Well my camping post is going to have to wait until I get back. I'm still packing and need to get to bed a decent hour.
I am proud of myself for going to Zumba tonight. I could have easily used being too busy as an excuse not to go but I didn't and I really enjoyed it.
So I'll be back in a few days friends. Have a great week.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Change is Hard
We had a wonderful time camping over the weekend. I'm hoping I have time to post about it tomorrow and share photos. I need to spend some time writing the recap and I don't have it tonight. I'm in panic mode right now. I need to pack for vacation and I'm running out of time like I always do. I'm also super busy at work so no spare time there either. And why is it I never plan ahead and schedule getting my hair/eyebrows done before vacations like I know I should.
Zumba tonight and tomorrow night were a priority for me this week having missed the last three classes since we were out of town and knowing I'll miss four classes while I'm on vacation. At class tonight I was shocked to learn my favorite Zumba instructor is leaving the YMCA to pursue other opportunities. Just shocked. I went through the first half of class like a zombie wondering what I was going to do. Do I talk to Jim about cancelling my membership to follow her? Do I hope I will like the new instructors as much as I like her? I looked around the room about midway through the class and notice a lot of sad faces. And then I was like screw it. I can't blame her for leaving. I understand that she has to do what's best for her and I'm sure it was not easy to come to class tonight and make the announcement that she was leaving. I'm grateful for every class she's ever lead me in and for every inch she's helped me lose and I will always appreciate what she's done for me. Unfortunately for me, this isn't the first time I've had a favorite Zumba instructor leave the YMCA and I can see now that it probably won't be the last time either. I realized tonight might be my last class with her and I needed to make the most of it with no regrets. So I put a smile on my face and gave it my all for the rest of class.
Zumba tonight and tomorrow night were a priority for me this week having missed the last three classes since we were out of town and knowing I'll miss four classes while I'm on vacation. At class tonight I was shocked to learn my favorite Zumba instructor is leaving the YMCA to pursue other opportunities. Just shocked. I went through the first half of class like a zombie wondering what I was going to do. Do I talk to Jim about cancelling my membership to follow her? Do I hope I will like the new instructors as much as I like her? I looked around the room about midway through the class and notice a lot of sad faces. And then I was like screw it. I can't blame her for leaving. I understand that she has to do what's best for her and I'm sure it was not easy to come to class tonight and make the announcement that she was leaving. I'm grateful for every class she's ever lead me in and for every inch she's helped me lose and I will always appreciate what she's done for me. Unfortunately for me, this isn't the first time I've had a favorite Zumba instructor leave the YMCA and I can see now that it probably won't be the last time either. I realized tonight might be my last class with her and I needed to make the most of it with no regrets. So I put a smile on my face and gave it my all for the rest of class.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Weigh In - And a Wonderful Night
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 201
Current weight - 199.6
Difference - lost 1.4 pound
Total weight lost - 45.4
_________________________________________________
Earlier in the week I had posted a question on Facebook asking my friends which steakhouse Jim and I should go to on our anniversary. We decided to go with the majority and try Morton's Steakhouse which neither of us had been to.
We dropped off the kids at my parents and my Mom took this photo of us.
We made our way downtown to the restaurant where they pulled out the table for us so we could cozy into the booth. I looked down on the table and saw this.
Such a nice touch!
Jim told me he had something for me. I was not expecting this at all, especially since he had gotten me beautiful flowers delivered to my office today. Then I saw him pull this out.
He had started the scrapbook with a personal letter that quickly had me in tears and they continued to fall as I turned the pages and saw the photos he picked out. When I got to the page in the photo directly above I looked at Jim and said "what's this?"
I recognized the stationary from our good friends Jody and Kevin's house and I thought maybe Jim had put together some souvenir type papers together of people's invitations and maybe some old notes I had written him. I pulled out the first paper and glanced down at the bottom and saw that it was signed by Jim's best friend Jeff and his wife and our good friend Tangela. I realized all the papers in the pocket were notes from our family and friends wishing us a happy anniversary. It was just too much. The fact that Jim came up with this idea because he knows me and knew that I would love it, plus the fact that our friends had added to our special day meant so much to me.
I absolutely loved the gift and will remember it for the rest of my life. After I dried away the tears and looked through the book a second time I was able to hear the story of how Jim was able to pull off the surprise. I'm usually pretty good about figuring stuff out but I had no idea that he had any of this going on. He told me about "fake meetings" he had last week and how he had gone over to Jeff's house for what I thought was to watch the Colts game but it was actually for Tangela to help him with the scrapbook. And our friend Tracey met Jim at Archivers to help put the pages together and he said all the ladies in the store were just swooning over him when they found out what he was doing. Jim even had the girls in his office in on it helping him out. It is such a great story.
My sister-in-law Kim and brother Erick sent this photo collage from Maryland for the scrapbook (I had to take this with my phone, my camera battery just died).
After all the excitement was over. I lifted my head a little to see if anyone had been watching. Luckily it was pretty empty in the restaurant and no one was looking. I recomposed myself and Jim and I studied the menu and listen to our waiter Matthew tell us about all the wonderful food.
We started with lobster bisque and french onion soup which were both amazing.
For dinner I got the lump crab cakes. They were fabulous.
Jim got the porterhouse. I had a few bites and it was amazing.
We finished off our fabulous dinner with this amazing dessert compliments of Morton's. It was heaven.
It was a great dinner and such a wonderful surprise from Jim. Matthew took our photo and came back with this keepsake that I will add to the scrapbook.
Previous weight - 201
Current weight - 199.6
Difference - lost 1.4 pound
Total weight lost - 45.4
_________________________________________________
Earlier in the week I had posted a question on Facebook asking my friends which steakhouse Jim and I should go to on our anniversary. We decided to go with the majority and try Morton's Steakhouse which neither of us had been to.
We dropped off the kids at my parents and my Mom took this photo of us.
Jim told me he had something for me. I was not expecting this at all, especially since he had gotten me beautiful flowers delivered to my office today. Then I saw him pull this out.
He had started the scrapbook with a personal letter that quickly had me in tears and they continued to fall as I turned the pages and saw the photos he picked out. When I got to the page in the photo directly above I looked at Jim and said "what's this?"
I recognized the stationary from our good friends Jody and Kevin's house and I thought maybe Jim had put together some souvenir type papers together of people's invitations and maybe some old notes I had written him. I pulled out the first paper and glanced down at the bottom and saw that it was signed by Jim's best friend Jeff and his wife and our good friend Tangela. I realized all the papers in the pocket were notes from our family and friends wishing us a happy anniversary. It was just too much. The fact that Jim came up with this idea because he knows me and knew that I would love it, plus the fact that our friends had added to our special day meant so much to me.
I absolutely loved the gift and will remember it for the rest of my life. After I dried away the tears and looked through the book a second time I was able to hear the story of how Jim was able to pull off the surprise. I'm usually pretty good about figuring stuff out but I had no idea that he had any of this going on. He told me about "fake meetings" he had last week and how he had gone over to Jeff's house for what I thought was to watch the Colts game but it was actually for Tangela to help him with the scrapbook. And our friend Tracey met Jim at Archivers to help put the pages together and he said all the ladies in the store were just swooning over him when they found out what he was doing. Jim even had the girls in his office in on it helping him out. It is such a great story.
My sister-in-law Kim and brother Erick sent this photo collage from Maryland for the scrapbook (I had to take this with my phone, my camera battery just died).
After all the excitement was over. I lifted my head a little to see if anyone had been watching. Luckily it was pretty empty in the restaurant and no one was looking. I recomposed myself and Jim and I studied the menu and listen to our waiter Matthew tell us about all the wonderful food.
We started with lobster bisque and french onion soup which were both amazing.
For dinner I got the lump crab cakes. They were fabulous.
We finished off our fabulous dinner with this amazing dessert compliments of Morton's. It was heaven.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Best 10 Years of My Life
Once upon a time there was a funny boy who caught the eye of a shy girl and they became friends.
They liked to talk about music, eat Little Debbie snacks and laugh.
And then they graduated from high school and went off to college.
But they stayed in touch all year. She would send him Ren & Stimpy post cards and he would come and visit her at school. And then he got her a job working at the summer camp he grew up at.
And they fell in love.
And so they dated for six years.
And then one day the best friends got married.
And to put the finishing touches on their happily ever after, they started a family.
Wishing a very happy tenth anniversary to my best friend Jim today. I love you. Thanks for my beautiful flowers.
AND as promised. Here are photos of me in my wedding dress :) I think it actually fits better now than it did ten years ago.
__________________________________________
AND as promised. Here are photos of me in my wedding dress :) I think it actually fits better now than it did ten years ago.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Dress Shopping Fun
I have a Simon gift card burning a hole in my pocket so I did some dress shopping at Macy's the other day. I didn't buy any of these but it was fun to pick dresses that I thought were cute and try them on and most of them looked pretty good. This is a far cry from my experience back in June (which was nearly 20 pounds ago). Most of these dresses were size 14 :)
Our anniversary dinner is tomorrow night so I might buy one of these dresses tomorrow. I don't know though. Are there any clear favorites?
Our anniversary dinner is tomorrow night so I might buy one of these dresses tomorrow. I don't know though. Are there any clear favorites?
 |
| This was a really cute sweater dress I tried on. I could probably pull this off with some major spanx help. |
 |
| This dress was too tight on bottom, but I love the way it looked on top. I'm so excited to wear cute tops next summer. |
 |
| This looked cuter in person |
 |
| Too hippy. I needed to stand to the side like I did in the other photos ;) |
 |
| I think this one looks the best, but I'm not really a ruffle girl. |
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Onederland
I jumped on the scale when I got home from work tonight and this is what I saw.
It still hasn't entirely sunk in.
I know I've worked really hard for this. I know I'm really proud. And I know I'm not done yet.
I'm going to enjoy the moment for now.
I know I've worked really hard for this. I know I'm really proud. And I know I'm not done yet.
I'm going to enjoy the moment for now.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Put Down the Fork Already
Three times in the past three days I've eaten to the point that I've been uncomfortable. I've planned out what I was going to eat according to my Weight Watcher points and when I've gotten to the point that I was full, I kept eating. Why is it that these things that seem so simple are sometimes the hardest things to change about ourselves?
My first example was an early dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory on Saturday evening. I've been wanting to go there with the kids for several years and we finally went there after going to the ZooBoo with the grandparents (ha - excuse to show photos of the kids:)
Jim and I must have been a sight - I was on my phone trying to find nutrition info before the waiter came back for a third time to take our order. I ended up getting the spaghetti with marinara and mushrooms which I found online to be around 10 points. I had the points available so I felt good about it. But there is something still in my brain that is messed up when it comes to portion control. I had the plate of pasta in front of me, knew that I could eat it all and so I ate every bite until it was gone although I could have easily been satisfied only eating half.
Last night I fixed a quick dinner of organic chicken nuggets and fruit for the kids and popped in a Kashi coconut lemon chicken dinner for myself. Gracie is my slow eater so I was sitting with her until she finished. She actually was close to being done and I still had half of my meal left so I started shoveling it in. I wanted to finish at the same time as her so I could turn Alvin and the Chipmunks back on for her and I could clean up the kitchen and get started preparing for the school week. As I was eating the last couple of bites I realized I didn't even really want them. I was forcing it down. Why? Seriously, it seems so silly to even write this. It must be the years and years of how I've always done things and this is one area I haven't re-taught myself yet.
Last example, today I went to McAlister's for my spud ole with veggie chili. It's been awhile since I've had it and I was really hungry. Usually I eat all the insides and then about a quarter of the skin, but today it was baked perfectly so I started cutting the whole giant spud up and eating it skin and all. It was so good. Once I got about half way through I realized how full I was getting and was wondering if I was going to be able to eat it all. Because, of course I would need to eat it all - no reason to waste the points I had already accounted for. I got to the last quarter section of the potato and I realized how ridiculous I was being and I put the fork down.
For the next three hours I was really, really uncomfortable. No, really - that was the must uncomfortable I've been in a really long time. I just felt so full. What a gross feeling.
The thing is I used to eat that potato and a giant cookie and still be hungry. Everything is getting smaller ...
My stomach has to be getting smaller
My daily points have gone from 30 to 27 in the past month
My Zumba workout points have gone from 8 to 7 in the past couple of weeks
It's time my mind catches up to what is obviously going on around me.
I'm still feeling pretty full right now. I'm so anxious to get to Zumba tonight and work some of this potato off. I'll feel so much better after I'm sure.
ACTUALLY ...
The more I think about this now, I wonder if this new medication I'm on has anything to do with this uncomfortable feeling I'm having. I assumed if I noticed any effects that it would be a lack of hunger, not a feeling a fullness. What do you guys think?
My first example was an early dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory on Saturday evening. I've been wanting to go there with the kids for several years and we finally went there after going to the ZooBoo with the grandparents (ha - excuse to show photos of the kids:)
 |
| Death Eater and Princess Giselle |
Jim and I must have been a sight - I was on my phone trying to find nutrition info before the waiter came back for a third time to take our order. I ended up getting the spaghetti with marinara and mushrooms which I found online to be around 10 points. I had the points available so I felt good about it. But there is something still in my brain that is messed up when it comes to portion control. I had the plate of pasta in front of me, knew that I could eat it all and so I ate every bite until it was gone although I could have easily been satisfied only eating half.
 |
| Dinner on the trolley at Old Spaghetti Factory |
Last night I fixed a quick dinner of organic chicken nuggets and fruit for the kids and popped in a Kashi coconut lemon chicken dinner for myself. Gracie is my slow eater so I was sitting with her until she finished. She actually was close to being done and I still had half of my meal left so I started shoveling it in. I wanted to finish at the same time as her so I could turn Alvin and the Chipmunks back on for her and I could clean up the kitchen and get started preparing for the school week. As I was eating the last couple of bites I realized I didn't even really want them. I was forcing it down. Why? Seriously, it seems so silly to even write this. It must be the years and years of how I've always done things and this is one area I haven't re-taught myself yet.
Last example, today I went to McAlister's for my spud ole with veggie chili. It's been awhile since I've had it and I was really hungry. Usually I eat all the insides and then about a quarter of the skin, but today it was baked perfectly so I started cutting the whole giant spud up and eating it skin and all. It was so good. Once I got about half way through I realized how full I was getting and was wondering if I was going to be able to eat it all. Because, of course I would need to eat it all - no reason to waste the points I had already accounted for. I got to the last quarter section of the potato and I realized how ridiculous I was being and I put the fork down.
For the next three hours I was really, really uncomfortable. No, really - that was the must uncomfortable I've been in a really long time. I just felt so full. What a gross feeling.
The thing is I used to eat that potato and a giant cookie and still be hungry. Everything is getting smaller ...
My stomach has to be getting smaller
My daily points have gone from 30 to 27 in the past month
My Zumba workout points have gone from 8 to 7 in the past couple of weeks
It's time my mind catches up to what is obviously going on around me.
I'm still feeling pretty full right now. I'm so anxious to get to Zumba tonight and work some of this potato off. I'll feel so much better after I'm sure.
ACTUALLY ...
The more I think about this now, I wonder if this new medication I'm on has anything to do with this uncomfortable feeling I'm having. I assumed if I noticed any effects that it would be a lack of hunger, not a feeling a fullness. What do you guys think?
 |
| My adorable kids at the pumpkin patch yesterday. |
Friday, October 15, 2010
Weigh In - One pound to go for mini goal
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 202.4
Current weight - 201
Difference - lost 1.4 pound
Total weight lost - 44
_________________________________________________
My ten year anniversary is Thursday. I'm very excited that I'm going to make my goal of getting to under 200 pounds by my anniversary. I plan to get out my wedding dress and put it on for the first time since my wedding day. I'll take photos too :)
When I started Weight Watchers in 2009 I set my goal weight at 175. I think I will get down to 180 and evaluate what I want my actual goal weight to be.
Previous weight - 202.4
Current weight - 201
Difference - lost 1.4 pound
Total weight lost - 44
My ten year anniversary is Thursday. I'm very excited that I'm going to make my goal of getting to under 200 pounds by my anniversary. I plan to get out my wedding dress and put it on for the first time since my wedding day. I'll take photos too :)
When I started Weight Watchers in 2009 I set my goal weight at 175. I think I will get down to 180 and evaluate what I want my actual goal weight to be.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Good Day Thursday
Good news: the scale finally budged today. I should have a decent weigh-in tomorrow morning.
I had a very busy day. Full-day strategic planning meeting out of the office. I did well with my food choices. I brought a Kashi bar and ate fruit for breakfast. Lunch was a delicious salad with vinaigrette dressing, grilled veggies and turkey sandwich without cheese and half the bun removed. Pre-Zumba snack of Kashi cereal and yogurt.
I just got home from a killer Zumba class. Need to get the kids to bed, eat some dinner, shower and relax a bit before I drift off to sleep myself.
Have a great Friday everyone. I'll post my weight on the sidebar in the morning.
I had a very busy day. Full-day strategic planning meeting out of the office. I did well with my food choices. I brought a Kashi bar and ate fruit for breakfast. Lunch was a delicious salad with vinaigrette dressing, grilled veggies and turkey sandwich without cheese and half the bun removed. Pre-Zumba snack of Kashi cereal and yogurt.
I just got home from a killer Zumba class. Need to get the kids to bed, eat some dinner, shower and relax a bit before I drift off to sleep myself.
Have a great Friday everyone. I'll post my weight on the sidebar in the morning.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Pretzels, Appetite Suppressants and New Photos
The scale hasn't budged all week. I'll wait until tomorrow to be nervous.
Today's post will consist of a couple of random thoughts and some recent photos.
Monday night after I got home from the gym and ate dinner, Jim and I sat down to watch the latest episode of Boardwalk Empire (love this new show). I was still hungry and had some points left over so I grabbed our bag of low-fat pretzels and roasted red pepper hummus. Good news is Jim finally tried the hummus and he likes it. Bad news is I didn't count out my 18 pretzels that made up one serving.
I never do this. I always count it out. Instead I just ate enough until I was satisfied. Personally this does not work for me. I didn't think anything of it until I was entering my points into Weight Watchers yesterday morning and I had to guess how many servings I ate the previous night. Lesson learned.
My other random thought is that both my neurologist and the pharmacist mentioned to me that one of the side effects of my new cluster headache medicine is weight loss. Both times I was told this I just looked at the men with blank stares on my face. I don't know how to feel about it.
Previous to my weight loss I would have been super excited about the possibility of pill helping me lose weight. Now, not so much. I want to do this on my own. I don't like the idea of this medicine messing with what I'm doing. Hmm. Not sure about this one. It's only been two days and I haven't noticed any difference in my appetite yet. On the headache front I did have one headache yesterday which wasn't too bad and I woke up with one this morning. I've lowered my dose of Alieve, but am still taking it. I'll keep my head up though.
Ok, I noticed I hadn't posted any photos of myself recently. Here's one I took yesterday at work. This is my favorite dress right now. It's funny, one of my co-workers always compliments me and she does it in the most random way that I'm usually caught off guard but end up with a huge smile on my face. Yesterday I was in a co-workers office talking to her and another staff person asking a question about one of our speakers and mid-way into the conversation she looks at me and says - "by the way when I saw you this morning it looked like you lost 50 pounds over the weekend." She cracks me up.
Today's post will consist of a couple of random thoughts and some recent photos.
Monday night after I got home from the gym and ate dinner, Jim and I sat down to watch the latest episode of Boardwalk Empire (love this new show). I was still hungry and had some points left over so I grabbed our bag of low-fat pretzels and roasted red pepper hummus. Good news is Jim finally tried the hummus and he likes it. Bad news is I didn't count out my 18 pretzels that made up one serving.
I never do this. I always count it out. Instead I just ate enough until I was satisfied. Personally this does not work for me. I didn't think anything of it until I was entering my points into Weight Watchers yesterday morning and I had to guess how many servings I ate the previous night. Lesson learned.
My other random thought is that both my neurologist and the pharmacist mentioned to me that one of the side effects of my new cluster headache medicine is weight loss. Both times I was told this I just looked at the men with blank stares on my face. I don't know how to feel about it.
Previous to my weight loss I would have been super excited about the possibility of pill helping me lose weight. Now, not so much. I want to do this on my own. I don't like the idea of this medicine messing with what I'm doing. Hmm. Not sure about this one. It's only been two days and I haven't noticed any difference in my appetite yet. On the headache front I did have one headache yesterday which wasn't too bad and I woke up with one this morning. I've lowered my dose of Alieve, but am still taking it. I'll keep my head up though.
Ok, I noticed I hadn't posted any photos of myself recently. Here's one I took yesterday at work. This is my favorite dress right now. It's funny, one of my co-workers always compliments me and she does it in the most random way that I'm usually caught off guard but end up with a huge smile on my face. Yesterday I was in a co-workers office talking to her and another staff person asking a question about one of our speakers and mid-way into the conversation she looks at me and says - "by the way when I saw you this morning it looked like you lost 50 pounds over the weekend." She cracks me up.
And I was feeling pretty good on Saturday morning when I was getting ready for Zumba so I snapped this photo. (Ignore the messy mirror)
It's pretty easy for me to make it to Saturday morning Zumba because our kids have swim lessons right before it starts so I'm already going to be at the Y. Here are my cute kiddos ready for lessons last Saturday.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Elliptical Machine - My New Favorite?
Last night our cub scout pack met at the bowling alley so the boys could earn their bowling belt loop. It was super fun and I enjoyed hanging out with the other parents and chatting. Usually our meetings are on Wednesday night so that meant that I missed Zumba last night. I also missed on Sunday because of my headaches.
While we were at Subway eating dinner with the family before we went bowling last night I mentioned to Jim that I might want to go to the YMCA after the meeting since I've missed my past two workouts. This is a good tactic for me - once I put it out there I have a hard time backing out. Jim said he could handle bedtime.
After we got home, I changed and gave the kids kisses. I stopped at the drug store to get my new prescriptions (no headaches today :) and then went off to the YMCA. It was around 8:30 p.m. when I got there which is late for me. [Update - I spoke too soon and got a headache shortly after I posted this :(]
When I got there I walked past this sign and laughed and then decided to go back and take a photo.
I have a special relationship with my gym. It's really, really important to me. I've mentioned before but it's worth repeating - we've had a family membership to the YMCA pretty much for the past 10 years. Prior to last year I probably used it a dozen times. I'm at the YMCA six days a week now. Five days for Zumba and one day for karate and ballet for the kids. That's a good solid seven hours a week. When you spend a lot of time in one place it becomes special. You have your favorite parking spot, favorite locker, favorite towel (I always get the dark blue ones).
I actually worked at a recreation center after I graduated from college so I know what it's like to be on the other side of the registration desk and that experience tells me that the people who work at the YMCA recognize me too. They know I go to Zumba. I also see the double takes when I walk in wearing jeans with my family on Friday night for the kids classes and they recognize me but it takes them a second to figure out who I am since I'm not in my Zumba gear.
It makes me feel special and who doesn't like feeling special?
So ... I decided I would do the elliptical last night. I wasn't excited about it. I'm not a fan of the workout room. I find it extremely boring and intimidating. At least I did before. Last night was a different experience.
I had my few seconds of awkwardness when I got on the machine and had to figure out where to put my phone and Jim's mp3 player (thanks honey) and then find the start button. I pushed the button for weight loss and started warming up while I cued up Guster's new album - Easy Wonderful.
The last time I used the elliptical at the YMCA was last winter when my sister-in-law Kim was in town and we exercised together all week. I was about 15 pounds heavier than I am now and I struggled with the elliptical. Last night I noticed I was handling it really well. I wasn't out of breath and I was almost enjoying myself. I was surprised.
I was in a good grove. I was at a part in the workout where the resistance was at an 8 and I was feeling strong. This song came on On The Ocean. (This song could easily be in used for an inspirational montage scene in a movie.)
So I'm rocking the elliptical, in the zone, listening to the awesome song and I glance down at the machine and I see my reflection in my phone. (I'm getting teary writing this now). I wasn't expecting to see that girl looking back at me.
I saw a girl that was strong. Not a girl with a double chin, or a baggy shirt, or low self-esteem. I had to look away before I started crying right there in that room. I regained my composure and looked back at my reflection several times over the next 20 minutes. I can't put into words how proud of myself I am for how far I've come. I'm really, really happy.
While we were at Subway eating dinner with the family before we went bowling last night I mentioned to Jim that I might want to go to the YMCA after the meeting since I've missed my past two workouts. This is a good tactic for me - once I put it out there I have a hard time backing out. Jim said he could handle bedtime.
After we got home, I changed and gave the kids kisses. I stopped at the drug store to get my new prescriptions (no headaches today :) and then went off to the YMCA. It was around 8:30 p.m. when I got there which is late for me. [Update - I spoke too soon and got a headache shortly after I posted this :(]
When I got there I walked past this sign and laughed and then decided to go back and take a photo.
I actually worked at a recreation center after I graduated from college so I know what it's like to be on the other side of the registration desk and that experience tells me that the people who work at the YMCA recognize me too. They know I go to Zumba. I also see the double takes when I walk in wearing jeans with my family on Friday night for the kids classes and they recognize me but it takes them a second to figure out who I am since I'm not in my Zumba gear.
It makes me feel special and who doesn't like feeling special?
So ... I decided I would do the elliptical last night. I wasn't excited about it. I'm not a fan of the workout room. I find it extremely boring and intimidating. At least I did before. Last night was a different experience.
I had my few seconds of awkwardness when I got on the machine and had to figure out where to put my phone and Jim's mp3 player (thanks honey) and then find the start button. I pushed the button for weight loss and started warming up while I cued up Guster's new album - Easy Wonderful.
The last time I used the elliptical at the YMCA was last winter when my sister-in-law Kim was in town and we exercised together all week. I was about 15 pounds heavier than I am now and I struggled with the elliptical. Last night I noticed I was handling it really well. I wasn't out of breath and I was almost enjoying myself. I was surprised.
I was in a good grove. I was at a part in the workout where the resistance was at an 8 and I was feeling strong. This song came on On The Ocean. (This song could easily be in used for an inspirational montage scene in a movie.)
So I'm rocking the elliptical, in the zone, listening to the awesome song and I glance down at the machine and I see my reflection in my phone. (I'm getting teary writing this now). I wasn't expecting to see that girl looking back at me.
I saw a girl that was strong. Not a girl with a double chin, or a baggy shirt, or low self-esteem. I had to look away before I started crying right there in that room. I regained my composure and looked back at my reflection several times over the next 20 minutes. I can't put into words how proud of myself I am for how far I've come. I'm really, really happy.
Monday, October 11, 2010
High Tolerance for Pain
I saw a new neurologist this morning and he prescribed me some new meds to treat my headaches. I haven't talked about this on my blog before and I haven't really talked to many people about it for that matter. For the past four years I get headaches three times a day, every day. Let me repeat that: three times a day, EVERY day. They last about 30 minutes and they are really painful.
My neurologist diagnosed me with what I've thought they were all along - cluster headaches. (Family, before you go out to webmd or wikipedia and look it up, read this first. My symptoms aren't as bad as described on those sites).
I started getting the headaches in 2006 and my family physician prescribed a daily medicine that prevented the headaches. As long as I took the meds I was fine. Two years later the medicine stopped working and she prescribed another medication. Same results - it worked for two years and then stopped. (I've also had two CT scans which came out normal). This past June was when the medicine stopped working and the new medicine she prescribed didn't work either.
So for the past four months I've been using Alieve to prevent the headaches which works about 50 percent of the time. It's to the point that the headaches are waking me up in the middle of the night from the pain. I'm really hoping that this new treatment works.
Wikipedia starts it's page about cluster headaches this way:
"Cluster headache, nicknamed 'suicide headache', is a neurological disease that involves, as its most prominent feature, an immense degree of pain."
Later it goes on to say:
"... experts have suggested that it may be the most painful condition known to medical science. Female patients have reported it as being more severe than childbirth."
Like I said above, mine are really painful, but they are not this painful. I think if I was experiencing the equivalent pain of childbirth three times a day I would be curled up in my bed indefinitely. I've dealt with them for so long I can talk myself through them. But they are starting to wear me down and I'm getting a bit depressed by them so I finally made the appointment to see this specialist today.
He said I'll see results right away and then when it stops working in two years we can try again (he had a weird sense of humor).
My neurologist diagnosed me with what I've thought they were all along - cluster headaches. (Family, before you go out to webmd or wikipedia and look it up, read this first. My symptoms aren't as bad as described on those sites).
I started getting the headaches in 2006 and my family physician prescribed a daily medicine that prevented the headaches. As long as I took the meds I was fine. Two years later the medicine stopped working and she prescribed another medication. Same results - it worked for two years and then stopped. (I've also had two CT scans which came out normal). This past June was when the medicine stopped working and the new medicine she prescribed didn't work either.
So for the past four months I've been using Alieve to prevent the headaches which works about 50 percent of the time. It's to the point that the headaches are waking me up in the middle of the night from the pain. I'm really hoping that this new treatment works.
Wikipedia starts it's page about cluster headaches this way:
"Cluster headache, nicknamed 'suicide headache', is a neurological disease that involves, as its most prominent feature, an immense degree of pain."
Later it goes on to say:
"... experts have suggested that it may be the most painful condition known to medical science. Female patients have reported it as being more severe than childbirth."
Like I said above, mine are really painful, but they are not this painful. I think if I was experiencing the equivalent pain of childbirth three times a day I would be curled up in my bed indefinitely. I've dealt with them for so long I can talk myself through them. But they are starting to wear me down and I'm getting a bit depressed by them so I finally made the appointment to see this specialist today.
He said I'll see results right away and then when it stops working in two years we can try again (he had a weird sense of humor).
Friday, October 8, 2010
Weigh In - Getting Excited Now
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 204
Current weight - 202.4
Difference - lost 1.6 pound
Total weight lost - 42.6
Ok, now I'm getting excited. Only two more weeks on my goal chart left.
For those that don't know, I set a goal at the end of July to get under 200 pounds by the week of my 10 year wedding anniversary (Oct. 21). When I made the chart above I wasn't sure if I could do it. I've set goals like this before and always failed at them. I'm pretty confident I can get 2.4 pounds off in the next two weeks.
I'm going to rock it this week!
Previous weight - 204
Current weight - 202.4
Difference - lost 1.6 pound
Total weight lost - 42.6
_______________________________________________________
Ok, now I'm getting excited. Only two more weeks on my goal chart left.
For those that don't know, I set a goal at the end of July to get under 200 pounds by the week of my 10 year wedding anniversary (Oct. 21). When I made the chart above I wasn't sure if I could do it. I've set goals like this before and always failed at them. I'm pretty confident I can get 2.4 pounds off in the next two weeks.
I'm going to rock it this week!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Yum Yums!
Jim got two thumbs up from the kids tonight. English Muffin pizzas. He said they were two points each. I had a bite before Zumba and it was delicious.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Scared of Change
A few weeks before I graduated from college I was with my parents at an outlet mall. I was standing with my dad outside of Eddie Bauer waiting for my mom who was inside shopping. My dad was making small talk with me and asked me if I was excited to be finishing up with school and after a few moments of silence from me I started crying.
I was scared. I hadn't realized it until that moment, but I was scared to death about my life changing. All I had known at that point in my life was school. Although I was ready to finally be done with school, I was scared of it being over. School wasn't my favorite thing, but at least I knew what to expect from it. What I didn't know was what was waiting for me in the real world. And I knew life was never going to be the same again.
I'm sure my dad gave me some words of wisdom and helped be over my panic attack. This memory is very clear to me. There have been other similar situations like this one that I have a vivid memories of. Here's another doozy ...
After Jim and I had Jacob we knew we wanted another baby, but we wanted to wait at least three years before trying to get pregnant again. A month after Jacob turned one (on Mother's Day no less) I took a pregnancy test and had the two brightest lines staring back at me telling me I was pregnant. I remember clearly watching Jacob in his crib as he slept, tears pouring down my face.
I was scared. This wasn't our plan. I was afraid for Jacob - how would a sibling fit into his life. I was scared for me and Jim - could we possible love another child as much as we loved Jacob. Nine months later this is what we were blessed with.
Jim and I both agree that this little "surprise" was the best thing that could have happened to us. We are so thankful that our kids are 20 months apart. Sure it was hard in the beginning but it has been so worth it. Our kids are so close. They love each other so much. They are 7 and 5 now and on the weekends it's a special treat for them because they get to have sleepovers in each others rooms.
My point (besides showing off photos of my kids) is that those big life changing moments that you know are about to happen are scary. For me it results in tears and panic attacks.
This is why I wasn't ready to hit 199 yesterday when I got on the scale and saw how close I was.
I haven't had time to get ready for it yet. Yes, I've been heavy the majority of my adult life and it's sucked, but at least I knew what to expect from it. I'm not a yo-yo dieter. I've never lost weight before and then gained it back. I've just steadily gained more and more weight over the years. Weight loss is a new experience for me.
My weight loss is really starting to show. Not only people that haven't seen me in awhile, but also people that see me every day are starting to tell me they have noticed my weight loss. I can take a compliment. I can sincerely say thank you and appreciate what they say. But it's the look on their face when they say it and it's my reaction when I see myself in the mirror that has me freaked out.
I hadn't realized how scared I was of all of these changes until the last few weeks. Just like when my dad asked me about school and I didn't know until that moment that I was scared of the new changes. Don't get me wrong. I'm very excited about all this. It's just all so new and I don't know what to expect. I need to spend some time preparing myself for what's to come. I know it's just a number on a scale but it represents much more to me. It was a number I never thought would be possible to achieve. I had written it off. 199 was what I weighed when I was married 10 years ago; two babies ago. But I'm right there. It's coming and I want to be ready for it.
I was scared. I hadn't realized it until that moment, but I was scared to death about my life changing. All I had known at that point in my life was school. Although I was ready to finally be done with school, I was scared of it being over. School wasn't my favorite thing, but at least I knew what to expect from it. What I didn't know was what was waiting for me in the real world. And I knew life was never going to be the same again.
I'm sure my dad gave me some words of wisdom and helped be over my panic attack. This memory is very clear to me. There have been other similar situations like this one that I have a vivid memories of. Here's another doozy ...
After Jim and I had Jacob we knew we wanted another baby, but we wanted to wait at least three years before trying to get pregnant again. A month after Jacob turned one (on Mother's Day no less) I took a pregnancy test and had the two brightest lines staring back at me telling me I was pregnant. I remember clearly watching Jacob in his crib as he slept, tears pouring down my face.
 |
| My little Jacob |
I was scared. This wasn't our plan. I was afraid for Jacob - how would a sibling fit into his life. I was scared for me and Jim - could we possible love another child as much as we loved Jacob. Nine months later this is what we were blessed with.
 |
| My Gracie Girl |
My point (besides showing off photos of my kids) is that those big life changing moments that you know are about to happen are scary. For me it results in tears and panic attacks.
This is why I wasn't ready to hit 199 yesterday when I got on the scale and saw how close I was.
I haven't had time to get ready for it yet. Yes, I've been heavy the majority of my adult life and it's sucked, but at least I knew what to expect from it. I'm not a yo-yo dieter. I've never lost weight before and then gained it back. I've just steadily gained more and more weight over the years. Weight loss is a new experience for me.
My weight loss is really starting to show. Not only people that haven't seen me in awhile, but also people that see me every day are starting to tell me they have noticed my weight loss. I can take a compliment. I can sincerely say thank you and appreciate what they say. But it's the look on their face when they say it and it's my reaction when I see myself in the mirror that has me freaked out.
I hadn't realized how scared I was of all of these changes until the last few weeks. Just like when my dad asked me about school and I didn't know until that moment that I was scared of the new changes. Don't get me wrong. I'm very excited about all this. It's just all so new and I don't know what to expect. I need to spend some time preparing myself for what's to come. I know it's just a number on a scale but it represents much more to me. It was a number I never thought would be possible to achieve. I had written it off. 199 was what I weighed when I was married 10 years ago; two babies ago. But I'm right there. It's coming and I want to be ready for it.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I'm Not Ready Yet
I got on the scale this morning and it read 200.6. My scale is pretty wonky and I usually have to get on it several times to get a consistent reading so I figured it was one of those times and got on it again. 200.6.
My gut reaction was: "no, I'm not ready yet."
What does that mean? I'm not sure yet. I seriously was not ready to see 199 this morning.
I did get on again 30 minutes later after I ate breakfast and it read 202.6 twice in a row.
I need a new scale.
But, I will be giving some thought to why I had that reaction. I've had a pattern of "fear of success" in the past so I need to figure out if I'm going to have any issues reaching this goal. Truth is I've never reached a weight loss goal I've set for myself before. You know, the ones like - lose 30 pounds by this vacation or be in this size dress at the class reunion. I always failed miserably at those goals. So this is a new thing for me. I'll keep you posted to what I conclude after I give it some more thought.
My gut reaction was: "no, I'm not ready yet."
What does that mean? I'm not sure yet. I seriously was not ready to see 199 this morning.
I did get on again 30 minutes later after I ate breakfast and it read 202.6 twice in a row.
I need a new scale.
But, I will be giving some thought to why I had that reaction. I've had a pattern of "fear of success" in the past so I need to figure out if I'm going to have any issues reaching this goal. Truth is I've never reached a weight loss goal I've set for myself before. You know, the ones like - lose 30 pounds by this vacation or be in this size dress at the class reunion. I always failed miserably at those goals. So this is a new thing for me. I'll keep you posted to what I conclude after I give it some more thought.
Monday, October 4, 2010
That's a Lot of Points
I've been doing Weight Watchers Points for two years now and I'm still learning how it works. A quick recap. Two weeks ago I went over my total weekly points by at the very least three points and gained a pound. This past week I did really, really well with my points and exercise and lost 2.8 pounds with a weight of 204.
This past weekend I used all of my extra weekly points and skipped Zumba on Saturday morning and found out late on Sunday that the Sunday Zumba class was cancelled. I am currently 4.5 over on points for the week (which I will make up at Zumba tomorrow night). Still with me so far?
The thing is I was expecting to see a gain on the scale all weekend having eaten my extra points already (which is a normal pattern, followed by a loss showing up Tuesday morning) but I was surprised to see the scale go down and go down even more over the weekend. At one point on Sunday I was at 202.6. That's down 4.2 pounds in two weeks. I'm very sensitive to the scale right now being so closed to the hundreds, so I was a little stumped as to why the scale was showing these numbers. That was until I looked at my weekly points from last week.
I'm not sure why I didn't make the connect, because it's pretty obvious, but the reason I was still continuing to lose after my Friday morning weigh-in was because I had 48 surplus points left over last week. That's a lot of points.
This has been one of Jim's big questions with Weight Watchers. What happens to your leftover points. I usually don't have very many points left over at the end of the week so I was always ok with the answer of use them or lose them, but obviously there is some wiggle room here.
Jim and I have been talking about strategy for weight loss over the next couple of weeks. We have a big camping trip coming up and a romantic vacation and both of us would like to enjoy some of the foods we don't usually eat. I hadn't decided what I was going to do until this image above popped out at me. I will exercise as much as I can, save my points and eat strategically.
It's also important for me to make my 199 goal this month too so I have to be in the game mentally over the next few weeks and figure out exactly what I plan to do. I don't want to get to 199 before vacation and then come back with a five pound gain putting me back in the 200s.
This past weekend I used all of my extra weekly points and skipped Zumba on Saturday morning and found out late on Sunday that the Sunday Zumba class was cancelled. I am currently 4.5 over on points for the week (which I will make up at Zumba tomorrow night). Still with me so far?
The thing is I was expecting to see a gain on the scale all weekend having eaten my extra points already (which is a normal pattern, followed by a loss showing up Tuesday morning) but I was surprised to see the scale go down and go down even more over the weekend. At one point on Sunday I was at 202.6. That's down 4.2 pounds in two weeks. I'm very sensitive to the scale right now being so closed to the hundreds, so I was a little stumped as to why the scale was showing these numbers. That was until I looked at my weekly points from last week.
This has been one of Jim's big questions with Weight Watchers. What happens to your leftover points. I usually don't have very many points left over at the end of the week so I was always ok with the answer of use them or lose them, but obviously there is some wiggle room here.
Jim and I have been talking about strategy for weight loss over the next couple of weeks. We have a big camping trip coming up and a romantic vacation and both of us would like to enjoy some of the foods we don't usually eat. I hadn't decided what I was going to do until this image above popped out at me. I will exercise as much as I can, save my points and eat strategically.
It's also important for me to make my 199 goal this month too so I have to be in the game mentally over the next few weeks and figure out exactly what I plan to do. I don't want to get to 199 before vacation and then come back with a five pound gain putting me back in the 200s.
Right this minute my plan is to shower and head to bed. Zumba kicked my butt tonight and I screwed up by eating granola and yogurt before class instead of my normal Kashi bar and I felt like I was going to lose my cookies the whole class. Time to put this day to bed and rock tomorrow.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Weigh In -And More Zumba Love
Weigh-in Day
Previous weight - 206.8
Current weight - 204
Difference - lost 2.8 pound
Total weight lost - 41
Forty-one pounds gone. It feels amazing. I think the six hours of Zumba I did this week helped :)
I know I've talked a lot about Zumba this week, but I'm not done yet.
I wish I could explain it all for you better. The point I want to get across to you is that I have hated exercise all my life and now I don't.
I was never good at sports. I played volleyball for a couple of years in grade school and we were the team that always got beat. I played a few weeks of kickball which stopped promptly after I broke my wrist trying to catch a ball.
Once I got to high school I wasn't good enough to play organized sports. I still wanted my JV letter for my school jacket and I still wanted to feel like I belonged to a group so I was a "manager" for several teams. I was the swim team manager my Freshman year (this is where I talked to Jim, my now husband, for the first time. He was sitting out from practice and he was telling me about his shoes. I was so terribly shy I don't think I said two words back to him.). Man, my memory is fuzzy - I know I was also the manager of the varsity boys basketball team and then I went back to being a manager of the swim team my Senior year? Regardless. I was always on the sidelines.
The last few weeks at Zumba I've tried to think about why I like it so much. A big part of it is the feeling of belonging. There are a lot of ladies at Zumba that I can call my friends. But there are also the ladies who's names I don't know but will chat with in the hallway before class. There are the smiles and "hellos" you get in the parking lot from others in the class that recognize you.
I also love when I'm in the hallway before class and someone will say "have you taken this class before?" I love newbies. I get really excited telling them about the class. Telling them how long I've taken it and how much weight I've lost from doing it. I give them tips about watching the front row to follow the moves. To get your feet down first before you get your arms. How if you come back a couple you'll start to memorize the moves.
There's a woman in class (I need to find out her name) that I can tell loves Zumba as much as I do. She's been going as long, if not longer than I have, but she still stays towards the back of class. I'll be in the middle of a song, concentrating on the next series of moves, looking in the mirror with a determined look on my face and I'll catch her reflection in the mirror from the back of class. It never fails that when I look at her I smile. She always has a huge smile on her face and is bouncing along to the moves. I know which songs are her favorites and even which moves she likes the best, I know when to expect her to shout out a "woo hoo."
These are not the things you get from going on a walk or doing the elliptical machine. And these are the things that I've always felt like I missed out on. Being a part of a team and being good at it. I'm good at Zumba. I've never admitted that before, but I am. I wear freaking two pound weights on each of my hands while I'm doing it. I've got the hips to shake along to the belly dance songs. I have the coordination (maybe not the rhythm) to get the moves right 99% of the time. I like being good at things.
I go because I miss it if I don't. I go because I don't want to get called out by my friends for not showing up. I go because I feel great while I'm there and even better when I leave. I go because to me it's not exercise, it's dancing. I go because it's a part of me now and it's what I do.
And I know that some of you can feel this same way if you try it. I know it's not for everyone (my sister-n-law Kim isn't drinking the Zumba kool-aid, but at least she tried it :) but my favorite Liz is a Zumba convert and fellow 2-pound weight wearer, my mom is also taking Zumba at her office and she just posted how she's starting to really like the music and the moves. If you can relate to anything I've written above and you're not currently exercising, but you want to - I challenge you to take three Zumba classes and see if you love it. It might just change the way you think about exercise.
Previous weight - 206.8
Current weight - 204
Difference - lost 2.8 pound
Total weight lost - 41
__________________________________________________
Forty-one pounds gone. It feels amazing. I think the six hours of Zumba I did this week helped :)
I know I've talked a lot about Zumba this week, but I'm not done yet.
I wish I could explain it all for you better. The point I want to get across to you is that I have hated exercise all my life and now I don't.
I was never good at sports. I played volleyball for a couple of years in grade school and we were the team that always got beat. I played a few weeks of kickball which stopped promptly after I broke my wrist trying to catch a ball.
Once I got to high school I wasn't good enough to play organized sports. I still wanted my JV letter for my school jacket and I still wanted to feel like I belonged to a group so I was a "manager" for several teams. I was the swim team manager my Freshman year (this is where I talked to Jim, my now husband, for the first time. He was sitting out from practice and he was telling me about his shoes. I was so terribly shy I don't think I said two words back to him.). Man, my memory is fuzzy - I know I was also the manager of the varsity boys basketball team and then I went back to being a manager of the swim team my Senior year? Regardless. I was always on the sidelines.
The last few weeks at Zumba I've tried to think about why I like it so much. A big part of it is the feeling of belonging. There are a lot of ladies at Zumba that I can call my friends. But there are also the ladies who's names I don't know but will chat with in the hallway before class. There are the smiles and "hellos" you get in the parking lot from others in the class that recognize you.
I also love when I'm in the hallway before class and someone will say "have you taken this class before?" I love newbies. I get really excited telling them about the class. Telling them how long I've taken it and how much weight I've lost from doing it. I give them tips about watching the front row to follow the moves. To get your feet down first before you get your arms. How if you come back a couple you'll start to memorize the moves.
There's a woman in class (I need to find out her name) that I can tell loves Zumba as much as I do. She's been going as long, if not longer than I have, but she still stays towards the back of class. I'll be in the middle of a song, concentrating on the next series of moves, looking in the mirror with a determined look on my face and I'll catch her reflection in the mirror from the back of class. It never fails that when I look at her I smile. She always has a huge smile on her face and is bouncing along to the moves. I know which songs are her favorites and even which moves she likes the best, I know when to expect her to shout out a "woo hoo."
These are not the things you get from going on a walk or doing the elliptical machine. And these are the things that I've always felt like I missed out on. Being a part of a team and being good at it. I'm good at Zumba. I've never admitted that before, but I am. I wear freaking two pound weights on each of my hands while I'm doing it. I've got the hips to shake along to the belly dance songs. I have the coordination (maybe not the rhythm) to get the moves right 99% of the time. I like being good at things.
I go because I miss it if I don't. I go because I don't want to get called out by my friends for not showing up. I go because I feel great while I'm there and even better when I leave. I go because to me it's not exercise, it's dancing. I go because it's a part of me now and it's what I do.
And I know that some of you can feel this same way if you try it. I know it's not for everyone (my sister-n-law Kim isn't drinking the Zumba kool-aid, but at least she tried it :) but my favorite Liz is a Zumba convert and fellow 2-pound weight wearer, my mom is also taking Zumba at her office and she just posted how she's starting to really like the music and the moves. If you can relate to anything I've written above and you're not currently exercising, but you want to - I challenge you to take three Zumba classes and see if you love it. It might just change the way you think about exercise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)