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Prank Caller

I have a story to share. It's sad, but I'm not sharing it to look for sympathy. I'm sharing it because I know so many of you have your own story, just like mine, and I want to tell all of you (myself included) that it's ok to let go of these stories.

My freshman year in high school I was home alone on a Friday night. I was in my room, listening to music, feeling sorry for myself because I had not been invited to a sleepover that a couple of my friends had been invited to. The phone rang and I answered it. The girl on the other end of the phone said "hey." I though I knew who it was (I still think I know) and so I responded back happily "Hi! What are you up to?" I could feel my spirits starting to rise  knowing my friend had called to talk to me. There was a pause on the line and then my friend said "you have a big butt" and she promptly hung up the phone.

I was in shock. I hung up the phone and laid there in disbelief. Then I cried. I cried for a long time. And I hung on to that memory for a even longer time.

I let go of this memory once I started dating Jim and I could truly believe that he was attracted to me (all of me) and his was the only person's opinion that mattered to me.

And now I know I can really let go of this memory forever. I read Kat's Adventures in Dietland post today about a similar story and reading her story reminded me that I'm in control of how I perceive myself. Like her, I wish I could go back and tell my 14-year-old self that everything will be ok. That the boy in my English class that I had a crush on would someday be my husband and father of my children and that I would be so happy and all my dreams would come true. I would tell her that I would gain confidence and self esteem and not be so painfully shy and that what others thought of me wouldn't matter to me so much.

Now I just need to get to a place where when I hear EU's "Da Butt" I don't want to run screaming from the room :)
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