Weigh In and "The Present"

Weigh in Day - May 17
Previous weight - 197.2
Current weight - 197.8
Difference - gain .6 lb.

Total weight lost - 47.2 pounds

I gained this week. I did it to myself. I let a few “cheats” creep in this week and the scale showed it. Then last night when presented with the thought of eating another salad, I made the suggestion to go out for pizza.

And so yeah, I gained this week.

I really don’t feel like writing about the “why” I went off plan this week. Instead I want to write about how I feel in this moment.

Right now I want to fight. Mentally I want to be back to where I was a few weeks ago, where straying from my plan wasn’t an option.

Well, that’s the great thing about “the present.” You don’t have to let the actions of your past get in the way of how you want to be now. Yes, I made some mistakes last week but that doesn’t mean that I’m a failure. As of right now, I’m succeeding.

Weigh In

Weigh in Day - May 10
Previous weight - 197.8
Current weight - 197.2
Difference - lost .6 lb.

Total weight lost - 47.8 pounds

Yea for a loss this week.

I'm excited for the coming week. My menu is planned out and I'm ready to go.

I went into the kitchen at 2 p.m. to get my planned 2 point yogurt. Sitting on the counter were Panera leftovers. There was a chocolate cookie ready for the taking. I actually lifted the paper to take a better look at it and strongly considered taking it back to my office. But then I thought I didn't want to start off my week with an unplanned snack. It would make me feel bad. So I took my yogurt back to my desk and didn't think about that cookie again.

I just looked up the point value for that cookie. 13 points.

I have noticed I feel more hungry than I have the past few weeks. I'm watching the clock waiting for my scheduled snack and meal times. I'm not sure what to do about it. Switch up the foods I'm eating? Drink more water? What do you think?

Week 6 is the New Week 4

Overdue ...

Weigh in Day - May 3
Previous weight - 198.6
Current weight - 197.8
Difference - lost .8 lb.

Total weight lost - 47.2 pounds

I swear I ironed my shirt that morning :(

As you can see by my loss last week, I was still chugging along doing what I needed to be doing. I had planned my menu for the week and stuck to it. I was so happy when I saw another loss on the scale on Friday.

But mentally things started to change last week. I hit that wall where I start to wonder if it's making any difference. I ignored the fact that my pants were fitting looser and instead concentrated on what my head was telling me - the only proof of my hard work was a number on a scale. Thoughts of doubt started to creep in, wondering if I really could lose weight (hello, I've lost six and a half pounds in the past five weeks). And if it was all worth it - was it worth the planning and measuring and restricting (of course it is)?

So then the weekend hit and I lost my focus and control. I didn't go crazy and eat a ton of sweets or burgers or fries. I just didn't plan my meals and although I wasn't eating unhealthy, I was eating too much.

I never did go back and track my points for the weekend - I already knew I had blown through all my extra points for the week and then some. I've been doing ok since Monday. I didn't plan my meals for the week, but I went to the store and bought the same groceries I've been buying the past few weeks. I've just been looking at past menus to plan my day - so I'm still within my daily points, I'm just no planning my meals. It looks like I'll have a small gain on Friday.

And I hate it. I hate the lack of control I'm feeling. So I'm going to fix that today. Back to what I know works.

I've been waiting for this to happen. I wrote about it here. I thought it would happen on Week 4 but it actually hit full force this week - Week 6. It's all a head game at this point. I have to get over this hump and then I will start to see the physical results. When that happened last time, it was smooth sailing for several months. I noticed a physical difference and then my friends started to see it too and pay me compliments which is so very motivating to me.

I'm right there. After writing this I feel stronger already. I can do this. I have so much to look forward to this summer and I want to look and feel my best for it. The next event on my "list" is my summer camp alumni dinner at the end of the month. According to my goal spreadsheet I will be at 194 lbs. I would love to wear a pretty maxi dress while I'm there and feel absolutely amazing in it. And let's not forget my reunion that's only 20 weeks away!

Here are a couple of photos of why I've been so busy lately - Gracie's youth ballet performance was Sunday and last week was filled with practices and dress rehearsal. She did a great job and looked beautiful. We had a lot of bonding time last week and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Dress rehearsal for Sleeping Beauty Waltz

Free comic book day!

Proud Daddy and Grandpa!

I'm Still Here and Kicking Butt

I've been so busy at home and work I haven't had a chance to sit down and write. I'm still doing great with my diet. Exercise isn't clicking for me yet. The scale is showing a loss for Friday's weigh in.

Last week we were preparing for Gracie's First Communion on Saturday and Jacob's 10th birthday on Monday. We are also in the middle of youth ballet rehearsals and dance recital practices so Gracie and I have been spending several additional hours at the studio.

Although it's hectic, I love this time of year.

Here are some of my favorite photos from the past week.

 

Weign In

Weigh in Day - April 26
Previous weight - 200
Current weight - 198.6
Difference - lost 1.4 lb.

Total weight lost - 46.4 pounds

I'm really happy to see the scale reflecting my work this week.

Sorry it's blurry. I was trying to take it really quick before someone walked in.

Here's my updated goals chart.

My Husband's 26.2

Jim ran his first full marathon over the weekend. He's done a handful of half marathons and the past couple of years he's said he wanted to train to run a full. So for the last several months he has trained hard. On Saturday mornings while I was cuddled up with the dogs in bed, Jim was at the gym running on the treadmill (I don't know how he did those long runs on the treadmill - sounds awful to me).

The whole week leading up to the race I was torn because Gracie had a ballet practice on the other side of town at the same time Jim was going to be finishing his race. I really wanted to be there for him at the finish line of his first full marathon so I made arrangements for Jim's mom to take Gracie to the practice. Gracie was disappointed she wouldn't be able to cheer on her daddy, but I assured her he would be doing many more races.

The kids and I made signs the night before, and my friend Ali gave me some suggestions on where to cheer. On the morning of the race, Jim was long gone when the kids and I got up and ready for the day. We dropped off Gracie and Jacob and I headed for mile 10.

I asked him how he was doing and he said he was doing good, he was just cold. It was in the low 40s and the wind was pretty nasty in the shade.

We caught up with him again between mile 14 and 15. I think we gave him some fuel at this stop, but it all kinds of runs together.

Then I got lost trying to go to the next stop and didn't actually catch up to him until we past him on the street and found a quick parking spot at mile 18. This was a long stretch of road and after we got back in the car we waved to him as we drove past him. Then Jacob and I hit a Subway to grab a couple of sandwiches and we waved to Jim again after we were back on the road.

Mile 22 was our last stop. I let Jacob take some photos with my phone. I had forgotten about them until now.

self portrait - that's my ear in the background

This was actually a pretty good photo - nice job Jacob!

22 miles in - I think this photo says it all

I wanted to make sure Jacob and I made it to the finish line so we went straight there after mile 22. I wish we could have stopped again, because that's probably when runners need the most support.

I think Jacob had lost interest at this point.

It was pretty emotional watching these runners cross the finish line after 26.2 miles. I loved these two.

There was a running club that was waiting at the finish line as their members came in. Several of them would cross the line with huge smiles on their faces and their friends cheering so loudly for them. As soon as the volunteer would reach up to put their medal around their necks they would break down in sobs. It was so emotional even for me to watch these complete strangers reach their goals they had trained so hard for.

I started to recognize the faces of people coming in and new that Jim would be there soon. It's funny how you can tell who someone is far away by the way they run. As I saw Jim round the corner I started jumping up and down for him. I was so excited. I think he was probably just done at that point but I couldn't have been happier for him.

Here he comes!!!

Good job honey!!! I'm so proud of you.

Weigh In and Dress Shopping

Weigh in Day - April 12 
Previous weight - 199.2
Current weight - 200
Difference - gain .8 lb.

Total weight lost - 45 pounds

Yes, I was disappointed with what the scale had to say this morning. It has been up all week and I kept waiting for it to go down. As I was getting ready for work this morning and thinking about my gain, I decided to not worry about it. I feel great and my clothes are looser. I'm confident the scale will catch up soon. I did everything right this week and I need to be proud of that.

So, what do I do when I have a disappointing weigh in? I go shopping to prove the scale wrong! I understand that this could have ended terribly if I had a bad experience in the dressing room, but thankfully it worked out in my favor.

Gracie's First Communion is next weekend and I wanted a new dress to go along with the five pounds I've lost recently. Surprising, of the dozen or so dresses I tried on there was only one I thought look ridiculous.

This is my favorite. The photo shows why. I look tiny (my perspective) in the photo. Granted, I pulled out all the photo tricks - stand sideways, cut off my arm, good lighting. But still, it shows off my best feature - my waist.

I couldn't decide between this dress and this next one. So I got both.

I felt really comfortable in this dress and I think it might be the one I end up wearing next weekend.

I really, really liked this next one, but it didn't photograph as well as the others (which I take to be a true view of what I actually look like) and I don't think I'd get as much wear out of it as the other two.

Which one is your favorite?