01 02 03 I'm My Favorite: Weigh In and My Dream 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

Weigh In and My Dream

Weigh in Day - Feb. 10
Previous weight - 199
Current weight - 198.6
Difference - lost .4 pound

Total weight lost - 46.4 pounds

Early this morning I had a dream that I was morbidly obese. The dream didn't last very long. I do remember that I was looking at myself in a full length mirror from the side and I was shocked at what I saw, especially my face. When I think back on the dream I remember the feeling of - there is nothing I can do right now to change how I look.

And you know, that is true and maybe that's why so many of us have given up in the past. There was nothing I could do in that moment, looking in the mirror and not liking what I was seeing, to change how I looked.

Any effort that I put into losing weight won't show up physically for awhile. There is no instant gratification when it comes to saying no to a piece of cake and then physically seeing your double chin get smaller at the same time.

Although it would be nice to have instant results I think part of the whole journey of losing weight should be that it's hard. That way you learn about yourself along the way. Plus, when you've worked so hard you don't want to put the weight back on and make all that hard work be for nothing.

I was thinking this morning about my .4 lb loss this week. I am happy with any loss but in my head I knew I could have done better. This week was pretty easy for me. I only worked out once, I went over in points again this week, I had several days where I ate what I wanted (but still tracked). It was pretty easy and I lost. But you know what? I don't want it to be easy. I want it to be challenging. And that's because I remember what it was like before when I was losing every week. It was hard, but so rewarding. Planning out my points so that I could have a burger at the end of the week is different than eating a burger and then manipulating my points the rest of the week to make it work. It goes back to being in control.

Like I've said the last two weeks, I'm taking teeny tiny baby steps right now but with each step I'm gaining my confidence and belief in myself. It's working for me.
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