I've been cranky lately. I've tried to not let it happen. Every time I find myself complaining about not having enough time to get everything done, about how things never go my way and how much pressure I have on myself, I try and stop. I try and remember that I have a wonderful, healthy, happy family and that's all that really matters. But the fact remains - I've been cranky and I don't like it.
Last night I got home, was feeling sorry for myself because I had so much to do and my stomach was hurting. I had already decided I wasn't going to go to Zumba (again) and Jim offered to run an errand for me so I could stay home. We were talking about plans for the weekend and I realized how thin we were spreading ourselves and I was on the brink of just losing it, so I told Jim I was going to go to Zumba. I didn't WANT to go but I knew it was the best thing for me at the moment. Boy, was I ever right.
I'm telling you people! Listen to what this cranky girl has to say. I know now that my stomach ache was because of all the stress I was putting on myself. I got to class, made my way to the front row and just stood there. I was so tense and my mind was racing. Poor Ashley asked me how I was and I unloaded all of my worries on her. She just smiled and listened like a good friend.
Here's a photo of me and Ashley from back in June.
God love her! I love standing next to her in in class :)
Then the music started. Next thing I know I look up at the clock and 45 minutes have past. The tension was gone. My mind was blank. I was so, so happy to be in that class and I didn't want it to end.
I'm telling you! Go to a class, any class, and give yourself the gift of 60 minutes without having to think. Treat yourself to moving your body and feeling so good afterwards that you feel like you can take on the world (or wrap a million gifts).
It felt so great to be in class, to have Trish teaching, to be next to Ashley and be in sync with her moves. It was so great to see sweat dripping down my neck. To do some of my favorite routines and try out some new ones.
Just the act of walking into the YMCA and seeing the familiar faces made me feel better. To go through the routine of putting my purse in the locker, going upstairs to the weight room to get a blue towel and then waiting in the hallway for class to start. All of those routines gave me comfort. They gave me the control that I feel has been lacking so much this holiday season.
I can't wait to go back tomorrow!
I've had a rough two weeks. I think I'm back. I really need to be back. I have not had control over my eating. I need to get control back. I need consistent control over my eating.
Back in November I set a goal for myself to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year and I was well on my way. The last two weeks have me behind schedule with only two weeks left to meet my goal.
Can I still make my goal? I'm not sure, but I'm going to try. The one thing I'm always certain of is I will never give up. I always have that going for me.