite house is Slytherin (I'm not sure why, because my Jacob is a super sweetheart and Slytherin is so evil.) So I bought green and silver (not black, as Jacob pointed out to me) balloons, table cover and wrapping paper.

I also, forgot to buy Harry Potter t-shirts for the kids online like I had planned too, but luckily Jim found some at Walmart.

Gracie has posing down to a science. She looks super cute in her Harry Potter shirt and jean skirt doesn't she?
She ended up bailing on the party and went to a movie with a friend.

Makeshift Harry Potter wrapping paper. (surely Tanner was trying to figure out how to chew apart the present down there at the bottom of the photo)

So it was time for Jacob's guests to arrive.

Welcome to Hogwarts!

Jim borrowed a buddies Hagrid costume. It was my favorite.

I was happy to see a few of the boys dressed up.

Jacob and his best friend. Representing Slytherin and Gryffindor.

The boys scarfed down some Little Ceasers.

Notice Jacob has changed into his Death Eater costume. I don't think I even saw him in his new Harry Potter t-shirt.

And then it was time for the Scavenger Hunt.

I was really, really excited about the Scavenger Hunt. No really. Here's why.

Because I created it myself.

Because there WERE ABSOLUTELY NO EXAMPLES ONLINE FOR ME TO COPY!!!

I was so frustrated about that. I searched for a good hour trying to find rhyming clues I could use for a scavenger hunt and nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I finally came to the realization that I was going to have to make the clues myself and was freaked out a bit. But I rallied. It was actually easier than I thought. I figured out what rooms I wanted clues in and how I wanted to tie the location into something about Harry Potter and then I picked a word I wanted to rhyme and then the clues pretty much wrote themselves.

I broke the kids into four teams (the four Hogwarts houses) and they each had their own set of clues to find (see a sample in the jewelry box photo below).

Since I'm sure there are other mom's like me that are procrastinators, but still want their kids to have the most awesome birthday party ever, I'm going to share my clues with all of you on the internets.

Here they are, with some accompanying photos.

When accepted to Hogwarts
An owl brought the news to Harry
Find your next clue in a small box outside
Where a mailman does carry
Answer: Mailbox

Look for your next clue behind Jacob’s house
In a place that kind of looks like Haggrid’s Hut
But beware of the fierce creature named Tanner
For he may knock you on your butt
Answer: Shed

This was Jacob's favorite clue because it said "butt"

Ron and Harry were attacked
by the Whomping Willow
Look out the front window
Where would you find a squirrel with a pillow?
Answer: Tree in the front yard

Harry and Ron had a battle
in this room with a troll
When you’re in this place
let’s hope you have a toilet roll
Answer: Bathroom

In Jacob’s room
you’ll find your next lead
It’s in the place where you’d find
What Hermione likes to read
Answer: Bookcase

The Great Hall
Is where the students like to eat
Your next clue is where
Jacob eats meat
Answer: Kitchen table

No time for pictures Mom, we need to find the next clue.

They didn’t have computers at Hogwarts
They never looked at the screen
Look for your clue here
The giant desk is actually clean
Answer: Computer Room desk

Hermione and Jenny and Fleur
All wore fancy dresses to the ball
Where would Jacob’s sister hang her dress
Here’s a hint, it’s a room down the hall
Answer: Gracie's closet

Your next clued can be found
inside, by a tank
Where mermaids might live
And where fish food has sank
Answer: Fish Tank

One of Voldomort’s horcruxes
was sealed in a beautiful ring
If Jacob’s mom had such a gem
Where would she store this bling?
Answer: Jewelry box

Quidditch is a game at Hogwarts
Where Harry has much luck
Find your next clue downstairs
Near a game with a puck
Answer: Hockey Table

And this was the final clue:

When going to the Griffendoor house
The fat lady did sing
When you came to the party
What did you ring?
Answer: Door Bell

When they got to the doorbell, this message was taped next to it:

Congratulations!
You’ve completed the
Harry Potter Scavenger Hunt.
Ring the doorbell
and receive your reward.

I got a dozen of those medals at Walmart for a buck. The boys thought they were cool.

The hunt was done in ten minutes which made me a little sad considering all the time it took me to put it together, but the boys really had a lot of fun doing it.

I knew it was all worth it when a few days later I saw Jacob writing his own clues for Gracie for a scavenger hunt he made up for her. It was really cute.

After the hunt we did presents, cake and butterbeer and then sent the boys downstairs to play. Man, I thought little girls were loud, but those 10 boys were LOUD. A few boys went home around 10 p.m. and the rest of the boys spent the night.

I think he liked it!

Gracie came home from the movie and her and her little friend were playing downstairs with the boys while Jim and I were talking to her dad upstairs. When I went down to check and see how the movie was going (my attempt to settle them down) Gracie's friend had fallen asleep, so we just let her sleepover too.

Jim took over night duty like he normally does and I went to bed. I got up the next morning before anyone was up and ran and got some donuts. We never have donuts so this was a special treat.

My best Mom-slumber party tip is this: start gathering the kids clothes, bags and sleeping stuff well before the parents are scheduled to pick up the kids and have it all organized by the front door. It's a process, believe me.

Overall, I consider the party a success. Jacob sure seemed to have fun as did the other boys.

Baxter YMCA Zumba for All

2011-05-04T12:32:00.000-05:00

April 23 marked the 2nd annual Baxter YMCA Zumba for All fundraiser. Here's my favorite photo of the day.

me and Stacey

This is my good friend, Stacey, who joined my Y a few months ago and has been keeping me company at Zumba. She's good and addicted now - I think she even made her first Zumba clothing online order last week :) Love her.

This event was pretty much like going to Geraldine's Zumba classes on Monday evening - we were in the gym and it was mostly just the girls that usually go to class during the week. Oh, and it was 2-hours too.

One big difference was my Mom was there!!!!

Mom and me

It had been awhile since she Zumba'd, but she did great. I think I inherited my lack of rhythm from her, but we both can fake it with the best of them :)

I finally got of photo of me with Geraldine.

Me and Geraldine

Geraldine is so awesome. We all love the words of encouragement that she shouts out to us during her classes. I think the crowd favorite saying is "YES YOU CAN!"

I was also happy to see my friend Rachel make it out to the fundraiser - I didn't get a photo of her :( - I talked to her during the break and she said she was having so much fun. She does the Zumba videos at home. More power to her - I rented a Zumba video once and just could not get into it. For me it's the class interaction that motivates me. Geraldine said it perfectly at her class a few weeks ago - we all help each other. We draw motivation and enthusiasm from each other. If one of is having an off night, the person next to us will help us pick it up.

Here are a couple of shots of the fabulous instructors that were leading us at the event.

Stephanie, Kim, Tina, Lisa, Ashley, Geraldine and Lindsay

Tina, Brittany, Granita and Tina

Kim, pictured above, was my first Zumba instructor. I'm so thankful for her. She was the one that made me fall in love with Zumba. This was back when I was 220 lbs., in the back row, wearing baggy t-shirts. She's hard core and man, can she move. It was great working out again with her.

Me, Tina, Lisa and Stephanie before the event.

I had a lot of fun at the fundraiser. It was great because I knew most of the routines and got an excellent workout. Most of the time at fundraisers and master classes I'm not working as hard because I'm not familiar with the routines.

The girls had a great play list and it was fun to have all my favorite instructors there together. I tried to snap as many photo as I could. We have nearly 130 group members on the Facebook group that I admin and I was hoping that most of the members would be able to see themselves in all their Zumba glory.

Lyndsay, Greta, Jennifer and Kimberly

Emily, April and Jennifer

Tina, Greta and Lindsay

Emily, rocking the belly skirt!

Bessie and her mama

Stacey and Mom

It didn't take long before the cute hair and makeup was gone.

Emily and me "glowing"

Emily and Bessie

And here a few of the regulars that you all are used to seeing.

Fatima and Shannon

Lindsay and Ashley

Jill, Stephanie and Ashley

Geraldine telling us to leave all the stress at the door and be in the moment and pretty much just that we all kick butt.

Ok, I think we're good on photos.

So, Mom and Stacey had to leave early. By the time we finished the two hours I was ravenous. I high-tailed it out of the gym and drove over to Five Guys and took a little cheeseburger and fries home with me and then promptly inhaled it when I got home.

Problem was I continued to eat like I had just finished 2-hours of Zumba for the rest of the (Easter) weekend. I gave myself two weeks to get my holiday gain off and as of this morning I'm finally there. Let's see if I can keep my head in the game today and tomorrow.

Last photo - promise. On the left is me at this event last year:

2010 vs. 2011