01 02 03 I'm My Favorite: Jiggly mess 04 05 15 16 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 31 32 33

Jiggly mess


I have an hour before my training stuff starts so I wanted to share my gym story from this morning.

Let's go back to this time last year. I was at the same hotel and was working out at a hotel fitness center for the first time ever. A few minutes into my workout a guy came in to workout too and it was all I could do to not leave the room. I do not do well when I think people are watching me workout.

I used to feel the same way at Zumba which is why I always wore baggy shirts in the beginning but I quickly realized once I was in the front row that those baggy shirts just made me look heavier. I had lost a significant amount of inches in my waist and I wanted to see it when I worked out so I switched to tank tops. Now that doesn't take away the fact that I'm very bottom heavy but I just came to terms with the fact that I couldn't care about the girls behind me at zumba being offended by what I looked like from behind during class. Honestly I don't think any of those girls from class care what I look like and if they do, I really don't care to call them my friend anyway.

So that brings us back today. I put on my gym clothes and reluctantly went down to the fitness center. I opened the door with my room key, took a step in and realized that the two main guys in charge of the training I go to here every year were in there lifting weights.

Now normally I would have backed out of the room before anyone saw me and went running back to my room, but somehow I managed to keep walking forward (while forgetting to pick up a towel) and go to the front of the room to get on a treadmill. (why are treadmills always set up at the front of the room where everyone can see your business from behind?)

I turned on my c25k app and started walking. I knew I had a five minute warmup to do before the 20 minutes of run/walk started, but I was dreading the count down until I started my first run. Not because I was worried I couldn't do it but because I knew those guys could see all my jiggleness from behind and I was embarrassed.

But I kept going.

During my first 60 second run my mantra was - don't leave, don't leave, don't leave. During my second 60 second run my mantra was - don't think about your butt, don't think about your butt, don't think about your butt.

Around this time I convinced myself the guys had completed their workout and left but I never turned around to be sure, but it did help me relax a little.

I thought a lot during that short 30 minute workout. I thought about the fact that I would have been there even if it wasn't the fourth day of january of a new year. I saw the reflection of my neck in the machine and thought about how much thinner it was this year. I thought about how I was the only girl in the there and how kick butt I was. And I thought about you guys and how you all would be cheering me on telling me I could totally do this.

And I did.

And I'm proud.


35 36 37 38