Last night I went to Zumba after being off for nearly two weeks from being sick. I didn't even attempt approaching the front row. Instead I found a nice spot in the third row.
It was great to see all my friends' smiling faces and get caught up while waiting for class to start. Monday night is Geraldine's class. She has taken over for Trish who used to teach Monday night. I've only been to a handful of Geraldine's classes but she has a great energy and has built quite a following at the Y (she also teaches a Friday morning class and is also taking over the Saturday class).
She started with a warm up that I remembered. The funny thing is I felt really strange as class started. I felt like it was my first class. As I was shaking my hips and shoulders I was thinking "really, is this what I'm doing with a roomful of strangers?" I'm sure that's what most people feel the first time they go to Zumba.
I moved left when I should have moved right. I missed the cue to do single, single, double and did single, single, single. I felt awkward and out of breathe and disappointed that I felt those things. But it didn't last too long and I did eventually get my groove back. By the end of class I was shaking it with the best of them. Geraldine does a lot of "shaking it" with her routines which the ladies love :)
I got a great workout in and was glad to finally be back. On my way out of class my friend Heather mentioned she had signed up for the Y's Zero Gain Challenge before class. I decided to go ahead and get signed up too. I paid $10 and had the personal trainer record my weight. If I don't gain any weight by the time I weigh-in again after Christmas I will get a $15 credit to a Y program of my choice. It's just a little extra motivation to stay on plan over Christmas.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
NSV and Their Positive Effects
I don't have a lot of vivid childhood memories, but one of the few I do have is sitting at Mass on Sundays with my family and the monthly all school Mass at my Catholic school. The church I grew up in had this awful carpet and instead of pews the parishioners sat in equally ugly chairs. My memory is of sitting in the chairs as a little girl and having my legs dangle over the edge of the seat. I remember wishing my legs were longer so that they reached the ground and I could cross them like my mom and the older girls in my school did. Isn't it silly what we wish for when we're little.
So one of the disadvantages of being overweight is you can't cross your legs. Sure, I could kind of cross them when I was heavier but it was more like resting my ankle on my knee.
I'm not sure when I was able to cross my legs properly again. I was sitting at McAlisters today doing some reading after I ate my lunch and I realized I wasn't sitting very lady like and then I crossed my legs under the table. That was something that was unheard of 50 pounds ago. Nonscale victories always give me a little boost - even ones that I reached awhile ago.
So one of the disadvantages of being overweight is you can't cross your legs. Sure, I could kind of cross them when I was heavier but it was more like resting my ankle on my knee.
I'm not sure when I was able to cross my legs properly again. I was sitting at McAlisters today doing some reading after I ate my lunch and I realized I wasn't sitting very lady like and then I crossed my legs under the table. That was something that was unheard of 50 pounds ago. Nonscale victories always give me a little boost - even ones that I reached awhile ago.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Class Reunion
Last night Jim and I went to an informal class reunion. There were about 30 of us from the class of '93 that got together. We both had a really nice time catching up with many of our classmates that we hadn't seen in seven years since our last reunion.
I know that reunions can be a hard time for a lot of people because they're not the same size as they were in high school. I remember feeling that way at our ten year reunion.
This get together was only planned a few weeks ago and I'm happy to say my reaction to the invitation was excitement. Had this reunion been a couple of years ago I might not have even gone because of my weight. I was excited to go shopping for a new top; something I would have dreaded a couple of years ago.
As I've mentioned before in my blog, my weight loss has given me more confidence and just made me more outgoing overall. At our ten year reunion I sat a the same table the whole evening and only talked to the people that came by our table. Last night I broke out of my comfort zone and mingled around the room by myself. It was really nice to talk to everyone.
So, here's what I wore:
I talk pretty openly on Facebook about my weight loss journey and having lost 50 pounds in the last two years. I had several people last night congratulate me on my accomplishment and talk to me about wellness. It made me feel really good and very proud.
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| Two of my closest friends from high school - Beth and Maureen |
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| Me and Jim - I love this photo of us! |
Friday, November 26, 2010
Weigh-in and the sickies
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 194.4
Current weight - 194.4
Difference - lost 0 pounds
Total weight lost -50.6
I got a new scale this week which I'm thrilled to see shows the same weight as I get on and off it. Not like my old scale that I'd have to stand on a dozen times to get a consistent reading. Problem is the new scale weighs me about half a pound higher than my old scale. My sister-in-law Kim warned me about this when she got her new scale a few months ago. So "technically" I have a half a pound loss this week, but since I was so awful with my eating I'm going to take the week as staying the same so that I can switch to my new scale and throw out the other one.
It's been a rough couple of weeks in our house. Last week I was sick. Gracie woke up Wednesday morning screaming. Jim took her to the ER and she has a sever double ear infection. She's doing better now. This morning Jacob came in my room saying his stomach hurt. An hour or so later I was cleaning puke off the wall and floor in the bedroom. He finally got the flu bug that's been going around his school. It wouldn't be so bad but we were supposed to host my families Thanksgiving dinner here today. I called my Mom at 7 a.m. and asked if she would host instead. Of course she said yes and we let everyone know about the change in venue. This is a nasty bug so we decided we would stay home instead of risking getting the others sick. It's really disappointing because I'd been looking forward to the meal at our house, but I'm trying to keep things in perspective. Take care of my little ones and help them get well.
Previous weight - 194.4
Current weight - 194.4
Difference - lost 0 pounds
Total weight lost -50.6
I got a new scale this week which I'm thrilled to see shows the same weight as I get on and off it. Not like my old scale that I'd have to stand on a dozen times to get a consistent reading. Problem is the new scale weighs me about half a pound higher than my old scale. My sister-in-law Kim warned me about this when she got her new scale a few months ago. So "technically" I have a half a pound loss this week, but since I was so awful with my eating I'm going to take the week as staying the same so that I can switch to my new scale and throw out the other one.
It's been a rough couple of weeks in our house. Last week I was sick. Gracie woke up Wednesday morning screaming. Jim took her to the ER and she has a sever double ear infection. She's doing better now. This morning Jacob came in my room saying his stomach hurt. An hour or so later I was cleaning puke off the wall and floor in the bedroom. He finally got the flu bug that's been going around his school. It wouldn't be so bad but we were supposed to host my families Thanksgiving dinner here today. I called my Mom at 7 a.m. and asked if she would host instead. Of course she said yes and we let everyone know about the change in venue. This is a nasty bug so we decided we would stay home instead of risking getting the others sick. It's really disappointing because I'd been looking forward to the meal at our house, but I'm trying to keep things in perspective. Take care of my little ones and help them get well.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Totally Off Plan
I'm feeling much better today. I'm still having some dizziness, but overall things are getting better.
I am however totally off my program. I've used being sick as an excuse to not track and eat pretty much whatever I want and I haven't exercised all week. I feel gross.
Last Thursday I stayed late at the office and missed dinner at home. I had to stop at a friends house before going home so I decide to stop at a drive thru. I can't remember the last time I ate dinner in my car. McDonalds was the only thing on my way. I got a quarter pounder with cheese value meal. I remember the first thing I thought when I picked up the sandwich was how heavy it was. I pretty much shoved it down, not enjoying any of it. I didn't like the texture of the meat or the flavor. I was tired and dizzy and just wanted to get home without getting in an accident. I thought getting some food in my stomach might help me feel better. It didn't. I remember shoveling in the fries as I drove down the highway. About half way through the fry box I stopped and said to myself "these don't even taste like real food!" They didn't, they didn't task anything like potatoes. I threw the rest of the fries in the bag and put the bag on the floor. It makes my stomach hurt just typing all this. It was a low point. I should have just waited until I got home to eat.
I feel better having written all this. I'm ready to start over now. I know I'm way over in points for this week and probably won't get any exercise in before Friday. And there's this little thing called Thanksgiving coming up. I need to do some serious thinking and get a plan together for this weekend. I know I'll have a gain, but I can control how big that gain becomes. I can plan out my points for Thursday and Fridays dinners. I can ease my way back into exercise. I must take this as a learning experience. I will get sick again and next time I'll be better prepared to handle it.
I am however totally off my program. I've used being sick as an excuse to not track and eat pretty much whatever I want and I haven't exercised all week. I feel gross.
Last Thursday I stayed late at the office and missed dinner at home. I had to stop at a friends house before going home so I decide to stop at a drive thru. I can't remember the last time I ate dinner in my car. McDonalds was the only thing on my way. I got a quarter pounder with cheese value meal. I remember the first thing I thought when I picked up the sandwich was how heavy it was. I pretty much shoved it down, not enjoying any of it. I didn't like the texture of the meat or the flavor. I was tired and dizzy and just wanted to get home without getting in an accident. I thought getting some food in my stomach might help me feel better. It didn't. I remember shoveling in the fries as I drove down the highway. About half way through the fry box I stopped and said to myself "these don't even taste like real food!" They didn't, they didn't task anything like potatoes. I threw the rest of the fries in the bag and put the bag on the floor. It makes my stomach hurt just typing all this. It was a low point. I should have just waited until I got home to eat.
I feel better having written all this. I'm ready to start over now. I know I'm way over in points for this week and probably won't get any exercise in before Friday. And there's this little thing called Thanksgiving coming up. I need to do some serious thinking and get a plan together for this weekend. I know I'll have a gain, but I can control how big that gain becomes. I can plan out my points for Thursday and Fridays dinners. I can ease my way back into exercise. I must take this as a learning experience. I will get sick again and next time I'll be better prepared to handle it.
Monday, November 22, 2010
A Really Rough Week
I'm so glad last week is behind me. It did not go the way I planned and I really struggled to make it through the week. I was preparing all week for our annual awards ceremony for work, but what I had not planned on was getting sick.
Now, I'm not talking about the in bed with the flu kind of sick, that might have actually been better. I thought I was having a bad reaction to some increased dosage of migraine medicine my neurologist put me on, but now as I sit here five days later having stopped the medication and still having the symptoms I think I might just be dealing with a virus. I had something very similar happen to me about five years ago and it was one of the scariest times in my life. Long story short is I feel about 50 percent mentally as I normally do. I'm dizzy, lightheaded, tired, can't concentrate and just don't feel like myself. When this happened five years ago I ended up having a bunch of tests done to see if they could find what was wrong after two weeks of these symptoms. Shortly after all the test came back normal I started feeling better. My doctor said it was probably some kind of virus or ear infection. I do feel a little comfort thinking that I might just be going through the same thing again. I'm not a doctor obviously so I will be following up with my neurologist tomorrow liked they asked me to on Friday. I'm going to be taking it easy and staying home tomorrow.
So, last week was hard. I needed to be at 100 percent and like I mentioned I was half of that. Luckily I have some awesome co-workers that stepped up and helped me out. My responsibilities for the event included writing the 90-minute script for the awards program, setting up for the event, running rehearsal and greeting the 35 award winners at registration with instructions on accepting their awards. By Friday morning the stress of being sick was too much for me. I was doubting the work I had done all week and if it was good enough - I didn't feel I could trust myself. I talked to one of my co-workers at the office and she offered her help and I took it. She looked over my work and said it looked good. She offered to come and help with rehearsal which made me feel so much better. Luckily by the time rehearsal rolled around I was feeling ok enough to do it on my own. I have great co-workers and they were all so understanding and supportive throughout the day.
As the program got started I held my breathe for the next 90-minutes until our board chair thanked everyone for coming at the conclusion of the program. I had made it through without any major problems. I was so relieved. It really was a great night, I just wish I could have enjoyed it more.
There is a significant story wellness-wise that goes along with this night. This was my 10th award ceremony. I still had the dress I wore to my first one. It had been in a box for the past ten years. I don't typically hold on to clothes I don't fit into anymore, but I really loved this dress and hoped someday I'd fit back into it. I tried it on back in June to see if I could wear it to a wedding. I could zip it up but couldn't breathe. I tried it on a few weeks ago and it fit perfectly. Although the staff dresses up in the decade theme for the year, I decided that I really wanted to wear this dress so I did. (I also felt kind of awkward last year talking to the award winners in my jeans and 70s blond wig, so I was more comfortable in formal wear this year).
Here are a few photos from the event.
Now, I'm not talking about the in bed with the flu kind of sick, that might have actually been better. I thought I was having a bad reaction to some increased dosage of migraine medicine my neurologist put me on, but now as I sit here five days later having stopped the medication and still having the symptoms I think I might just be dealing with a virus. I had something very similar happen to me about five years ago and it was one of the scariest times in my life. Long story short is I feel about 50 percent mentally as I normally do. I'm dizzy, lightheaded, tired, can't concentrate and just don't feel like myself. When this happened five years ago I ended up having a bunch of tests done to see if they could find what was wrong after two weeks of these symptoms. Shortly after all the test came back normal I started feeling better. My doctor said it was probably some kind of virus or ear infection. I do feel a little comfort thinking that I might just be going through the same thing again. I'm not a doctor obviously so I will be following up with my neurologist tomorrow liked they asked me to on Friday. I'm going to be taking it easy and staying home tomorrow.
So, last week was hard. I needed to be at 100 percent and like I mentioned I was half of that. Luckily I have some awesome co-workers that stepped up and helped me out. My responsibilities for the event included writing the 90-minute script for the awards program, setting up for the event, running rehearsal and greeting the 35 award winners at registration with instructions on accepting their awards. By Friday morning the stress of being sick was too much for me. I was doubting the work I had done all week and if it was good enough - I didn't feel I could trust myself. I talked to one of my co-workers at the office and she offered her help and I took it. She looked over my work and said it looked good. She offered to come and help with rehearsal which made me feel so much better. Luckily by the time rehearsal rolled around I was feeling ok enough to do it on my own. I have great co-workers and they were all so understanding and supportive throughout the day.
As the program got started I held my breathe for the next 90-minutes until our board chair thanked everyone for coming at the conclusion of the program. I had made it through without any major problems. I was so relieved. It really was a great night, I just wish I could have enjoyed it more.
There is a significant story wellness-wise that goes along with this night. This was my 10th award ceremony. I still had the dress I wore to my first one. It had been in a box for the past ten years. I don't typically hold on to clothes I don't fit into anymore, but I really loved this dress and hoped someday I'd fit back into it. I tried it on back in June to see if I could wear it to a wedding. I could zip it up but couldn't breathe. I tried it on a few weeks ago and it fit perfectly. Although the staff dresses up in the decade theme for the year, I decided that I really wanted to wear this dress so I did. (I also felt kind of awkward last year talking to the award winners in my jeans and 70s blond wig, so I was more comfortable in formal wear this year).
Here are a few photos from the event.
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| Me with my co-workers sporting their 80s gear. |
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| We had 650 in attendance |
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| Our 80s centerpieces were oversized rubix cubes, joy sticks and cassette tapes. |
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| Retro candy station |
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| Me and Stacey |
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| 2008 vs. 2010 |
Friday, November 19, 2010
Weigh-in and 50 Pounds Down!
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 196.2
Current weight - 194.4
Difference - lost 1.8 pound
Total weight lost -50.6
Big work event tonight. Check back tomorrow for a recap with photos.
Previous weight - 196.2
Current weight - 194.4
Difference - lost 1.8 pound
Total weight lost -50.6
Big work event tonight. Check back tomorrow for a recap with photos.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
This Was Supposed to be a Butterfinger
Went into Speedway to get a Diet Dr. Pepper and butterfinger and came out with this instead.
Score one for me!
Score one for me!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
When Did I Stop Watching TV?
Another added benefit of Zumba is that I've pretty much stopped watching television. I had no intention of this happening. I was a TV junkie. That's what my evenings used to consist of. We would put the kids to bed, I would curl up on the couch with three favorite guys - Jim, Ben & Jerry and watch a few hours on the dvr.
My dvr was full of shows like Gossip Girl, 90210, Survivor, American Idol, Biggest Loser, and on and on and on.
Right now the only show I have on dvr that I watch is Parenthood and the only show I watch live every week is Boardwalk Empire on Sunday night. I will watch some of the NBC comedies with Jim on the weekends if he has them on and will sometimes breakout an episode of The Big Bang Theory when I have 30 minutes and all of the episodes haven't been erased because they've been saved too long.
I just have different priorities and interests now. I work out during the work week on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday which is about 90 minutes including driving time. On those nights I squeeze in picking up the kids from aftercare, making the kids dinner, homework, zumba, bedtime stories, my dinner, blogging, shower and bed. I've got it down pretty good and I can usually be in bed by 10 p.m. Three of our four Wednesdays every month consist of Cub Scouts with Jacob which we use as a full family activity. Friday nights are ballet and karate for the kids. That just doesn't leave any time for TV and you know what? You know what's coming right? I don't miss it. Not one bit.
What about you? If you exercise regularly, what did you used to do with that time before you started exercising?
My dvr was full of shows like Gossip Girl, 90210, Survivor, American Idol, Biggest Loser, and on and on and on.
Right now the only show I have on dvr that I watch is Parenthood and the only show I watch live every week is Boardwalk Empire on Sunday night. I will watch some of the NBC comedies with Jim on the weekends if he has them on and will sometimes breakout an episode of The Big Bang Theory when I have 30 minutes and all of the episodes haven't been erased because they've been saved too long.
I just have different priorities and interests now. I work out during the work week on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday which is about 90 minutes including driving time. On those nights I squeeze in picking up the kids from aftercare, making the kids dinner, homework, zumba, bedtime stories, my dinner, blogging, shower and bed. I've got it down pretty good and I can usually be in bed by 10 p.m. Three of our four Wednesdays every month consist of Cub Scouts with Jacob which we use as a full family activity. Friday nights are ballet and karate for the kids. That just doesn't leave any time for TV and you know what? You know what's coming right? I don't miss it. Not one bit.
What about you? If you exercise regularly, what did you used to do with that time before you started exercising?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Jewelry, Scrapbooking, Harry Potter and Failure
I'm one of those people that when I get excited about something new I get really excited about it. My most recent obsession has been this Premier Design Jewelry Party I had over the weekend. I've become pretty obsessed with it. It started off as just me doing a favor for my friend Mary Ellen who has just signed up as a Jewelry Lady under my good friend Jodi. I offered to do a party for Mary Ellen and didn't think much about it. After my party Saturday night I ended up talking to Jodi for about three hours asking her questions after question about the jewelry and the business. Then after she went home I couldn't sleep and I stayed up until about 2 a.m. working on a spreadsheet of all the free jewelry I wanted to pick out. I've reworked that spreadsheet a dozen times in the past two days. I'm obsessed. I feel like this is an embarrassing quality to have. That it's not practical. That it's setting myself up for disappointment.
There's a famous story between Jim and I that he can conveniently bring up any time he needs to remind me of my obsessiveness. It has to do with another direct sales business - Creative Memories - the scrapbooking company. I had no scrapbooking experience and went to a Creative Memories home party about ten years ago. If you've been to one you know you get to put together a couple of pages at the party. I got a taste of the fun and I wanted more. I came home and showed Jim the catalog and told him I wanted the deluxe kit. Now my husband loves me very much and wants to give me everything my heart desires, but he also knows me very well and had to question how valid my new found passion was for scrapbooking. He suggested I give it a couple of weeks and if I kept up with the pages I was working on from the party than we could look into buying the kit. Yeah, those pages are still sitting in the closet collecting dust with no progression since the night of the party. I'm embarrassed by this story.
BUT, I have proven that I can take on an obsession with something new and not burn out. I have kept up with this wellness obsession for two years. Not only have I not gone out in a blaze of glory but I've continued to grow stronger with each passing day. The fire burning brighter and brighter. I'm also extremely proud of the career goals I've set for myself and achieved. For every scrapbooking story there are two more stories that I have achieved success with my obsessiveness.
So my question is how do I know which way the obsession is going to go? When do I know when to go all in? When to take risks? When should I hold back? When should I give it a few weeks and see if the fire dies?
Here is some insightt into those questions:
This was my Facebook status on Saturday morning:
"Talking all things Harry Potter with Jacob and telling him J K Rowling's amazing story. I love my son's passion for reading and that he got it from me :)"
One of my FB friends posted a response that include this link to Rowling's inspirational Harvard commencement speech, "The Fringe Benefits of Failure"? I hadn't read it before so I skimmed it while Jacob and I were still hanging out watching one of the Harry Potter movies on dvr. I took many things from the reading (and I need to go back and take a closer look at it) but a big thing I took was from when she talked about failure. Please take a few minutes to read her words below:
"So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.
Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.
The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned."
So this is what I take from all this. I would much rather be the crazy obsessive person that wants to give scrapbooking a shot than to sit at home and be afraid to even try because I might fail and end up with empty scrapbook pages in my closet. Yes, I'm glad I didn't buy the deluxe kit and that's where I do have to be careful with my obsessiveness but I do like getting excited about new things. And now I know that I don't like scrapbooking
Why should I pretend I'm not this person. This is who I am. I get crazy excited about new things and that's ok. I shouldn't be ashamed. I shouldn't hide it and if it doesn't work out it's ok. And if I want to try again I can. And if it helps me eliminate something that I'm not passionate about to help me find the one thing I am passionate about than it's was worth the experience of failing.
And the fact that this post isn't flowing and making sense in print like it did in my head is ok. A little failure will make me stronger tomorrow.
There's a famous story between Jim and I that he can conveniently bring up any time he needs to remind me of my obsessiveness. It has to do with another direct sales business - Creative Memories - the scrapbooking company. I had no scrapbooking experience and went to a Creative Memories home party about ten years ago. If you've been to one you know you get to put together a couple of pages at the party. I got a taste of the fun and I wanted more. I came home and showed Jim the catalog and told him I wanted the deluxe kit. Now my husband loves me very much and wants to give me everything my heart desires, but he also knows me very well and had to question how valid my new found passion was for scrapbooking. He suggested I give it a couple of weeks and if I kept up with the pages I was working on from the party than we could look into buying the kit. Yeah, those pages are still sitting in the closet collecting dust with no progression since the night of the party. I'm embarrassed by this story.
BUT, I have proven that I can take on an obsession with something new and not burn out. I have kept up with this wellness obsession for two years. Not only have I not gone out in a blaze of glory but I've continued to grow stronger with each passing day. The fire burning brighter and brighter. I'm also extremely proud of the career goals I've set for myself and achieved. For every scrapbooking story there are two more stories that I have achieved success with my obsessiveness.
So my question is how do I know which way the obsession is going to go? When do I know when to go all in? When to take risks? When should I hold back? When should I give it a few weeks and see if the fire dies?
Here is some insightt into those questions:
This was my Facebook status on Saturday morning:
"Talking all things Harry Potter with Jacob and telling him J K Rowling's amazing story. I love my son's passion for reading and that he got it from me :)"
One of my FB friends posted a response that include this link to Rowling's inspirational Harvard commencement speech, "The Fringe Benefits of Failure"? I hadn't read it before so I skimmed it while Jacob and I were still hanging out watching one of the Harry Potter movies on dvr. I took many things from the reading (and I need to go back and take a closer look at it) but a big thing I took was from when she talked about failure. Please take a few minutes to read her words below:
"So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.
Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.
The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned."
So this is what I take from all this. I would much rather be the crazy obsessive person that wants to give scrapbooking a shot than to sit at home and be afraid to even try because I might fail and end up with empty scrapbook pages in my closet. Yes, I'm glad I didn't buy the deluxe kit and that's where I do have to be careful with my obsessiveness but I do like getting excited about new things. And now I know that I don't like scrapbooking
Why should I pretend I'm not this person. This is who I am. I get crazy excited about new things and that's ok. I shouldn't be ashamed. I shouldn't hide it and if it doesn't work out it's ok. And if I want to try again I can. And if it helps me eliminate something that I'm not passionate about to help me find the one thing I am passionate about than it's was worth the experience of failing.
And the fact that this post isn't flowing and making sense in print like it did in my head is ok. A little failure will make me stronger tomorrow.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Weigh In - And My New Goal
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 198.8
Current weight - 196.2
Difference - lost 2.6 pound
Total weight lost - 48.8
I was surprised by that number this week. It certainly wasn't that number yesterday. And if you've read my blog this week you know I've been all over the place with eating. But I never gave up and let me tell you, after last night's Zumba class I was sitting in my car still dripping with sweat - it was awesome. I'm taking that 2.6 pound loss and owning it. My head is in a pretty good place right now and I'm ready to give it 100%.
I'm still thinking about what I want my goal to be. I haven't come up with anything new or exciting, so for now I'm going to do what worked for me last time.
If you remember back at the end of July I created a chart that tracked the weight I needed to lose each week to get to under 200 pounds by my wedding anniversary. Here it is:
So my new goal has an end date of 12/31/10. Now you might thing I picked that date because it's the last weigh-in of the year, but that's not why. Way back in the beginning of my blog I talked a little about how and why I got started on my journey. The first week in January I will be completing my training that I have been going to the past three years. This is where my journey started. I came home the first year and said I wanted to be skinny the next year when I went back. Then the next year when I went back I was heavier - that's when I talked to Liz and discovered she had lost 65 pounds on Weight Watchers and that was the inspiration I needed to get started.
Last year, my third year, I went back to my training almost 30 pounds lighter. This year I want that number to be a total of 56 pounds lighter than my first year. To accomplish that I need to lose ten pounds before the end of the year (including today's weigh-in BONUS). That would put me at 188.8. (All weeks except this week have me losing 1.2 pounds a week. I made this week a goal of 1.4 so I could get that nice round number of 10 pounds) Here's my new Goal Chart.
I know this will be a challenge for me. I really struggled with my eating over Halloween. I think I can manage the eating part at upcoming parties, but I worry about the time-management issues I know I will be faced with. Like for everyone, there just won't be enough time to get everything done and that's when I start to struggle - struggle to make it to the gym, struggle to make healthy eating choices. That's where my focus will have to be. Oh, and news on the street is Weight Watchers will be changing their plan at the beginning of December so there's the whole issues of dealing with change that I'll be faced with - but I'm preparing myself now so I'll be ready to embrace the changes.
So I'm feeling good. I do know one change I'm going to be making is not blowing all my weekly points over the weekend - it's just makes the rest of the week too stressful for me. I also need to drink more water and make sure we have plenty of healthy food at home. These are all pretty easy things that I can do to help me with my goals.
Previous weight - 198.8
Current weight - 196.2
Difference - lost 2.6 pound
Total weight lost - 48.8
_________________________________________________
I was surprised by that number this week. It certainly wasn't that number yesterday. And if you've read my blog this week you know I've been all over the place with eating. But I never gave up and let me tell you, after last night's Zumba class I was sitting in my car still dripping with sweat - it was awesome. I'm taking that 2.6 pound loss and owning it. My head is in a pretty good place right now and I'm ready to give it 100%.
I'm still thinking about what I want my goal to be. I haven't come up with anything new or exciting, so for now I'm going to do what worked for me last time.
If you remember back at the end of July I created a chart that tracked the weight I needed to lose each week to get to under 200 pounds by my wedding anniversary. Here it is:
So my new goal has an end date of 12/31/10. Now you might thing I picked that date because it's the last weigh-in of the year, but that's not why. Way back in the beginning of my blog I talked a little about how and why I got started on my journey. The first week in January I will be completing my training that I have been going to the past three years. This is where my journey started. I came home the first year and said I wanted to be skinny the next year when I went back. Then the next year when I went back I was heavier - that's when I talked to Liz and discovered she had lost 65 pounds on Weight Watchers and that was the inspiration I needed to get started.
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| Me and Liz the second year of my training. This was me at my heaviest of 245 and right before I got started on my journey. |
Last year, my third year, I went back to my training almost 30 pounds lighter. This year I want that number to be a total of 56 pounds lighter than my first year. To accomplish that I need to lose ten pounds before the end of the year (including today's weigh-in BONUS). That would put me at 188.8. (All weeks except this week have me losing 1.2 pounds a week. I made this week a goal of 1.4 so I could get that nice round number of 10 pounds) Here's my new Goal Chart.
I know this will be a challenge for me. I really struggled with my eating over Halloween. I think I can manage the eating part at upcoming parties, but I worry about the time-management issues I know I will be faced with. Like for everyone, there just won't be enough time to get everything done and that's when I start to struggle - struggle to make it to the gym, struggle to make healthy eating choices. That's where my focus will have to be. Oh, and news on the street is Weight Watchers will be changing their plan at the beginning of December so there's the whole issues of dealing with change that I'll be faced with - but I'm preparing myself now so I'll be ready to embrace the changes.
So I'm feeling good. I do know one change I'm going to be making is not blowing all my weekly points over the weekend - it's just makes the rest of the week too stressful for me. I also need to drink more water and make sure we have plenty of healthy food at home. These are all pretty easy things that I can do to help me with my goals.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
My Husband is Awesome!
I'm sitting here on the couch finishing up some work on the laptop, getting ready to shower and head to bed and I say to my husband "crap, I still haven't blogged today. I guess it will have to wait until tomorrow."
His response was "Nooo. That's one of the favorite parts of my day is reading your blog. Just do one real quick. Write about how awesome I am."
Goodnight.
His response was "Nooo. That's one of the favorite parts of my day is reading your blog. Just do one real quick. Write about how awesome I am."
My husband is soooooooooooo awesome.
Goodnight.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Do You Know Me?
I was tagged by my mom, I'm On My Way, so the answers to her questions will be my post today. The object of the game is to tag four other bloggers and they are to tag someone else with new questions.
1. What is your favorite holiday and why and how do you celebrate it? This question makes me think of my son Jacob when he was in Kindergarten. It was his class' turn to be in charge of Mass at school and the priest had all the boys and girls come up to the alter for a little chat. Long story short - he happened to ask the kids what their favorite holiday was and most of the children said Christmas or Halloween and when he asked my Jacob he shouted out Groundhogs Day! :) At the time Jacob was obsessed with the book Groundhog Gets a Say and we read it EVERY night. So sweet. Anyway, my favorite holiday as a mother has to be Christmas. I love the traditions we've started with our kids and hosting the Christmas party for Jim's side of the family on Christmas Eve.
2. Do you relish time alone and what was the last thing you did when you were alone for 24 hours? In general I don't enjoy being alone with the exception of taking a nap. The last time I was alone for 24 hours was probably last January when I flew to Arizona for a conference. I had planned on having dinner with one of my classmates but our plans fell through so I just took a walk by myself instead and picked up some dinner and ate it back at my hotel room. I watched some television and went to bed early and slept in.
3. What is your favorite type of ethic food and when and what was the last time you ate it? Chinese food. I had Trader Joe's Shrimp Fried Rice on Monday. It was excellent and 3 WW points per cup.
4. Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why? I'm going to change this question a bit to who my favorite professor was in college. I don't remember his name but it was an Art History class I took on the Baroque period. It was my favorite because it was the hardest class I ever took. We had readings due between every class and he called on every student every class to quiz us on the reading material. I learned so much in that class. It was in a lecture room inside the art museum on campus. There were glass displays in the room with jewelry and pottery and other art pieces that I remember looking at them for hours. It was an amazing class.
Here are the four people I’m tagging and my questions for them.
Whitney at Getting Healthy
Blubeari
Michelle at Those Last 75 Pounds
Lap Band Gal
1. If you could tell your 16-year-old self one thing what would it be?
2. Do you eat the skin of baked potatoes or just the insides?
3. Once you hit goal are you worried about gaining the weight back? Why or why not?
4. What was your first job and was there a specific reason you took it?
1. What is your favorite holiday and why and how do you celebrate it? This question makes me think of my son Jacob when he was in Kindergarten. It was his class' turn to be in charge of Mass at school and the priest had all the boys and girls come up to the alter for a little chat. Long story short - he happened to ask the kids what their favorite holiday was and most of the children said Christmas or Halloween and when he asked my Jacob he shouted out Groundhogs Day! :) At the time Jacob was obsessed with the book Groundhog Gets a Say and we read it EVERY night. So sweet. Anyway, my favorite holiday as a mother has to be Christmas. I love the traditions we've started with our kids and hosting the Christmas party for Jim's side of the family on Christmas Eve.
2. Do you relish time alone and what was the last thing you did when you were alone for 24 hours? In general I don't enjoy being alone with the exception of taking a nap. The last time I was alone for 24 hours was probably last January when I flew to Arizona for a conference. I had planned on having dinner with one of my classmates but our plans fell through so I just took a walk by myself instead and picked up some dinner and ate it back at my hotel room. I watched some television and went to bed early and slept in.
3. What is your favorite type of ethic food and when and what was the last time you ate it? Chinese food. I had Trader Joe's Shrimp Fried Rice on Monday. It was excellent and 3 WW points per cup.
4. Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why? I'm going to change this question a bit to who my favorite professor was in college. I don't remember his name but it was an Art History class I took on the Baroque period. It was my favorite because it was the hardest class I ever took. We had readings due between every class and he called on every student every class to quiz us on the reading material. I learned so much in that class. It was in a lecture room inside the art museum on campus. There were glass displays in the room with jewelry and pottery and other art pieces that I remember looking at them for hours. It was an amazing class.
Here are the four people I’m tagging and my questions for them.
Whitney at Getting Healthy
Blubeari
Michelle at Those Last 75 Pounds
Lap Band Gal
1. If you could tell your 16-year-old self one thing what would it be?
2. Do you eat the skin of baked potatoes or just the insides?
3. Once you hit goal are you worried about gaining the weight back? Why or why not?
4. What was your first job and was there a specific reason you took it?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
What a Difference a Day Makes
I'm feeling so much better today physically which had a direct effect on how I felt emotionally today compared to yesterday. Today was a great day. Work was still crazy but productive, we had family basketball clinics at the Y, followed by a killer, killer Zumba class with Tina and then home to read stories to the kids and eat dinner. I'm going to finish this post, shower and go to bed. This is how my days should go. I did well with my points today. I had my normal yogurt and cereal for breakfast, Chipotle veggie bowl for lunch, almonds for a snack, kashi granola bar before Zumba and a Trader Joe's chicken burrito for dinner.
Thanks for the comments on yesterday's posts. Kirsten, you crack me up :) I'm still debating what I want my goal to be. You all will be the first to know once I figure it out.
Thanks for the comments on yesterday's posts. Kirsten, you crack me up :) I'm still debating what I want my goal to be. You all will be the first to know once I figure it out.
Monday, November 8, 2010
I Need A Goal
I'm starting to slip and I need to do something about it right away. First of all I have to get what's left of the Halloween candy out of the house. Both Jim and I have been struggling with it. We need to at least get rid of the stuff that is our weakness and buy it back from the kids. I actually got into the Hersey Kisses at work today. I haven't done that in over a year. I feel my guard slipping and I need to do whatever it takes to build it back up. Chocolate is such a weakness for me and right now I'm not strong enough to even have it in moderation.
I need to re-evaluate how I use my WW flex points. I blew them all this weekend and then some and now I'll have to be very careful about what I eat the rest of the week to see a loss. In the past I've been ok with this plan, but I'm not feeling it right now, especially with my daily points having gone down recently.
One of the benefits of eating well and exercising for me has been I haven't been sick the last couple of years. I wasn't feeling well yesterday and still am not today which means I won't be going to Zumba tonight which makes me sad and worried about the exercise points I needed to get this week. No one likes being sick, but it's really hard for me - I get depressed. I told Jim this today and asked him to snuggle with me tonight and watch a movie with me which he happily agreed to - I think that will help.
I've read a couple of wellness blogs posts recently about people who have either reached goal or almost reached goal only to gain some or all of their weight back. I think this is such an important topic. I really need to educate myself more about it. I did experience it a little bit after reaching my under 200 pound goal. At first I found myself "rewarding myself" for reaching my goal by not being so strict. Then I experienced a feeling of "now what." And finally, I'm starting to see how much I can get away with before I gain weight back. All very dangerous situations.
So, I think I need another goal. A short term goal. Jim and I were talking about the holidays today. I was saying of the three holidays around this time a year, Halloween is the worst for me because of the lingering candy. Christmas is just a hard time of year because we're so busy it's harder to make the time to exercise. So - I'm going to give this some thought. Obviously I don't want to gain over the holidays (like I did last year), but I personally don't want to maintain either. I'd like to push myself and see a decent loss over the next few months. What do you guys think?
I need to re-evaluate how I use my WW flex points. I blew them all this weekend and then some and now I'll have to be very careful about what I eat the rest of the week to see a loss. In the past I've been ok with this plan, but I'm not feeling it right now, especially with my daily points having gone down recently.
One of the benefits of eating well and exercising for me has been I haven't been sick the last couple of years. I wasn't feeling well yesterday and still am not today which means I won't be going to Zumba tonight which makes me sad and worried about the exercise points I needed to get this week. No one likes being sick, but it's really hard for me - I get depressed. I told Jim this today and asked him to snuggle with me tonight and watch a movie with me which he happily agreed to - I think that will help.
I've read a couple of wellness blogs posts recently about people who have either reached goal or almost reached goal only to gain some or all of their weight back. I think this is such an important topic. I really need to educate myself more about it. I did experience it a little bit after reaching my under 200 pound goal. At first I found myself "rewarding myself" for reaching my goal by not being so strict. Then I experienced a feeling of "now what." And finally, I'm starting to see how much I can get away with before I gain weight back. All very dangerous situations.
So, I think I need another goal. A short term goal. Jim and I were talking about the holidays today. I was saying of the three holidays around this time a year, Halloween is the worst for me because of the lingering candy. Christmas is just a hard time of year because we're so busy it's harder to make the time to exercise. So - I'm going to give this some thought. Obviously I don't want to gain over the holidays (like I did last year), but I personally don't want to maintain either. I'd like to push myself and see a decent loss over the next few months. What do you guys think?
Friday, November 5, 2010
Weigh In - A Loss After Vacation and Blue Friday
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 199.6
Current weight - 198.8
Difference - lost .8 pound
Total weight lost - 46.2
_________________________________________________
I'm so excited to post a loss the weigh-in after my vacation. I really hadn't considered it an option. Here's what I attribute to the loss.
P.S. Have I told you how much I love Blue Fridays? GO COLTS!!!
Previous weight - 199.6
Current weight - 198.8
Difference - lost .8 pound
Total weight lost - 46.2
_________________________________________________
I'm so excited to post a loss the weigh-in after my vacation. I really hadn't considered it an option. Here's what I attribute to the loss.
- First of all, earlier in the week I wrote about the head trash I had going on about how I hadn't gained much while being "off plan" and the temptation to stay off plan. After some reflection the biggest argument I have against that thinking is that I would have had a much larger loss this week had I not been "off plan" during vacation. It's easy to forget that.
- I was really focused before my vacation and made sure I saved as many weekly points as I could going into vacation. I also made exercise a priority when it would have been so easy to skip it to get packing and housework done
- I didn't go totally crazy on vacation. I tried to balance healthier lunches when I knew I was going to indulge at dinner. I also only had one dessert during the vacation and had looked forward to that crepe all week.
- I did get some exercise in while on vacation. I hit the elliptical one day and took a couple of really long walks with Jim.
- After I got my head back together Sunday night I got right back on plan Monday morning. I started tracking points again and hit Zumba on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday as planned.
P.S. Have I told you how much I love Blue Fridays? GO COLTS!!!
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| never fails - the best photos I take are the one shot that I don't smile :) |
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Random Thoughts for 6:30 a.m.
Do you ever go to bed excited to fall asleep because you know you'll be awake soon with a whole new set of WW points and you can eat again? That was me last night. I'm looking forward to my bowl of vanilla yogurt and cereal. I might even make a smoothie if I have time.
The scale shows I'm under 200 pounds again. Woo Hoo! Just in time for my weigh-in tomorrow. I'd love to post a non-gain tomorrow, but I'd be happy with the 199.8 I showed just now.
Have a great day everyone. It's sure to be a crazy one for me - super, super busy at work getting ready for our big annual event in two weeks, parent/teacher conferences for both kids, homework, dinner, Zumba, shower, bed.
The scale shows I'm under 200 pounds again. Woo Hoo! Just in time for my weigh-in tomorrow. I'd love to post a non-gain tomorrow, but I'd be happy with the 199.8 I showed just now.
Have a great day everyone. It's sure to be a crazy one for me - super, super busy at work getting ready for our big annual event in two weeks, parent/teacher conferences for both kids, homework, dinner, Zumba, shower, bed.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Food Snob
I went to Kroger on Monday because our kitchen was empty. I can't count the number of times I picked something up, read the label and put the product back on the shelf.
I HAVE BECOME A FOOD SNOB
You know how you've always heard the wellness tip of shopping on the outside lanes of the grocery store? That's what I'm doing now. It all happened so gradually. First it was a trip to Whole Foods, then it was checking out some organic products and now it's avoiding high fructose corn syrup. I'm having a really hard time buying food for my kids that I know isn't good for them.
Thing is I didn't come home with much from Kroger. I have my staples - organic yogurt, Kashi cereal, Kashi granola bars, hummus, triscuits, low-fat pretzels, Kashi frozen meals, organic spaghettio's for Gracie, fruits and veggies, eggs, bagel thins and that's about it.
I need to get a little more adventurous at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's and try out some new products. I think Whole Foods has recipes on their web site. I just don't know where to start.
I haven't done any Clueless in the Kitchen blog posts in awhile. I'd loved to hear your recipes with products from Whole Foods and Trader Joes if you've got them. They need to be super quick or something I can make on the weekend that I can freeze.
I HAVE BECOME A FOOD SNOB
You know how you've always heard the wellness tip of shopping on the outside lanes of the grocery store? That's what I'm doing now. It all happened so gradually. First it was a trip to Whole Foods, then it was checking out some organic products and now it's avoiding high fructose corn syrup. I'm having a really hard time buying food for my kids that I know isn't good for them.
Thing is I didn't come home with much from Kroger. I have my staples - organic yogurt, Kashi cereal, Kashi granola bars, hummus, triscuits, low-fat pretzels, Kashi frozen meals, organic spaghettio's for Gracie, fruits and veggies, eggs, bagel thins and that's about it.
I need to get a little more adventurous at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's and try out some new products. I think Whole Foods has recipes on their web site. I just don't know where to start.
I haven't done any Clueless in the Kitchen blog posts in awhile. I'd loved to hear your recipes with products from Whole Foods and Trader Joes if you've got them. They need to be super quick or something I can make on the weekend that I can freeze.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Head Games
I really struggled yesterday. It's because I went off plan while I was on vacation, which I had planned on doing and was complete fine with, but it was the coming back from vacation and getting back on plan that I found harder than I anticipated.
I didn't count points on Sunday when we got home although I very well could have. I had lunch at Taco Bell and got a beef meximelt and chicken burrito. We picked up the kids from my parents and went home to relax for a few hours before trick-or-treating. It was at this point that I got into the Halloween candy. In my mind I justified it by saying I was still on vacation. I grabbed a couple of Kit Kats from the bag and went to my bedroom and ate them. Ah, I was reverting to my old way of binging - sneaking and shoving it down before anyone saw me or I could think about it. I went back two more times for some reece cups and snickers. I could have easily kept going but somehow I found the strength to stop.
After trick-or-treating I suggested picking up Little Ceasers for dinner. I had three pieces of pepperoni pizza and two pieces of crazy bread and a bunch of cheese sauce.
The difference between my eating on Sunday and how I ate on vacation was that I felt guilty after. I hadn't planned on doing it.
I started this post by saying I struggled on Monday. I think Monday was even harder than Sunday because I was making the choice to get back on plan and it was hard. I wanted to continue eating candy and greasy food but I didn't.
There's another big struggle I've had since I've gotten home and it's a huge mind game. I mentioned yesterday that I was up about four pounds. I was expecting that number to be higher. For some reason I was envisioning a 12 pound gain. Honestly, that's what I was thinking. I have been so perfect on my plan. I'm within my points every week and I get in a lot of exercise and I thought since I went off plan on vacation that I would totally screw everything up - or I was afraid - mostly I just didn't know what to expect so I expected the worst. So when I saw I had gained four pounds I was relieved. The thing is that number has been fluctuating a lot since Sunday and as of this morning I was at less than a two pound gain from my vacation.
So, instead of being excited about getting the vacation weight off faster than I anticipated I've been playing these mind games with myself. I'm thinking - if I can go off plan for five days and only gain two pounds than surely I can have a few more reece cups. Why don't I stop for a cheeseburger and fries instead of having that frozen Kashi meal for dinner. Ack, I haven't had this crap talk in my head for so long. It helps to write it out here.
I'm getting stronger with each day and I've been to Zumba the last two nights. I'm tracking my points and I'm realizing that 26 points doesn't get me much when I'm not making healthy food choices. That's right, I lost another daily point when I got below 200 pounds. I started out at 30 points a day and now I'm at 26. I'll keep doing what I'm doing and I will get back to where I was - every day is still a learning experience.
I didn't count points on Sunday when we got home although I very well could have. I had lunch at Taco Bell and got a beef meximelt and chicken burrito. We picked up the kids from my parents and went home to relax for a few hours before trick-or-treating. It was at this point that I got into the Halloween candy. In my mind I justified it by saying I was still on vacation. I grabbed a couple of Kit Kats from the bag and went to my bedroom and ate them. Ah, I was reverting to my old way of binging - sneaking and shoving it down before anyone saw me or I could think about it. I went back two more times for some reece cups and snickers. I could have easily kept going but somehow I found the strength to stop.
After trick-or-treating I suggested picking up Little Ceasers for dinner. I had three pieces of pepperoni pizza and two pieces of crazy bread and a bunch of cheese sauce.
The difference between my eating on Sunday and how I ate on vacation was that I felt guilty after. I hadn't planned on doing it.
I started this post by saying I struggled on Monday. I think Monday was even harder than Sunday because I was making the choice to get back on plan and it was hard. I wanted to continue eating candy and greasy food but I didn't.
There's another big struggle I've had since I've gotten home and it's a huge mind game. I mentioned yesterday that I was up about four pounds. I was expecting that number to be higher. For some reason I was envisioning a 12 pound gain. Honestly, that's what I was thinking. I have been so perfect on my plan. I'm within my points every week and I get in a lot of exercise and I thought since I went off plan on vacation that I would totally screw everything up - or I was afraid - mostly I just didn't know what to expect so I expected the worst. So when I saw I had gained four pounds I was relieved. The thing is that number has been fluctuating a lot since Sunday and as of this morning I was at less than a two pound gain from my vacation.
So, instead of being excited about getting the vacation weight off faster than I anticipated I've been playing these mind games with myself. I'm thinking - if I can go off plan for five days and only gain two pounds than surely I can have a few more reece cups. Why don't I stop for a cheeseburger and fries instead of having that frozen Kashi meal for dinner. Ack, I haven't had this crap talk in my head for so long. It helps to write it out here.
I'm getting stronger with each day and I've been to Zumba the last two nights. I'm tracking my points and I'm realizing that 26 points doesn't get me much when I'm not making healthy food choices. That's right, I lost another daily point when I got below 200 pounds. I started out at 30 points a day and now I'm at 26. I'll keep doing what I'm doing and I will get back to where I was - every day is still a learning experience.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Back From Vacation and Still Working on Image Issues
I'm back :) Jim and I left bright and early last Wednesday morning for Hollywood, Florida. We went with several other couples from his office. We both had been looking so forward to this trip since it was announced at his office Christmas party last year, especially knowing it would fall so close to our 10 year wedding anniversary.
Here, let me share a few photos:
The vacation was wonderful. We spent most of our time at the pool with the other couples and the rest of the time eating.
I'm up four pounds at this point. I will be able to do some damage to that number this week. I'll be hitting the gym hard and getting right back on the points bandwagon. My biggest challenge will be staying out of the kid's Halloween candy. I know if I have even one piece it will be hard for me to stop from binging on it.
As my blog post title hints at I did have some unexpected image issues to deal with on this vacation. I was really, really excited about how I looked going into the vacation. I even went to Old Navy last week and got some tank tops in size large that were on super clearance.
The first day we were there I put on my swim suit and a cute blue spaghetti strap cotton dress that I got at Old Navy as a cover up and headed down to the pool with Jim to meet up with some friends. I felt awesome. I had a lot of confidence and loved that I was so comfortable. After we had some lunch, Jim and I got in the pool with two other couples. I felt great.
Fast forward to the next day. I ended up taking a nap after Jim and I had lunch and Jim went down to the pool. After I woke up I put on my suit and the blue cotton dress and headed down to the pool with my book and sunscreen. I found Jim and set myself up on one of the beach chairs to start reading. As I was sitting there and Jim introduced me to more and more of the guys from his office and their wives something because very apparent to me. All of the wives were wearing bikinis. Every single one of them. I found my confidence starting to waver. I kept my blue cover up on over my black one piece bathing suit with skirt and I stayed out of the pool. I struggled with these feelings for a few hours and then I realized that I was responsible for how I was feeling. These women that I was meeting were honestly all so sweet and nice and made me feel so welcome to the group. I did not feel judged by them although I was sitting there judging all of them on how they looked. I remembered how I had felt the day before. So proud, so comfortable and I tried to get back to that feeling. I was able to spend the rest of the trip enjoying how far I have come. I did get in the pool and push the negative self-talk out of my head.
Here, let me share a few photos:
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| Westin Diplomat |
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| We were right on the beach and had perfect weather the entire trip. |
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| Getting ready to head to the pool on our first day. |
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| Me and Elaine at dinner. |
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| Headed to dinner on our last night |
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| Taking a nice long walk on the beach back to our hotel. |
I'm up four pounds at this point. I will be able to do some damage to that number this week. I'll be hitting the gym hard and getting right back on the points bandwagon. My biggest challenge will be staying out of the kid's Halloween candy. I know if I have even one piece it will be hard for me to stop from binging on it.
As my blog post title hints at I did have some unexpected image issues to deal with on this vacation. I was really, really excited about how I looked going into the vacation. I even went to Old Navy last week and got some tank tops in size large that were on super clearance.
The first day we were there I put on my swim suit and a cute blue spaghetti strap cotton dress that I got at Old Navy as a cover up and headed down to the pool with Jim to meet up with some friends. I felt awesome. I had a lot of confidence and loved that I was so comfortable. After we had some lunch, Jim and I got in the pool with two other couples. I felt great.
Fast forward to the next day. I ended up taking a nap after Jim and I had lunch and Jim went down to the pool. After I woke up I put on my suit and the blue cotton dress and headed down to the pool with my book and sunscreen. I found Jim and set myself up on one of the beach chairs to start reading. As I was sitting there and Jim introduced me to more and more of the guys from his office and their wives something because very apparent to me. All of the wives were wearing bikinis. Every single one of them. I found my confidence starting to waver. I kept my blue cover up on over my black one piece bathing suit with skirt and I stayed out of the pool. I struggled with these feelings for a few hours and then I realized that I was responsible for how I was feeling. These women that I was meeting were honestly all so sweet and nice and made me feel so welcome to the group. I did not feel judged by them although I was sitting there judging all of them on how they looked. I remembered how I had felt the day before. So proud, so comfortable and I tried to get back to that feeling. I was able to spend the rest of the trip enjoying how far I have come. I did get in the pool and push the negative self-talk out of my head.
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