34
I lost count of how many cookies I ate yesterday. We had McAlister's catered at the office. It has been a really stressful week and I ate the mini cookies to try and feel better. Of course it didn't work. I don't understand how I can go from being so motivated to not even caring, so quickly.
I've done fine today. The cookies are still at the office, but I haven't eaten any. But, I do feel like as long as I'm not planning my meals I'm failing. It's too easy for me to eat crap when I don't have a plan. And man, do I not have a plan for this weekend.
Tonight we are going to Cold Stone for Jim's birthday. He's been planning it for weeks. I have two choices - eat ice cream or not. At this moment I have no idea what I will choose.
I also am planning to go to a party this weekend. There will be party food and adult beverages. Again, I have two choices - have a plan of what I'm going to eat and drink or not care and eat and drink what ever I want.
I have to think that the fact that I'm writing this on my blog for someone out there to see - that it's my attempt at accountability - although I did disable the feature where my posts show up on my Facebook page. I'm still struggling with the guilt of blogging while I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
Well for what it's worth, it's out there. I don't want to eat ice cream tonight. Maybe if I hadn't of eaten crap all week I would make a different choice, but as it is, I just need a win. I need to make a decision and stick with it and build from that success.
And what the heck, why don't I go ahead an put out there what I want to do for the party. It doesn't start until the early evening, so I will eat before I go.