So I am only a few weeks away 20th high school reunion. Am I where I wanted to be weight-wise for the reunion? Not really? But I'm not unhappy where I am right now. I'm actually in a really good place right now. It's true that I haven't been successful losing any weight the past three years but I sure am happy that I'm maintained the 50 pounds that I lost. I bought my dress months ago and I know I won't be worried about how I look while I'm at the reunion.
|2007 vs. 2012 both with my good friend Stacey|
Am I satisfied with where my weight is right now? No, not really. I still want to lose at least 20 pounds. And guess what - I'm now on my way!
You will be very happy to know that I have finally broke through the exercise rut/head trash that I've had going on for the past two years. Seriously it feels so good to have that weight off my shoulders.
I was hesitant to blog with confidence about this until now because I was afraid my return to exercise was fleeting, but it's been a month now. And even more than the consistently side of it, I have found my love of exercise again and I'm so happy about it.
I don't know if my cousin reads my blog or not (hi cuz) but I've been watching her love of Crossfit on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest the past several months. I can tell from her posts that she truly loves Crossfit. I was really happy for her, but I was also envious of her because that was how I used to feel about Zumba. I was frustrated with what happened to that passion for exercise that I once had. Even when I would go back to a couple of Zumba classes - it just wasn't there.
Then one day I started to draft a blog post about it. I didn't save it but it was along the lines of: I don't understand why I don't like to exercise, I try and try and I just don't want to go, whine, whine, whine. And then something clicked for me and I hit delete on the blog post, picked up my phone and texted this to Jim:
So I need to suck it up and start working out, right?! There's no reason I can't go. The kids won't mind because I will have been home for at least a couple of hours and you can take Grace to Scouts right? I have to go and I have to go consistently. I'm not sure how to handle dinner on those days.
I was sick of the excuses. It was just stupid. I was frozen with the feeling that I just couldn't make it work. But I needed to go. It was that simple - just go. Don't analyze, just go.
So I did. I went the next day to a class with an instructor I hadn't been to before so I didn't know the songs or the moves. I didn't know the people. I stood in the spot where I stood in my first Zumba class four years ago (I just looked at the calendar from my first month of Zumba and it was four years to the day!). It was hard, I was sweaty after the warm up, I was gasping for air and it was difficult to keep up. But I went and I knew when I left that night that I was going to go again the next day. No thinking about it, I just needed to go.
The next night was instructed by Tina who I've know from Zumba for years and have taken her class. It was her first night back too - taking over a class for another instructor. I knew a few of her songs which gave me a little boost to be able to know which moves came next. Even better was a few of the girls in the class remembered me and welcomed me back. And again, I left that night knowing I was going to go again the next day.
The third night was being subbed by another instructor I've taken from before - Jenny. When I walked in to her class we started chatting for a bit and then she turned on her music to get started. When I looked in the mirror I realized I was standing in the front row since I had gone up to talk to her. There wasn't anyone else waiting for the front row spot so I decided to stay there. There is something about standing in the front row that really works for me. There's an added level of accountability being in the front because the people behind you are looking at you. That was the night that I left class thinking I couldn't wait to go back the next week.
I finally realized what was missing from the times that I had tried to go back. I hadn't stuck with it long enough. It took three days of exercising to stop sucking wind in class. To feel confident in the moves, to see the familiar smiling faces. This is my fourth week back to Zumba and this week has been awesome. Having taken these classes consistently now I'm starting to recognize the songs as they come over the speaker and get excited if it's a routine I like or groan when I know I'll be doing a lot of squats with a song (it's all good).
Last night my friend Mary Ellen came to class. She said she could tell she hadn't been to class in awhile and I just kept telling her to stick with it because I was right where she was a few weeks ago and it will get better. I was on fire in class last night. Where I had barely been able to pick up my feet a few weeks ago I was able to push myself to the limit last night. I had that exercise high I have been missing so much and afraid I would never get back. I was finally feeling what I can imagine my cousin feels when she does her favorite WOD at Crossfit.
Now I look forward to my workouts. It has been a very stressful, busy couple of weeks for me and I need that hour to myself to work on me. It makes me feel so much better. I come home with a smile on my face and with more energy. It's great to be back!
|omg - look how red I am!|